Saturday, July 8, 2017

Male Strippers Gone Wrong

Bad male strippers give the industry a bad name. They not only give the customers poor service, but they potentially lower future sales because the affected customers warn others away.

Good companies avoid hiring such guys. Yet, it's unavoidable that a few poor candidates slide between the cracks. Even then, these companies will eventually get rid of these guys.

Unfortunately, I work for a company that doesn't give a shit about customer service, because apparently they'll send out any guy to make a sale. Although I won't name the company in question, here's what happened:

Party #1

This bachelorette party hired two dancers. I'm not too happy with this, because I really don't like competing for tips at a private party. Furthermore, I have to worry if the other guy will do something stupid such as try to make out with an unwilling girl.

The girls talked to the other dancer on the previous day. He promised to show up. On the day of the show, he fails to call and show up.

No worries. I show up, perform, and collect my money along with his down payment and his portion of the tips. The girls leave to go to the club, and I leave for my next party. That worked out pretty well!

I inform my agent of this incident. He replies the next day, stating that the dancer showed up later. I said that the girls went straight to the club after my performance. So my agent writes back: "He said he showed up at 3 am. lol"

I sent a text to the girls asking if this was the case. It wasn't. They assured me that the dancer never called or showed up.

So my agent was lying. I wasn't sure why. Perhaps he wants impress the idea that I'm expendable, so he can pay me less for the parties. Some agents like to do that. Too bad it's a tactic that only works on the ignorant.

Party #2

Another bachelorette party a requested two dancers exactly one week after the aforementioned party. Same company with the same shitty customer service.

Expecting another no-show, I text my agent and ask if it was the same dancer as last week. His reply: "No. lol. It's a black guy named Lavonte this time."

We were both booked to perform at 10 pm. I was running late because I had another bachelorette party down the road, so I told them that I would show up at 10:30 instead. My agent knew that I would be late, because he was the one who booked me for the other party down the road.

Just before I showed up, the customer called me and demanded a pic. "I hope you're better looking than this guy. No offence, but he's not what I had in mind when I booked you guys. The website said I would have two muscular blond guys. I picked blond because the bride's soon-to-be husband is blond. Anyway, this guy here is African American, which isn't a problem, but he's short and not even muscular or the least bit good looking. And his show is horrible. Plus, I think he's high on something too."

I assured her that I would try to make things better. Fortunately, Lavonte finished up and left before I showed.

Lavonte: the high, dad-bod stripper
When I arrived, the customer absolutely refused to pay me. She stated that she had already paid $275 online and refused to give another dollar due to Lavonte's abysmal performance.

I did my routine and gave a satisfactory performance, but it was only to receive tip money at this point. The bride and her friends were happy, but they were horrified by Lavonte. They said that his eyes were bloodshot, and his energy levels were low. Halfway through his act, he sat on the couch for a few minutes and vacantly stared at nothing in particular.

They texted me his picture, which I sent to my agent. I spoke to him the next day via phone.

It turned out that Lavonte sent the company one pic of himself with a muscular swimmer's build, which was either an old pic or a fake. My agent seemed surprised, saying that he has never had any complaints about Lavonte before. I highly advised my agent to discontinue Lavonte's services, citing the angry customer complaints from the party. It was so bad that it cost both me and the agent money.

Did my agent listen? Fuck no.

One week later, he booked Lavonte for another party, then asked me to cover it when Lavonte did not contact the customers or answer his phone. Then a week later, I had to cover another party for Lavonte because of the same reasons.

My agent definitely takes a quantity over quality approach to sales.








2 comments:

  1. Lavonte's motto = "A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste!"

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  2. Bona fide example of the pathological white guilt phenomenon at play. Those politically correct white damsels should have turned him away at the door but they would then have to come to grips with their "racist" souls. The sad fact of the matter is, Lavonte's white equivalent would have been turned away at the door no doubt.
    Likewise, if Lavonte's white equivalent would have shown up at an all black female party, there would have been a full scale riot on par with a black lives matter chimp-out.

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