Top 5 Essential Outfits for a Male Stripper

For any apiring male stripper, costumes are an absolute necessity. Those men who think they can work for an agency without a costume will never get any work. I never got work until I bought some costumes.

Without further ado, I'll present the most important costumes:

5.) Pizza Delivery Guy - Go to Pizza Hut and request an empty pizza box. Offer to buy a pizza if you have to. Walk in with the pizza as you wait for your payment. This costume is the most amusing, because girls are less likely to suspect that you're a stripper. Reactions of utter shock and surprise are common, because no one ever expects the pizza delivery guy to take off his clothes.

4.) Cowboy - Country women often request the cowboy outfit. The best thing to do with this outfit is to designate a "cowgirl." To do this, you first take off your cowboy hat, place it on a girl's head, then place her above your crotch and make her "ride" you while you dry hump her.

3.) Fireman - With this costume, a male stripper can show up to the party, knock on the door, and announce that he has to check inside the building due to a reported sighting of smoke. When all is clear, he can start stripping.

2.) Military Uniform - This was a must-have when I stripped in Ireland. The agent demanded that I get a Navy uniform. American girls request it as well, though less often. This outfit made number 2, because of its popularity in the U.K. and Ireland. This outfit is for the girls who love their men in uniform.

1.) Police Officer - The most requested outfit. Women request this almost 50% of the time. The more authentic the police uniform, the more fun the party becomes, especially when the girls believe that you're a real cop. Just show up, announce that the neighbors called the police due to a noise complaint, then interrogate the bachelorette. Sometimes the bachelorette will become indignant because she thinks that an actual cop is ruining her party. On top of that, handcuffing women is always fun.

Those are the Top 5 essential outfits for any male stripper. To even consider stripping, I recommend owning at least two of the above. I had three: the cop, cowboy, and pizza-delivery boy.

Authentic cop, fireman, and military uniforms aren't the easiest to find. Expect to spend good money for high quality outfits. I spent a few hundred dollars on my police outfit, but the amount of work I received for having it made the investment worthwhile.

In conclusion, a male stripper is not defined by just his looks and charm, but by his costumes as well!

Race Matters

There is no such thing as racial equality in male stripping. And there never will be.

Ethnicity makes a huge difference in this field---at least with the private parties. A crowd of black girls will request a black guy. Country girls usually want a white guy. Latinas typically request latino guys. No one ever requests an Asian guy...well except once, but I'll go into that another time.

Well, I am half Asian.

My mother is Asian. My dad is white, but has a bit of Native American Indian blood in him. As a result, he tans easily, and so do I.

Fortunately, this mixture benefits me since my agent promotes me whenever convenient. If the girls want a white guy, then he tells them that I am white. If the girls want a Latino, he tells them I am Latino. Black girls almost always want a black guy, so I wouldn't get the same amount of work as I would if I were black, but my agent says I'm darker than most guys. Therefore, I can cover a broad range of ethnicities, maximizing my profits.

My agent really only exaggerates about race when the girls make a big issue out of it. I have shown up to parties where my agent told the girls I was 100% white or Latino, only to have the party discover that I was mixed. The girls never cared, as long as the performance went well. Here and there, a few girls will get together and dote on me about how exotic I am.

Sometimes I lie.

I have told girls that I was Eastern European, Native American Indian, or some strange mixture that I concoct at the last second. They always believe me, or my agent. Either way, they're happy and I get paid in the end, so everyone benefits.

Male Stripping Questions - Part 21

How much longer will you be a male stripper? It seems as if being a male stripper is age limited to younger men. I'm not sure what age one stops stripping. What's next after you stop doing it? John

Not much longer. I work professional job as my main source of income strip for extra money. I'm in the process of getting a new professional job and probably won't have time to strip. Stripping is becoming tiresome anyway. I like having my weekends free after a typical work week, not driving around all night alone.

I'm 29 now, but I think male stripping is more suited for younger men. I have heard of male strippers who were over 30. Some Chippendales perform even beyond 40. If I wanted to continue to strip, then I think I would have another ten years at least. I'm in the best shape of my life now and show no outward signs of aging. But I'm not going to stick around with this job.

Male stripping is not a wise career choice, unless you work as a Chippendale who's great at saving money. You cannot list any great qualifications or work skills due to male stripping on a professional resume. As a private party stripper, work is erratic and inconsistent. Male stripping is more for younger men who are attending college or seeking a second job on the side. I started male stripping in college and it provided me with good money and some of the best times of my life. Yet, there comes a time when one must move on.

I'm in the process of moving on. I'll strip for a little while longer, but there is no more growth for me in the male stripping business. I need something else.

I have several things lined up. In addition to a new job, I'm in the process of working on a manuscript about my experiences as a male stripper. One literary agent already expressed interest. I just need to write down my experiences as a memoir, or consolidate some of the stories on here into a book.

Lost in Translation - Japan 2005

In 2005, I received my Bachelor's degree and got a job as an English teacher in Japan. As a result, I had to quit my job as a male stripper for almost two years.

Although I studied Japanese at college, I still didn't know everything about the culture. I experienced several varieties of culture shock over there. The one the stood out the most was the average Japanese girl's perception of Western men.

Before I left for Japan, I was seeing three American girls at the same time. When I arrived in Japan, I didn't get laid for almost half a year. I wondered why. I still looked the same as I did in America when girls were paying me to strip.

Then I made a shocking discovery: Most Japanese girls thought I was gay.

At first, I was clueless. Several of my Japanese coworkers made gay jokes with me, but I simply thought they were joking. Then, some female students asked me outright about my sexual orientation. After awhile, I realized that everyone was serious--they actually thought that I was gay.

In America, this kind of mistake would never happen. I have the Southern Drawl when I speak. Most of my normal clothes consist of jeans, t-shirts, wifebeaters, and workout gear. I love guns and hunting.

A lot of young Japanese males dress in a style that some Americans call "metrosexual." I've seen many Japanese men wearing anything from tight, flashy jeans with white belt dotted with rhinestones to expensive hair perms. Yet, the Japanese girls thought I was gay.

For awhile, I thought someone at work hated me and was spreading false rumors. Then, I finally discovered the source of this misconception during a conversation with a Japanese coworker named Mizuho. She asked me what kind of men I liked. By now, I was beginning to get pissed.

"Where did you get the idea that I was gay?" I asked her.

"You're not gay?!" Mizuho said, surprised.

"No!" I said. "Who told you that bullshit?"

"No one," she said. "It's the way you dress. You wear tank tops."

"Tank tops?" I asked, a little confused at this point.

"Usually Western men who wear tank tops, work out, and have muscles are gay," Mizuho said.

I laughed at her. I have heard many stereotypes in my lifetime, but this topped my list as one of the most absurd. According to her logic, I guess most Western athletes are gay. I waved her over to the window and gestured down to the street below where hundreds of Japanese were walking. "See those young men there," I said, pointing to a group of teenagers who were dressed too flashy for even a gay club in North America.

Mizuho nodded.

"People in America would assume that they're gay."

"Uso!" she said.

"I'm not lying. Let's call in Ann," I said. Ann was my coworker from Texas. We called her in and I showed her to the window. "Ann, which would you is gayer: Those guys down there in the street, or me?"

Ann raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Mizuho thinks I'm gay because I wear tank tops and work out."

For a moment, Ann looked at me like I was telling her a bad joke. Then, she burst out laughing. "Dion...gay? No, Mizuho. You got it wrong. Dion is a redneck! Repeat it after me: redneck!"

From that day forth, I made some slight adjustments to how I dressed over there. Almost instantly, the local girls' gave me the reactions that I had in America. Who would have thought that a culture would equate homosexuality with working out or bodybuilding. The Japanese culture books never mentioned anything on this...

Being Friends With Exes = Retarded

Apparently, my male-stripping profession makes me some type of relationship guru. I've received several e-mails asking what type of girls to look for and what type to avoid. Answering each one of these e-mails privately has become quite time consuming, so I'm going to post my common advice.

Some of this advice can apply to the female readers as well, unless it's otherwise obvious.

For today, I'm going to focus on the disqualifying factors for a relationship. You don't need to date someone if he or she is associated with any of the qualities below:

1.) Friends with exes (or former fuck buddies).

In this day and age, the concept of remaining friends with exes has become quite common. No wonder the divorce rate steadily climbs higher. Never ever commit to someone who's determined to remain friends with an ex. Staying friends with exes (or fuck buddies) while investing in a new relationship is both inappropriate and unfair to your new partner. I strongly advise against dating people who can't let go of their past.

2.) "I need romance (in order to have sex with you)."

Guys, if a girl ever tells you this load of bullshit, then she's just not attracted to you anymore. Therefore, she needs romance as a substitute for attraction to have sex with you. Keep this in mind: Women never need romance for one-night stands. The girl who went to the club, got drunk, and hooked up with a random stranger was just craving a dick. So if your girl has ever had a one-night stand, but demands romance out of you, then I suggest you find a different girl.

Or the flip side to this:

3.) "I watch too much porn."

Ladies, if your man rarely fucks you, but always masturbates to porn, then he's just not attracted to you. Don't get me wrong, porn is great in moderate amounts---I'm a huge fan of it. But a man is living in a fantasy when he forgoes actual pussy for his favorite Internet porn star video.

Men, think of it like this: Your favorite porn fantasies are the equivalent of some women's favorite romance novel fantasies. The absurdity of you becoming the exotic prince of her romantic desires is tantamount to your woman taking a rough anal pounding and finishing you off with a blowjob while enjoying every bit of it. It's not likely to happen...unless your woman is into that kind of thing already.

4.) "I have trust issues, because my ex..."

If you're an honest person, then why do you have to pay for something that someone else has done in the past? For instance, just because someones ex cheated on him/her, doesn't mean you will. People with trust issues will treat you as if you will either lie, cheat, or stab them in the back.

I'm not advocating that you have to trust someone with complete and utter devotion from day one. Trust is earned, not dictated. What I'm saying is that your partner shouldn't place unfair accusations and suspicions on you because someone fucked him/her over in the past.

5.) Random psychological issues

I'll start this with a personal example.

When I was 23, I was fucking this hot blonde on a regular basis. After only a week of knowing her, she told me that her uncle used to molest her. I was pissed---not at her uncle, but at her. Whether or not her story was true, she was seeking attention. Even if it were true, why would she give out this information to someone she has only known for a damn week!?

She became angry when I didn't give her the typical sympathetic response. What did she want me to do about it? Beat the shit out of her uncle? Pat her on the back and offer to take care of her? Basically, her sob story about her uncle was only the prelude to other dramatic experiences in her life. I told her that she needed to resolve her problems on her own, or seek professional help---not unload it all on me. I soon cut contact with her, because she would have dragged me into her mess of a life story.

The moral of this story is to avoid dating anyone with deep psychological issues. Unless you want to act as a free therapist 24/7, I recommend dating someone who is normal. Therefore, your relationship starts out without any problems and you don't have to fix anything. Trying to become a savior for a self-destructive person will only result in a destructive lifestyle for yourself because you'll be carrying the weight of their emotional burden.

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Well, there you have it. Those are the negative qualities to avoid in prospective partners. Follow this advice and you'll weed out a lot of potential drama in future relationships.