Cashing Out Tip Money

Last weekend, I've done two shows and earned a little over 600 dollars. Approximately 280 dollars of that were in one-dollar bills as seen below:

This is what $280 in ones look like.

That much money fits poorly in most wallets, so I went to the bank to exchange them for larger denominations. The lady across the counter gawked at me.

The money-counting machine at the front could not take so much cash, so she had to go into another room to use the largest machine. Other employees took notice of the cash and cast surreptitious glances at me.

It was very awkward. At least the lady had the professionalism not to ask me why I had so many ones. She probably had a hint where those bills came from because they smelled strongly of perfume.

The Average Income

"What's the average income for a male stripper?"

The earnings from my first 3 shows of 2015.

Guys ask me this question all the time. Some want a job to pay their way through college. Others just want a fun way to get rich. Answering this question is almost impossible for the following reasons:

1. No accountability - Strippers usually don't report the money they make since most of it comes under the table. Plus, most guys don't even keep track of what they earn throughout the year.

2. Sales ability - Stripping is a sales job, based on performance and numbers. Some of us are better at it than others. Those of us who understand sales, marketing, and customer service have an obvious advantage.

3. Work ratio - No two strippers work the same hours. Some dancers have full time professional jobs and only strip on the side, turning down many opportunities that cause schedule conflicts. Others strip as their sole source of income, thus taking every gig possible.

4. Location - The bachelorette party hotspots determine where the work is. For example, Las Vegas has more demand for male strippers than Podunk, Mississippi. 

5. Versatility - The profit margin extends to how far a guy is willing to sell himself. The stripper, himself, is a product, and the more a product can do, the more it can sell itself. Most of the time it is bachelorette private parties. Sometimes it's performing on stage. Some strippers even sell sex or do gay-4-pay porn. Men who are willing to do anything and everything have the options to make more money than those who only strip at bachelorette parties.

6. Personal Appeal - Stripping is a popularity contest. Women tend to choose the hottest guy for their parties and tip him more at male revues. No equal opportunity here.

Considering those factors, let me use an example to demonstrate why it's difficult to gauge an average income. 

Take me, for instance. I strip for mostly bachelorette parties in sparsely populated resort communities off the Emerald Coast. I do this mainly on weekends due to my full-time job during the week, turning down many shows. Therefore, I usually work 2 to 3 parties a week during the peak season and earn some extra cash, but not enough to buy a Ferrari anytime soon.

Now let's say there's a stripper named Earl in Las Vegas. In addition to bachelorette parties, he works at male revues, at gay clubs, and does one-on-one with rich clients. He doesn't have a full-time job, so he strips as his main source of income, taking any and every gig available. As a result, Earl will earn a lot more money than I will in a year's time.

One of my agents, a former male stripper, claims that his top guys make from $150,000 to $300,000 a year. However, that involves many hours of driving and a lot of events. It taxes the body after awhile.

"I know guys that drive 5 or 6 hours a day, everyday," he says. "I used to travel from 10,000 to 12,000 miles a month in my car. It was not as fun as some people would think, but I did enjoy it."

All in all, a male stripper's income depends on how much he's willing to work and how far he's willing to travel. Some guys don't like working that much, or don't want to work on the weekends. Others are absolute workaholics. The salary resembles a sales-based commission job, and no two strippers are alike.

Shopping With Ones

I hate one-dollar bills. Being a male stripper gives me the honorary privilege of receiving tons of them, which can be quite cumbersome for my pockets. I usually just gather all my ones together and store them in a cabinet, which is tantamount to sweeping dust under the rug where it piles up eventually.

What happens is that I'll have another party where I'll get more ones and have little room left for them. When this happens, I'll either go shopping or change them out at the bank.

Today, I decided to spend all the bills from the past week, which amassed to over three-hundred dollars. I needed some rat-shot rounds for my .38 special for the occasional snake that slithers into my chicken coup, so I stopped at the gun store.

The gun store also had 00 buck shot and .223 rounds in stock, a rarity in these times considering all the gun-ban scare going on, so I asked the white-bearded old man behind the counter for a few boxes of each. The total was almost a hundred dollars. I pulled out my wad of ones and began counting.

"Holy shit, that's a whole lotta ones," the old man said. "Where'd you get all them from?"

A customer next to me, who was looking at the rifles behind the counter, stopped to join in on the conversation. He was a young man in his twenties with a buzz cut, probably in the military. "He must be a male stripper," he said in a joking tone.

If he only knew the truth to his words. I laughed. "Well, if that were the case, I don't think he'd be wantin' to take my money," I said, cocking my head toward to old man.

"Heh heh, probly not!" the old man said, taking my ones and counting them. "But money's money!"

Little did the old man know that half of bills came either from my ass crack or my crotch. If he had that knowledge, then he wouldn't have paused between counting the cash to lick his thumb and finger to moisten them so he could shuffle through the dry bills.

As to where else my money had been, I have little desire to know.