7 Unattractive Traits that Women Find in Men

After working over a decade in the industry I’ve picked up a few things that women tend to like and dislike in men. If you're one of those guys out there having trouble getting a girlfriend or snagging a date, then you probably carry at least one of the traits listed below:

Unattractive Male Trait 1: Insecurity

Insecurity encompasses several things: a need to prove oneself, irrational jealousy, or a constant desire to be over-protective. Each one can turn a girl off faster than a wet fart during oral sex. 

If you feel the need to wrap your arms around her each time another man looks in her direction, then chances are that you're insecure. If you feel the need to interrogate her for greeting the grocery store clerk, then chances are that you're insecure. If you feel the need to demonstrate how much superior you are to other men around her, then chances are that you're insecure.

So relax. You cannot control everything. Just be in control of yourself.

Unattractive Male Trait 2: Boring Personality

Counteract this with a sense of humor. Women love men who make them laugh. A man who can laugh with his friends often looks like a fun person to be around. No one wants to hang around those who are always so serious and uptight.

Unattractive Male Trait 3: Bragging

So you make a lot of money, drive a fancy car, lift more than everyone at the gym, and date supermodels… and you must tell the whole world. Impress them with your wealth, power, and achievements. Guess what? Most people will nod along politely, but they really don't care (unless they're after your money). 

The more you brag about how much you have, the more she shakes her head and rolls her eyes in disgust, especially when you’re too busy talking about yourself to ask about her. Employ some modesty and use your time to get to know her. If you really are a great catch, have loads of money, a nice house, and a great job, then she can ask about it on her own if she's interested in you. You don't need to bore her ears off with your boasting. Just remember: bragging is another way for men to conceal their boring personalities and insecurities.

Unattractive Male Trait 4: Not Taking Care of Oneself

Women like men who smell good and take care of themselves. If you resemble an obese slob who never uses deodorant and wears tattered clothes, then you’re probably not going to find a date.

"But, but... What about my awesome personality?" you say. 

What about it? Do you think that beautiful woman who spends all that time putting on makeup, doing her hair, getting her nails done, and applying lotion all over her skin so it's silky smooth wants a man who doesn’t give a shit about his appearance and hygiene? You don’t have to be a Calvin Klein underwear model, but it doesn’t hurt to exercise and maintain proper hygiene.

The same applies for your household habits. Nothing screams “disgusting” to a woman than a man who leaves his dirty socks, underwear, and dinner plates scattered about his living quarters. Clean up after yourself, because you're not going to attract any women if you dwell in a pig sty.

Unattractive Male Trait 5: Lack of Proper Etiquette

You don't need to show up on a white horse dressed as a knight, but acting as a gentleman won't hurt once in a while. Open the door for her when you're out on a date. If she's carrying something heavy, offer to carry it in her stead. Don't let her walk back to her car alone through that dark alley. 

Women like to feel safe and respected, not ditched and neglected.

Unattractive Male Trait 6: No Ambition

Most women are attracted to men who have a passion in life about goals, ideas, and things to achieve. These things can center around hobbies, activities, your job, or projects at home. Either way, you should be a constant work in progress.

Women find men who have no drive or motivation to be repulsive. So for those of you who are unemployed and sitting at your parents' house playing video games all day, you might want to get up off your ass and do something productive. Otherwise, you'd better get used to watching porn the rest of your life.


Unattractive Male Trait 7: The Ungenuine Nice Guy

You're only nice to that girl because you want her. You sacrifice your self-worth in order to please her. You buy her gifts and attend to her every need. Yet, whenever she dates another man instead of you, you become furious and spiteful. 

The kindness of the Ungenuine Nice Guy is conditional, extending only to the object of his desire at that current moment. This trait is not only unattractive to most women, but it puts them on their guard. Moreover, this is a very unhealthy approach to dating because it involves placing your happiness in someone else.

 It's great to be nice as long as it's authentic and you don't act like a doormat in the process. 

Chapter 7: Physical Requirements

*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.  


Previous chapter: click here

 

Looks are subjective. The idea of beauty changes from person to person. Most companies in this industry don’t expect a “perfect 10,” but standards certainly exist. When a group of girls hire a male stripper, they usually want a man that is above average in both body and face. You must have the muscularity and the facial aesthetics to satisfy the majority of your customers.

When I say “satisfy the majority of your customers,” that ranges from the sorority house to a group of wealthy housewives to young professionals. Your girlfriend’s opinion is not an accurate reflection of what the industry is looking for. I get a lot of e-mails from guys who have a six-pack, but are rail-thin and weigh 140 lbs. They claim that they want to become male strippers because their girlfriends said they have the body for it, or their friends think they “have what it takes.”

To understand what the industry wants, do a quick search on the internet for companies offering male strippers in your area. Browse through those photos. See all of those muscular and good looking guys? Yeah, that's your competition. If they look better than you, chances are, they are going to get more work than you.

If you're going to be a male stripper, you're entering a contest. It's a competition where there is only one winner, and your prize is performing at the bachelorette party. Your pictures on a booking company's website are the first things the customer will judge you by. They don’t know your personality or entertainment value; just your picture.

Here’s a list of physical characteristics that you should have:

Muscularity – You don’t have to be a bodybuilder, but don’t be a stick either. Be sure to work out your legs too, because chicken legs holding up your massive torso looks stupid. You’ll want to sculpt your body to have a symmetrical display of muscle mass. So: how muscular or how lean should you be, you ask? The answer really depends on your height and body type.

Below is a chart on an ideal (but not absolute) height to weight ratio:

5'8" to 5'9" tall - 165 to 175 lbs
5'10" to 5'11" tall - 170 to 190 lbs
6'0" to 6'1" tall - 185 to 205 lbs
6'2" to 6'3" tall - 195 to 215 lbs
6'4" to 6'5" tall - 210 to 225 lbs

This chart is not absolute. However, it should tell you one thing: If you’re 6’1”, weighing 160 lbs. probably means you’re too fucking skinny for the job. Spend some time in the gym and build some muscle mass before applying.

Abdominal Muscles – Very important. If the human body is an “X,” the abdominal muscles represent the center of the “X.” They become the center of attention when your shirt comes off, so be sure to have some blocky abs instead of flab. The more muscular types can fudge this a little bit, but make sure you don’t have a gut overhanging your pants, or the “fatty abs,” which mean that your abs are visible, yet obscured and soft looking due to the layer of body fat surrounding them.

Handsome Facial Features – You don’t have to be the hottest guy in your town, but you need to have some degree of good looks. Having a universally attractive face helps a lot.

For guys who inherited the unfortunate results of the genetic lottery, you cannot help how your face is shaped. Some people are born with great facial features, while others struggle with their flaws. The good news is that you don’t need the perfect face to climb your way into this industry as long as your other features compensate for your facial shortcomings.

Your personality and how you carry yourself can increase your attractiveness with women. Facial expressions make a huge difference. Wearing a confident smile will have a better effect on customers than scowling all the time. Practice in the mirror and determine which expressions make you look best. Take a lot of pictures of yourself holding different smiles and looks, and solicit honest feedback from peers as to which make you the best looking.

Good teeth – You must have good teeth. Nice, straight, white teeth. If you have a chipped front tooth, stained teeth, or missing teeth, look elsewhere for employment. Male stripping requires good dental care, and good dental care leads to great smiles, which lead to a more attractive appearance.

Height – The ideal height starts at 5’10 (177 cm) and goes upward from there, at least in North America. The Chippendales’ minimum height requirement is 5’10. Many companies prefer six feet or taller. Height is one of the most common complaints about male strippers—customers want their men to be tall. For you short guys out there, you better outshine your competition in other areas to make up for the lack of height. Even then, a company will rarely take an applicant who is 5’7 or shorter. Even 5’9 and 5’10 is cutting it close.

Penis size – It’s not important. Period.

Companies look at your whole package of looks, personality, and work experience when reviewing you as a candidate, not the package below your belly button. At most shows, including male revues, you’re not going to show your cock off unless a ravenous female rips your thong off. There is nudity in this business at certain times and certain places, but you’re not being paid any extra for the size of your dick.

The only thing penis size can offer the customer in this business is novelty. A male stripper with a big dick is like a female stripper with big tits. The large breasts may catch extra attention or offer another asset to the customer, but if the woman is hideous, her tits won’t matter. The same goes for men. Women don’t want to pay to see a fat slob with a big cock. They’d rather have a good-looking hunk with an average cock. A cock is a novelty that can only enhance the entire package, but not sustain its entirety alone.

Forget about penis size. Don’t send agents pictures of your dick. Don’t even talk about it unless asked.

Overall, you don’t have to be perfect, but you have to have a marketable look. I have seen guys with average faces pull off work because they have great bodies, and vice-versa.

Keep in mind that you can change a lot about your physical appearance through exercise, diet, good posture, haircut, and hygiene. Just because you don’t have the minimum physical requirements now doesn’t mean that you can’t change a few things about yourself and come back later. Even for those of you who are already well-built and good-looking, there is always room for improvement.

As a male stripper, you’re a product that is going on a store shelf. Customers will browse you along with many others before they make a purchase. Try to make sure you’re the best quality item on the shelf. Otherwise, they will pass you over and pay for somebody else. That’s why meeting the physical requirements is a major priority. 

Nutritional Guidelines

Nutrition is where most people flounder when it comes to building and maintaining a good physique. You can have the best training program, get adequate rest, even take “supplements,” and still not get the body you desire. While you don’t necessarily have to undergo the strict diet that a bodybuilder endures when prepping for a competition, you should make healthy eating a lifestyle habit instead of a temporary trend.

Below are the top guidelines to adhere by:

Eat 4 to 6 meals a day. Your body burns energy throughout the day. Eat frequently to accelerate metabolism and maintain steady energy levels throughout the day.

Plan meals ahead of time. Sounds simple, but most people don’t do this and end up binging on junk food when they get hungry simply because there is nothing else around to eat. Purchase plastic storage containers and a cooler to store and carry your food. Having a nutritious meal within reach throughout your day keeps you on track with healthy eating.

Drinks a lot of water. Some people suggest 10 glasses, others suggest more. You need to stay well hydrated with intensive training. If you drink coffee or tea, drink more water to compensate for the diuretic effect of caffeine.

Portion sizes matter. Someone once told me that a “clenched fist” is the appropriate portion size per meal. Don’t go to the buffet and eat a bucket load of food. Obesity is an epidemic because people often equate more as better. In terms of nutrition, the key is getting enough of it, but in moderation.

Combine carbohydrates and protein at every meal. Our bodies work better with a balanced combination of carbs and protein. Protein is essential for building muscle and maintaining a strong immune system. It also reduces your appetite. Carbohydrates fuels your body with energy. Both compliment your training regime.

Aim for Consistency. Diets are fads. Look at most people who do the Atkins Diet, or the South Beach Diet. They quit after a while. Make your nutritional intake a habit. Always buy the healthy foods. Always prepare your meals in advance. Before long, you’ll become accustomed to eating healthy without making any conscious effort to.

Dion's Resolutions For Male Strippers

A male stripper's new year resolutions for 2014.




Aspiring Male Stripper Resolutions

• I will train to build a better body.
• I will eat a healthy diet to attain an ideal physique.
• I will improve my dancing abilities, even if I think I know how to dance.
• I will groom myself and maintain the highest standards of hygiene.
• I will start a portfolio of professional pictures of myself, so I have something to send to employers.
• I will have my own cell phone and GPS.
• I will have my own music player accompanied by a setlist of good dance songs.
• I will put together at least two different costumes.
• I will buy some sexy underwear for stripping.
• I will contact at least three different employers for work.
• I will listen to criticism.

Professional Male Stripper Resolutions

• I will maintain or improve my work-out routine, diet, and physique.
• I will practice my dance routine and look for ways to improve it.
• I will continue to look my best, never slacking because I have achieved success.
• I will learn to perform and speak in public, even if I think I already know how.
• I will check out different employers to learn about other opportunities out there.
• I will treat my current employer(s) with respect because they provide me with work.
• I will give my customers the best service that I can.
• I will put together another costume and/or improve the ones I already have.
• I will create business cards and network with local limo services, party buses, event organizers, or any other possible venues that may require a male stripper.
• I will update my portfolio if necessary.
• I will abstain from activities and substances that are detrimental to my health and physique.
• I will not be envious of others, nor compare myself to my peers.
• I will be amiable, enthusiastic, and professional.
• I will not boast, brag, or gloat about my profession.
• I will always remember where I came from.
• I will strive to learn other skills and knowledge in life, because I know that I cannot strip forever.

Updated FAQ

I updated the FAQ page. You can also click the navigational bar at the top of the page to access all of my frequently asked questions. I recommend that all new readers check it out, especially those who want to become male strippers.

Below are some of the newer questions:

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Q: What do you plan to do when you get old and ugly?

A:  Set new goals and reach them. Read more. Vacation. Indulge my hobbies. My happiness does not revolve around looking young and getting laid.

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 Q: You write about hooking up with bachelorettes. It's your responsibility to stop them from cheating. Why would you do such a thing?

A: Why would they do such a thing? It's their responsibility not to cheat. Besides, most of these girls are the sexual aggressors. My job is to show up, strip, and give the girls a good time; not babysit someone's morality.

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Q:  What kind of women do male strippers like? (example: bigger, petite, fit, etc.)

A:   It really depends on the male stripper. Some guys like bigger girls. Some like petite. Others like fitness models. The occupation does not determine one's personal tastes.

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Q:  When is your book on male stripping going to come out?

A:  I'm projecting sometime in that latter part of 2014. I will definitely post more details and updates as progress comes along.

Workout Routine

Being a male stripper requires one to stay in relatively good physical shape in the very least, so exercise is very important. Many readers ask me what I do to stay in shape, or if I take supplements or go on specific diets, so I'm here to explain that I simply go to the gym, lift weights, eat healthy, and get adequate rest.

If you want to have a good body, you're going to have to put in some hard work at the gym to get it. No magic pill, diet, or special exercise tool will sculpt the perfect body for you. You're going to have to break a sweat to get there. Your training must remain consistent, meaning you can't just go to the gym for two months and expect a complete transformation. I spent years of consistent training and not giving up. In addition to that, I work out on days that I'm exhausted, moody, or busy. Even when I work over 60 hours a week, I make time for the gym no matter what, even if that means catching a quick 20 minute session of a shoulder workout at home.

My goal is to maintain an aesthetic and symmetrical muscularity while minimizing body fat, therefore I incorporated a bodybuilding routine as my workout. A bodybuilding workout places primary focus on aesthetic appeal rather than strength, speed, building a good core, or endurance. Of course, the latter can develop as a result of a bodybuilding regime, but the main goal is to look good naked in front of an audience.

I tend to switch out my routine to avoid hitting a physical plateau, or just to avoid boredom. I don't always do chest and back on Mondays followed by legs on the next training day. Sometimes I'll train back with legs. Therefore, I'll list several sample routines that I rotate. 

Sample routine 1:

 Workout # 1 (Chest, Shoulders, Triceps):

-Chest Warm Up (Fly's or pushups)
-Incline Bench (barbell or dumbbells)  x 4  repetitions
-Decline Bench (barbell or dumbbells)  x 4  repetitions
-Fly's (machine or dumbbells) x 4 repetitions

-Rear deltoids x 4 repetitions  (I train rear deltoids first because these are often neglected. Here's a link of a rear deltoid workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf2fVCtcbhA)
-Upright rows (barbell or dumbbells)  x 4  repetitions
  or
 Front Raises (dumbbells) x repetitions
-Side raises (dumbbells or cable machine) x 5 repetitions

-Pullovers (machine or dumbell) x 4 repetitions
-Tricep extension x 4 repetitions
  or
-Skullcrushers x 4 repetitions

-Calf Raises x 8 repetitions

 Workout #2 (Legs):

-Squats x 5 repetitions (do leg press if you have a bad back)
-straight leg deadlift or good-mornings x 5 repetitions
-Leg extensions x 3 repetitions
-Leg curls x 3 repetitions
-Abdominal workout x 5 repetitions
-cardio

Workout #3 (Back, Biceps):

-Bent over rows x 6 repetitions
  or
-Cable rows x 6 repetitions
-Pull downs or pull ups x 5 repetitions
-Lower back extensions x 4 repetitions

-barbell curls x 4 repetitions
-dumbbell or cable curls x 3 repetitions
-forearm workout

-Calf Raises x 8 repetitions

After workout #3, take a break from weight lifting for a day or two and repeat the routine. Doing cardio or staying active on rest days is fine.


Sample Routine 2:

Workout #1 (Push Muscle Day):

-Squats x 5 repetitions
-Leg extensions x 3 repetitions
-Incline bench x 3 repetitions 
-decline bench x 3 repetitions
-pullovers x 3 repetitions
-front raises x 3 repetitions
-side raises x 4 repetitions
-rear deltoids exercise x 3 repetitions
-triceps extension x 5 repetitions
-calf raises x 5 repetitions

Workout #2 (Pull Muscle Day):

-straight leg deadlifts or good-mornings x 5 repetitions
-leg curls (machine) x 3 repetitions
-cable rows x 4 repetitions
-pulldowns (machine) or pull ups x 4 repetitions
-lower back extensions x 4 repetitions
-straight bar bicep curl x 4 repetitions
-isolated dumbbell curl x 3 repetitions
-forearms exercise x 3 repetitions
-abdominal exercise x 4 repetitions
-calf raises x 5 repetitions

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My routine is not the ultimate routine or perfect. It's actually very basic and prone to change depending who I'm working out with or how often I'm hitting the gym. I'm simply sharing due to requests. If you're interested in developing a routine, I strongly suggest that you research your own routines, especially ones that better suited to your style and goals. Here are two books that I found to be valuable:

- Sliced by Bill Reynolds and Negrita Jayde (thanks to the Abdominator for letting me borrow it)
- The Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding by Arnold Schwarzenegger

Advice: Building Yourself

Occasionally, some requests will come my way asking how to get girls. Being the guy that started at the bottom of the totem pole, I try to offer helpful advice in any way I can. 

Chance, another male stripper, commented on one of my posts about taking responsibility and building yourself for better. In fact, his comment summed up the reality of getting girls better than anything I can conjure up. Below is the following comment he posted:

A man becomes attractive to a woman when he is passionate about something. A man must make his life mission his top priority before and above a woman.

This is to say: If you are finding ways to consistently better yourself; women will become attracted to the project in motion, not necessarily the end result.

You can start by doing this many ways: 

- Hit the gym (health, physique, confidence)
- Start a business (Money, status)
- Create style in your wardrobe (Status, style)
- Restore an old car to new condition
- etc, etc.

The whole point here is you are doing something that you are passionate about and it will help you grow as a person. More importantly, a woman will see that she is not your top priority and will fight for that position; although subconsciously she doesn't want to be top rung on your ladder.

Poster #1 has a typical loser mentality with "Dion has muscles, so he can get girls with a snap of his fingers". (Shake my head)

This further proves my point. What is Dion doing that you aren't poster #1? He is hitting the gym 3+ times a week as well as watching his diet.

If you knew that muscles attract women, wouldn't you hit the gym as well? No, you wouldn't.

If you knew money attracted women, wouldn't you attempt a business or further your education in hopes of climbing the corporate ladder? Probably not.

I am also a male stripper and can tell you that I am approached 10 fold while stripping because all of my qualities are on display (Muscular, confident, socially adept, money oriented, etc.) - It is not the title of a male stripper that truly turns women on; it is the qualities associated with such a task that make their pussy tingle. Not to mention other girls going crazy for you - women are way more competitive than men.

Bottom Line - Make your mission your priority, not women. If you build it (Yourself), they will come (bitches).

Chance made some great points. When I first started stripping, I was just a college student who attended school full-time, lived in an apartment, had little life experience with no other extravagant qualities. Even though I was a young, 21 year old stripper, I wasn't getting even a fraction of them women that approach me now that I'm 31 years old. Throughout the years, I became a teacher, worked in accounting, publishing, etc. I have a good full-time job now, a house, savings, investments, no debt, and even more goals to propel myself forward. It's not just the fact that I have money, assets, and a good life that women find attractive. It's the motivation, drive, aspirations, and the ability to take care of myself that lures them.

Setting goals and standards garnish respect and admiration. When you achieve those goals, set new ones and increase your standards. For example, I still train to further improve my body. I strive to learn more skills to better myself. I constantly improve my house and the condition of my life. 

 A lot of people refuse to improve themselves, resigning to a fate of mediocrity and sloth. For instance, take the obese guy who refuses to go to the gym, giving up on the prospects of improving his own physical health and appearance. Instead, he goes to the nearest buffet and stuffs himself. Another example lies in the starving artist college student. He takes out a huge student loan and gets a degree in art, creative writing, music, or philosophy, then he finds out he can't do shit with the degree afterwards and whines about needing government handouts because he can't earn any money. What he should have done was learn other skills or trades that would have earned him a spot in the work force. Hell, if it came down to earning money, I would scrub toilets for a living if I had to. What's sad is that a huge number of people promote a lazy attitude when it comes to advancing themselves in life.

So instead of lamenting about what you don't have in life, look for ways to improve yourself. Like Chance said, "if you build it, they will come." This quote not only applies for getting women, but for general success in life.