2012 Update

Just a quick note. I just moved and don't have internet access at the moment. Until then, I won't be able to do any significant updates. However, I can periodically check my e-mail, so feel free to reach me there: sinistralmetal@yahoo.com

When I get my internet set up, I'll have more updates. Thank you for your patience.

8 Things I Dislike About Male Stripping

Imperfection exists in all jobs, and like all jobs, even male stripping has its drawbacks. Even though most parties provide me with entertainment, some parties make me want to quit. I know that stripping is easy money, and there are a lot of professions that dish out high stress situations with little pay, but I have to list some points about stripping that I hate. While the list below may seem trivial to some of you hard-working leaders, keep in mind that I have to demonstrate that male stripping is not perfect all the time. This job has its bad moments.

So without further ado, here are the 8 things I dislike about male stripping.

1.) Demanding Girls - These girls resemble the demanding customers who come into any business and nitpick about every little, insignificant detail. Few things satisfy these customers. They are likely to bitch and moan about you despite your best efforts to please them. Fortunately, these girls come few and far between in my line of work.

2.) Mean Girls - Some people are just downright mean no matter what you say or do. Some girls have their barbs aimed at me as soon as I open the door---they just love to throw insults around for no good reasons at all except to make themselves feel better. I notice more of this type at sorority-oriented parties than anything else. Mean girls also tend to be demanding as well, which is the worst combination. In fact, the second party of my career contained both mean and demanding girls, and I almost didn't pursue male stripping because of it. Unfortunate for them, I can leave as soon as I collect the money.

3.) Jealous Men - I have noticed that the mere fact of women paying me to take off my clothes and party with them elicits pure hatred out of some men. I have also noticed that some of these men want to hurt or even kill me if some of the women in the crowd flirt with me. I have dealt with all kinds of bullshit regarding jealous men wanting to fight me throughout my stripping career. While dealing with jealous men is not common, it can be annoying and downright dangerous at times. Once I had a bar full of cowboys wanting to jump me. To remedy this problem, I carry a gun with me at all times.

4.) No Weekends - It's hard to plan a weekend when most of my work falls on a weekend. While most people spend time with their family or friends, I have to go to work. One consoling aspect about male striping is that most parties invite out after the party, so I end up going out. I just spend my weekends with strangers instead of friends.

5.) Jealous Girlfriends - Having a serious girlfriend and being a male stripper do not go hand in hand. Most women tend to have a problem with this job for obvious reasons. Even the more understanding and selfless girls eventually grow discontent after awhile. To avoid this problem, I suggest postponing all serious relationships while working as a male dancer.

6.) Social Taboo - I work a professional job during the day. If this employer discovered that I work as a stripper on the side, they would fire me. So I have to maintain a low profile and cover my tracks.

7.) Driving - I spend the majority of my time driving to and from a location rather than stripping (this may only apply to the male strippers who work private parties instead of shows). Factoring in the cost of gas, car maintenance, and wear and tear on my vehicle, the driving part sucks.

8.) Repulsive Women - Some women are repulsive. They are so scary that I don't even want to go near them. The odor emanating from these women would cause a skunk to wear a gas mask. Some of these women can outweigh sumo wrestlers. So guess what? As a male stripper, you have to entertain these women. A male stripper should not deny one group service due to appearance, meaning that if you stumble upon a party full of overweight women who smell of rancid sweat, then it's your job to entertain them. They paid for a service, and your job is to provide that service. Yes, it sucks sometimes, but you have to smile and do your job.

So there you have it. The eight things I dislike about male stripping. No job is perfect, but male stripping sure rates high on my list. If I could do it all over again, then I would sign up over and over.

Stripper's Log: November 18, 2011

Yesterday, I had a bachelorette party that sounded promising. The girl who hired me was called Amanda, and her eager and excited tone gave me the hint that this was going to be an exciting party. "The bride is really wild," Amanda told me. "She's going to be down for whatever you do to her, and she's going to be all over you."

Amanda told me the location of the party, which would be at the soon-to-be-bride's house. She also wanted me to dress as a cop and arrive around 9 o'clock. I spoke with Amanda a bit more to get more of a feel for the party and learned that the bride was from Poland and that she would love a male stripper. Her mother, who was also from Poland, was going to be there as well. So far, Amanda's story of the bride told me that I was going to have a bachelorette fondling and groping me more in relation to the amount of alcohol imbibed.

At 7 o'clock, I sent a text message to Amanda asking if the party was still good to go. She replied back, wanting to move the party back to 10 o'clock because the girls were still eating at a restaurant. That was fine with me. It gave me more time to prepare.

At 8:56, Amanda sent me this text message (text message is unedited):

"Something just went down, groom is pissed, we have to cancel. I am so sorry."

Rarely in my career as a stripper has anyone ever cancelled one hour before a show. One day perhaps, but not one hour. I wasn't mad at all. Just curious. I had to find out what happened. Below is the text conversation that I had with Amanda:

Me - 8:57 PM : It's okay. What happened?

Amanda - 8:58 PM : Bad fall out with groom. We are all leaving. I have never been apart of such a circus. I am so sorry.

Me - 9:06 PM : It's fine. Sorry you couldn't have fun. Did the groom show up or something?

Amanda - 9:14 PM : He changed his plans and decided to stay at the house. I tried to tell him that we were hoping for some girl time and he got very disrespectful. We are all leaving and getting a hotel room :(

After reading that, I was glad that she cancelled when she did. If such a dramatic scene unfolded with just the girls there, I could only imagine what would have happened had I shown up and stripped for the bride. The pay loss from such a cancellation was well worth avoiding such a situation.

Here is my theory on what happened: The groom knew that his fiance was a wild party girl and didn't trust her alone with a bunch of girls. Therefore, he showed up to crash the party to prevent anything from happening. Of course, every girl was probably thinking that he was the biggest asshole in the world, but I can't really blame the guy. His suspicions were dead on---his fiance, according to Amanda, was wild and she probably would have tried to "get crazy" with me.

So while I applaud this guy for putting his foot down and standing his ground, I cannot help but wonder why he's marrying such a wild party girl in the first place if he feels like he cannot trust her alone. Hence, this is another example of a man who chooses a mate based on girl's beauty rather than her morals and principles.

Stripper's Log: Friday, 11-11-11

Earlier in the week, I stripped for a 40th birthday party at a beach condo by the Gulf of Mexico. These ladies came all the way down from Illinois, and they requested for a "cowboy stripper" for their wild time away from home. The birthday lady was a small, petite blonde. She had no idea I was coming.

Because I came as a cowboy, my pre-stripping routine came off as awkward. Usually, I arrive as a cop and tell the party that I am responding to a "noise violation" or such nonsense. As a cowboy wearing faux-leather pants, I could not create any justifiable excuse for being there. Nonetheless, I showed up pretending to be a friend of one of the girls, and believe it or not, the birthday girl bought into the charade.

All was well until she discovered that I was an actual stripper. Her reaction stopped me dead in my tracks. She clenched her jaw and glared at the lady who hired me, swearing at her and even kicking at her. "Why the fuck did you hire a stripper for?" she demanded.

At this point, I was wondering if I was even going to strip. In my whole career as a male stripper, I cannot remember a woman becoming angry at having a male stripper. Shocked or embarrassed, maybe. But not angry. The other ladies tried to soothe the birthday girl, but placed her hand against her forehead and sighed in exasperation.

"My husband would kill me! I can't believe you did this."

"No one will say anything," one lady said.

After much coaxing and cajoling, the petite birthday lady finally acquiesced to peer pressure. "Okay, okay... Go ahead," she said, beckoning me with her hand.

Her friends responded gleefully by shoving dollars into her. Before I dove in for them, I told the birthday lady to let me know if I was pushing any boundaries. Then, I proceeded to extract a few dollars from her bra.

"Oh my God, I'm cheating on my husband," she said.

"No you're not," another lady said. "Just enjoy it."

As though she were participating in a poker tournament, her face read no emotion as I took off my cowboy hat and placed it on her head. She wasn't impressed when I took off my shirt. However, when I thrust my ass towards her and pulled down my pants, she came to life.

"Wow," she said, grabbing my ass and shoving a few dollars into my thong. "Okay, maybe this was a good idea.

I turned and faced her and noticed that she just stared at the front of my thong where my cock was. She pulled the top down a bit and tucked a dollar in far enough down that I felt her fingers brush the base of my cock.

Soon several other girls joined in to put money in my thong. These girls came prepared with money. Not only did they use one-dollar bills, but they used fives, tens, and twenties. After awhile, my thong could not hold any more money---I felt as though I were wearing a money belt. One lady waved a hundred-dollar bill at me, then she shoved it into her bra right on her nipple. After I got it out, another lady sprayed whipped-creme on her chest and wanted me to lick it off.

The birthday girl continued drinking, and she hugged me, caressed me, and spanked me more and more as the night went on. The other girls marveled at my Southern accent and asked if I was embellishing it. I assured them that was my usual manner of speaking.

After announcing group photos to conclude the party, the petite blonde approached me and hugged me. "Dion, you were my first stripper, and you're the best. I'm sorry how I reacted at first. I was a bit overwhelmed. But you made this the best birthday ever."

Relationships

Several readers have commented about whether or not I had relationships because I write more about hooking up with girls than dating them. I have had several relationships, but never thought anyone wanted to read about them. In truth, most of my relationships were mundane and not worth writing about.

So to quell the many questions about my love life, I'll give a brief run through of the more prominent relationships that come to mind:

Jackie -

I don't have anything bad to say about her. In 2000, Jackie and I met at a club of all places. We danced at first, then talked for awhile, and she gave me her number. To my surprise, she actually answered her phone when I called the next day and we talked for hours. She was a year older than I was and already had a child, a son. She was very intelligent, hard-working, and self-motivated. I wanted a serious relationship with her, but I was moving to Gainesville soon to attend the University of Florida. Jackie told me that a long distance relationship wouldn't work, but we kept in contact through the years.

When I became a male stripper, Jackie felt complete and utter shock because she could not imagine me as one, because I was "shy" and "quiet." Nonetheless, she cheered me on. I graduated UF and landed a job in Japan. She was one of the few people who would actually call me while I was over there. When I returned, we dated a short time. She wanted a relationship and even dropped a few hints about marriage, but by this time, I felt that I wasn't ready for a relationship. She ended up marrying someone and moving on. The last time I saw her was in a grocery store. She had her son with her, and she was pregnant. We spoke for awhile, hugged, and then parted ways. Knowing her, I'm sure she is doing fine now.

Karin -

She was a European girl I met during tennis class. Our relationship started out heated at first, but a language barrier and cultural differences drove the wedge between us. We would have fights over trivial matters such as me owning a gun, something which many American girls would ignore. On top of that, Karin had to go back to Europe, so we tried the long-distance relationship because we thought it could work. I must admit, it was one of my dumber ideas. Our relationship ended when Karin called me from Europe one day to inform me that she hooked up with a guy at a club.

A larger story exists between me and Karin, since she partially influenced my decisions to become a male stripper. Perhaps I'll write more about it one day...

Alishia -

After Karin, I dated Alishia. I even wrote a whole story about her. Click here to read it: Male Stripping History Pisses Off Girl.

Naoko -

When I first arrived in Japan for work after college, I made a vow to myself to never date a Japanese girl. Relationships are hard work without a language barrier and cultural differences bogging them down further, and I did not want to repeat the mistakes I made with Karin. However, I didn't make any friends at first. I dated a Canadian girl and a Scottish girl---both girls did not work out. After a few months of going to work and going back home to my small apartment, life in Japan began to get very lonely. I had no friends, no family, and I was in a different culture where everyone spoke a different language.

So when Naoko came into my life, I had forsaken my vow and dated her. It wasn't a bad time. Naoko was an extremely kind and caring person, raised in the traditional Japanese manner where manners, elegance, and the ability to please a husband took priority. I'm sure that she would have made a great wife had I married her, but I would have been unhappy. We separated before I left Japan. I hope she has found her happiness by now---she deserves it.

The Writer -

I met The Writer in 2007. The reason I am calling her "The Writer" is because she is an actual published romance novelist, and a quick use of Google can produce a good amount information about her, and I will not list her name here since I'm sure that she wants no affiliation with my blog. Anyway, we dated and I quit stripping because I liked her so much. We eventually got engaged. However, we were two different people with two different lifestyles: She likes to drink at bars or sit and watch t.v. on the couch; I like to work out and do adventurous outdoor activities such as kayaking or hunting. Moreover, I caught her in several lies and lost my trust and respect for her as a result. I should have ended it, but I actually wanted to try my best to fix things. Instead, I dragged out the relationship until we were almost at each others' throats.

Note: Before I met The Writer, I had my male stripper blog on another website with a few older stories. Well, she read it when we first started dating and told me that it was garbage and that no one would ever want to read it (of course, I'll let you readers decide that from now on). Since she was a published author and I liked her so much, I believed her and deleted the site along with all my stories. As I got to know her, I just realized that she loathed my stripping job, which was understandable. Moreover, she hated the idea of me writing any stories pertaining to it.  If I have one regret, then it's deleting my old stories for her.

I hope this post answers some of the questions that y'all had about my relationship experiences. In the meantime, you can e-mail me questions or comments here: sinistralmetal@yahoo.com