Sunday, September 27, 2015

Don't Quit Your Day Job - by Male Stripper Zane

Many guys who often want to change careers or pay for college e-mail me about becoming male strippers, as though stripping for women will solve all their current financial woes in life. Now a top-notch stripper can make a comfortable or even a wealthy living, but he's the pick of the litter, or the beau monde of the industry. Not all car salesmen earn millions of dollars, and not every male stripper rakes in heaps of cash every week.

A friend of mine, Male Stripper Zane, gives some helpful advice for those exploring the possibility of entering the industry:

Don't Quit Your Day Job - by Zane

I repeat, do not quit your day job!  In fact, ideally, you should have a day job and also strip.  That's what I do, and it works.  I'll tell you why.  Have you ever heard the phrase "Don't put all your eggs in one basket?"  That's my mentality when it comes to job(s) and making money.

I currently have, I don't know how many different part time ventures that make money.  I haven't counted. But stripping is one of those gigs and it's worked out very well for me.

I hear about all these new guys trying to break into the stripper world, who think they can quit their job and get rich taking their clothes off for women.  Now, while anything is possible, lemme tell you that is extremely unlikely unless you're talking about touring with Chippendales or something.

Trust me, don't put all your eggs in one basket.  Not in your 40 hour a week job, and not in stripping.  For a few reasons...
First of all, variety is the spice of life, and you owe it to yourself not to limit yourself to being a one-trick pony.  Secondly, whether you are a professional stripper or not, I found it's always better to have multiple streams of income as an independent contractor.  Which means that you work when you want, and have the flexibility to take or turn down gigs as you see fit, and set your schedule accordingly.  That's entrepreneurship.

Here's an example as it applies to my life...
I am a professional male stripper, operating with over 30 different companies who book male dancers in and around the Nashville area.  I also DJ and bartend at a venue in Madison, Tn.  I also sell beer and build the stages for events at the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville.  I'm also a pyro technician, working thru a company based out of LaFollette, Tn.  I'm also a musician, and make electronic / industrial music as a completely different persona outside of being Zane, the male dancer.  On top of that, I also contract gigs thru a couple of talent casting agencies.  Hell I am literally on set for the t.v. show, "Nashville."

There are several other ventures, gigs, streams of income I haven't even mentioned here.  I've got a resume as long as a horse's dick.  Hell, in about 2 weeks I'm doing a stand up comedy gig where for about half the set I'm talking about stripping, that'll be fun.  I tell you all this, not because I'm trying to make myself look like a big shot or anything, but because I'm reiterating that I am not a one trick pony as a male dancer and you shouldn't be either.  Let's say, for whatever reason, that I fucked up one day and the manager of a booking company or someone else decides they don't wanna work with me anymore. That would only be one basket gone.  One stream of income soured, one bridge burned.  It would suck, but it would not ruin you the way that losing your only job could ruin you...
This gig doesn't last a lifetime.

Empower yourself.  Fuck a 9-5.   Live life on your own terms.  But whatever you do, however you tread, don't quit your day job.  Have several day job hustles that kick ass, and don't burn your bridges with anyone.  Ever.

Dion says:

Zane makes a very excellent point.

I'd like to add that your stripping income relies solely on customer flow. No customers means no work, which means no money.

Furthermore, putting all of your eggs into the stripping basket hurts you in the long run. If you do nothing but strip in your 20's and 30's, you are failing to build your professional work resume and other marketable job skills. Therefore, when you become too old to strip, you'll have to look for another job. And trust me: starting an entry-level position at the age of 40 due to a lack of professional skills isn't pretty.

For most men, stripping should be a side gig, a part-time job. Not a career.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

7 Unattractive Traits that Women Find in Men

After working over a decade in the industry I’ve picked up a few things that women tend to like and dislike in men. If you're one of those guys out there having trouble getting a girlfriend or snagging a date, then you probably carry at least one of the traits listed below:

Unattractive Male Trait 1: Insecurity

Insecurity encompasses several things: a need to prove oneself, irrational jealousy, or a constant desire to be over-protective. Each one can turn a girl off faster than a wet fart during oral sex. 

If you feel the need to wrap your arms around her each time another man looks in her direction, then chances are that you're insecure. If you feel the need to interrogate her for greeting the grocery store clerk, then chances are that you're insecure. If you feel the need to demonstrate how much superior you are to other men around her, then chances are that you're insecure.

So relax. You cannot control everything. Just be in control of yourself.

Unattractive Male Trait 2: Boring Personality

Counteract this with a sense of humor. Women love men who make them laugh. A man who can laugh with his friends often looks like a fun person to be around. No one wants to hang around those who are always so serious and uptight.

Unattractive Male Trait 3: Bragging

So you make a lot of money, drive a fancy car, lift more than everyone at the gym, and date supermodels… and you must tell the whole world. Impress them with your wealth, power, and achievements. Guess what? Most people will nod along politely, but they really don't care (unless they're after your money). 

The more you brag about how much you have, the more she shakes her head and rolls her eyes in disgust, especially when you’re too busy talking about yourself to ask about her. Employ some modesty and use your time to get to know her. If you really are a great catch, have loads of money, a nice house, and a great job, then she can ask about it on her own if she's interested in you. You don't need to bore her ears off with your boasting. Just remember: bragging is another way for men to conceal their boring personalities and insecurities.

Unattractive Male Trait 4: Not Taking Care of Oneself

Women like men who smell good and take care of themselves. If you resemble an obese slob who never uses deodorant and wears tattered clothes, then you’re probably not going to find a date.

"But, but... What about my awesome personality?" you say. 

What about it? Do you think that beautiful woman who spends all that time putting on makeup, doing her hair, getting her nails done, and applying lotion all over her skin so it's silky smooth wants a man who doesn’t give a shit about his appearance and hygiene? You don’t have to be a Calvin Klein underwear model, but it doesn’t hurt to exercise and maintain proper hygiene.

The same applies for your household habits. Nothing screams “disgusting” to a woman than a man who leaves his dirty socks, underwear, and dinner plates scattered about his living quarters. Clean up after yourself, because you're not going to attract any women if you dwell in a pig sty.

Unattractive Male Trait 5: Lack of Proper Etiquette

You don't need to show up on a white horse dressed as a knight, but acting as a gentleman won't hurt once in a while. Open the door for her when you're out on a date. If she's carrying something heavy, offer to carry it in her stead. Don't let her walk back to her car alone through that dark alley. 

Women like to feel safe and respected, not ditched and neglected.

Unattractive Male Trait 6: No Ambition

Most women are attracted to men who have a passion in life about goals, ideas, and things to achieve. These things can center around hobbies, activities, your job, or projects at home. Either way, you should be a constant work in progress.

Women find men who have no drive or motivation to be repulsive. So for those of you who are unemployed and sitting at your parents' house playing video games all day, you might want to get up off your ass and do something productive. Otherwise, you'd better get used to watching porn the rest of your life.

Unattractive Male Trait 7: The Ungenuine Nice Guy

You're only nice to that girl because you want her. You sacrifice your self-worth in order to please her. You buy her gifts and attend to her every need. Yet, whenever she dates another man instead of you, you become furious and spiteful. 

The kindness of the Ungenuine Nice Guy is conditional, extending only to the object of his desire at that current moment. This trait is not only unattractive to most women, but it puts them on their guard. Moreover, this is a very unhealthy approach to dating because it involves placing your happiness in someone else.

 It's great to be nice as long as it's authentic and you don't act like a doormat in the process. 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Labor Day Weekend 2015

Labor Day Weekend

 The past four weeks, especially the Labor Day weekend, brought in a gold rush of bachelorette parties for me. This past weekend alone netted eight parties, two of which I had to turn down. All of this action left me little time to update the blog. 

So without further ado, here are some highlights of recent shows:

Extra Tip Money

The bride at my last party was very reserved and asked me to interact with her friends instead. She relaxed after a while once she realized I wasn't going to disrespect her boundaries.

I stayed and talked with the girls. One of them thought I was so nice to them that she actually started crying. I cannot remember what I had said that she found touching.

Nonetheless, she packed me some food to go, and when I got home and counted the tip money, I realized that someone had thrown in an extra $75 without my knowledge. I smiled at that extra kind gesture (and I must remember to send them another message of gratitude).

Party of Three

Three ladies, around thirty years of age, got together to celebrate a bachelorette party. One of them, a very beautiful blonde, took pics of the whole thing and sent them to her husband.

His response to his wife, "Have fun and go make some bad decisions."

He also told her to get my number so I could strip for her and her friends again.

They seemed like a happy and interesting couple.

The Bachelorette Party + One Guy

Before I arrived, the customers asked if I was okay about a gay guy attending the bachelorette party. I told them it didn't matter. The truth is that young straight guys are more likely to cause problems and pick fights in this situation.

Well, the guy here turned out to be quite a boon for my performance. He encouraged the girls to "get slutty" with me, and shamed them when they shied away or refused to participate. He was also the person who provided all the tip money for me.


Sometimes all it takes is one girl to ruin an otherwise great party. 

The other women, especially the bride, her mother, sister, and aunt, seemed to enjoy my show. I made my rounds with them, and received good-natured cheers and laughs in return.

Then came Snooty’s turn.

She was an attractive girl other than the fact that her facial features continuously scrunched together to form a snooty and snobbish look (thus her nickname). When the other girls pointed her out to me, I instantly knew that she was going to be difficult. She leaned away and regarded me with obvious disdain. The peer pressure of her friends was the only thing that detained her on the couch. Upon my approach, someone handed her a wad of ones, which she took, but refused to tip me.

“Go somewhere else,” she said, then pointed to an empty corner. “Go dance for that person in the corner.” 

At first I thought she was teasing me. There was no person in the corner. The scathing expression on her face said otherwise. I decided from that point to ignore her for the duration of the party. Calling her out in front of everyone would make me look like the instigator and vindicate her abrasive behavior.

While I circulated the room, Snooty continued lobbing snarky comments at me. I couldn’t hear what exactly she was saying because the music was too loud. Judging by her tone, however, I knew it wasn’t anything nice. I pretended that I didn’t hear anything and focused on another game with the bride. Even then, Snooty's demeanor poisoned the atmosphere of the party. A few of the other girls shifted uncomfortably in their seats at her comments.

For the finale, I licked cake icing off the bride’s sister and aunt (per the bride’s request). After that, the aunt handed me another wad of dollar bills and said, “Keep it! You’ve done an awesome job.”

I politely refused, but she insisted. After all, I did cut the party much shorter than normal because of Snooty.

I went to the bathroom to change into a different outfit since I had another show afterwards. There was a few dollar bills scattered on the floor, loose ones that fell out of my thong. I left them with the intention of picking them up after changing, if someone hadn't already done it for me by then.

While I was changing, I heard two women talking outside the door. The voices were muffled, yet it sounded like one was scolding the other. When I finished, I opened the door and saw the aunt and Snooty waiting outside. Snooty was holding the stack of one-dollar bills, appearing very reluctant and awkward.

“You left some of your money on the floor,” the aunt said, shooting Snooty a fierce look. “Go on, give it to him.”

“I feel weird doing this,” Snooty said. She appeared on the verge of handing them money to me, but changed her mind and thrust them into the aunt's hands instead. Then she rushed past me into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind her.

The aunt rolled her eyes in disgust.

I nodded in understanding and placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. “Thank you, again.”

As I walked out of the condo, there was one lingering thought on my mind: I felt sorry for poor sap who would marry Snooty.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Do Looks Really Matter to Women?

I received a few e-mails regarding my last post in reference to looks. To sum them all up, the many of the messages basically asked:

Don't women judge men by looks first?

One reader even supplemented a link where one guy from a popular forum used several pictures of a Calvin Klein model for his Tinder account, and immediately received many matches. He'd say the stupidest shit and still get phone numbers.

So to answer your questions, everyone judges by looks first. However, men often judge themselves with these guidelines:

  • I rank about a "5" in the face (on a scale of 1 - 10).
  • I'm x height.
  • I'm y weight.
  • I'm average build.
  • I have an x - inch cock.
Women don't rate men the same way. In an article called How Women Perceive Attractiveness by Dr. Christakis and Dr. Fowler, women rated men on attractiveness based on photographs. The study observed that women found men more attractive based on certain social factors. For example, when a man was with another woman, he was rated higher. When a man was with multiple women, he was rated higher.

In addition, a similar study by John M. Townsend demonstrated that status attire had a profound effect on women's attractiveness ratings towards men. Basically men who wear trashy clothes gott rated lower. Men who wore nicer clothes got rated higher.

So what does this say about women?

Women don't view your rating of a "5" in the same way. Even if you do rank as a "5" physically, you can increase her perception of you through your body language, your clothing, your social standing, job, how you act and what you say.

If you think your self-worth to women is limited to your "5" rating, then you limit only yourself with your insecurity.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Playing the Hand You're Dealt

I always appreciate e-mails from readers, even if I'm extremely busy and don't have time to respond to them all in a timely manner. Just know that your e-mails and comments give me the motivation to write books and continually update this blog.

That said, I try to respond to all e-mails no matter what. However, I recently received an interesting e-mail that was difficult to answer, as it reminded me painfully of my younger days in high school where I was socially inept and faced repeated frustrations when it came to dating.

Here's the message from Jim (not his actual name, but that's what we'll use to keep him anonymous):

Hey Dion,

I have been reading your blog for quite some time now. I really enjoyed your book too. It has been amusing and informative at the same time. It's nice to read about your wild experience and imagine that lifestyle.

The question I want to ask is if you get rejected a lot when approaching women or dating. You seem like you are good at talking to girls so you're the ideal person to ask.

I get rejected all the time. I'm 28 and have a good job. I'm not handsome at all and a bit on the chubby side. Sometimes I wonder what's the point in even trying to date if girls don't find me attractive. I feel that if you're not born with good looks then you have it tough.

I was wondering if good looking guys go through hardships as well. Is there any advice you can give me on how to deal with this?

Thank you in advance.

Dion's Response:

Dear Jim,

It's really difficult to give you advice without me standing there in person to gauge your situation. However, I will said this: Life is like a game of poker.

We're all dealt a hand of cards when we're born. Some of the more fortunate players in life receive a superior hand: royal flush, four-of-a-kind, or a full house. These people are either born with wealth, good-looks, high intelligence, extra privileges, or a combination of each.

Those less fortunate may not even get a pair of matching cards. They are born into poverty, less desirable physical appeal, lower intelligence, fewer privileges, or a combination of such.

The one thing that real life and poker have in common is that you can succeed even with a bad hand. Even without a pair. Poor people have become wealthy. Unattractive people have become more attractive. Simple-minded people formed flourishing businesses.

From the sounds of it, Jim, you might not have been dealt the best hand, but you have a decent job now and that's a good start. So run with that hand. You can improve your appearance by exercising, eating better, and improving your hygiene. You can spice up your personality by taking on new interests and experiencing new things.

It's all on what you decide to do with your hand. The only thing you must never do is give up. That's what the losers of the game do. They bitch and gripe about their lot in life.

Even some players with the best hand -- the ones born with wealth, good looks, etc. -- squander their luck with bad decisions. I've seen people attractive people destroy their appearance with reckless habits, rich people blow all their money with nothing to show, and intelligent people whittle their talents on frivolous pursuits.

So you're not the best looking guy in town. You don't have to be. I'm not, either. Not all girls find me attractive, you know. But I constantly try to improve myself, whether it's exercising, enhancing my standard of living, reading something new to gain more knowledge, or learning a new skill. As long as you're a quality work in progress, somebody out there will take an interest. I've attained more success with women because I strive to maintain a constant state of improvement.

That's the interesting thing about life and poker. The outcome depends on your ability to make smart decisions, and maybe some luck here and there. You're not always going to win at something, but you increase your chances when you have the right attitude.