For those who are interested in the book, I've posted several chapters from it on this blog and will post several more in the future.
You can view the list here: How to Become a Male Stripper
Just scroll down until you get to the list and check back for more chapters.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Chapter 4: Getting Started (as a Male Stripper)
*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.
Previous chapter: click here
Previous chapter: click here
I get e-mails all the
time from guys wanting to jump into this profession, thinking they’ll bang
multiple girls at each party while the money rains down on them. Some even
think that stripping will provide them enough income to pay for college along
with their monthly bills. And don’t get me started on the misconceptions. Porn
sites out show male strippers having orgies with multiple girls at the strip
club, taking turns boning several models bareback before shooting a big load on
their faces… Yeah, that’s porn.
(Though
it is possible!)
That
doesn’t necessarily mean that fantasies become reality in this line of work. There
are plenty of opportunities for money and women (or men if that is your
preference), and a savvy male stripper can make out like a bandit with both.
It’s
not a perfect occupation though. Even after working in the industry for a
while, many men start complaining: the women were mean; working on weekends sucks;
driving everywhere sucks; the employer takes a big cut of the money.
The
bottom line is that stripping is a job, and every job has its fair share of
bullshit. I’ll list the drawbacks below so you can determine whether or not
this is the path for you.
Drawback
#1: Working Weekends
That means Friday and
Saturday nights, so get ready to say “goodbye” to your social life. This job
will be your new social life.
Most
customers plan their parties on the weekends since that is when they have off
work. So about 95% of the time, you will work either Friday or Saturday night.
During
spring and summer, your employer will have work for you just about every Friday
and Saturday night if you’re near a big city or a hot tourist resort where
people go to have bachelorette parties and special events. I hope you didn’t
have any plans to go out with friends or family because that’s not likely going
to happen during peak season with this job.
If
you continuously turn down work because you want to hang out with your friends
or go on a date during the weekends, expect your employer to book another stripper
in your place. And the next time a party becomes available, the other guy will
have first priority because he is more reliable than you are.
Drawback
#2: Last Minute Bookings
Imagine making plans to
go out to dinner with your girlfriend at a nice restaurant. It’s 6 p.m., and
you two sit down and order something to eat when suddenly your cell phone
rings. It’s your booking agent. There’s a bachelorette party at 9 p.m. Do you
want to do it?
Well,
you can probably finish dinner, but you’re not going to get laid afterwards.
Your girlfriend will be mad if you take the show because you ruined the date
night, and your employer will be disappointed if you cannot take the show
because you’re costing him the sale.
This
scenario happens a lot. Parties book strippers at the last minute all the time.
Sometimes, another stripper cancels just prior to his show, so your employer
wants you to go in his stead.
Last
minute bookings always happen on the same day, hours before the show. Sometimes
they are impossible to make on time, and the booking company will be understanding.
They sometimes even charge more for last minute shows. Companies love male
strippers who are available because that’s more money for the company.
Male
strippers who are always available get first dibs for parties on the roster.
Drawback
#3: Travel
Whether you strip at
private parties or onstage at a male revue, expect to travel—a lot.
Chippendales
and other similar male revue strippers go on long tours where they travel from
city to city, with long periods away from home. Homesickness is a common malady
on the road. Some of these guys live in hotels, sharing rooms with coworkers.
They rarely get their own space, and they sit on a tour bus or plane for hours
at a time.
The
other groups of touring strippers live with fewer luxuries. Most have to use
their own modes of transportation, which is money out of their pockets.
Sometimes, the money they earn from the male revue fails to cover the travel
expenses, making the event a waste of time from a financial standpoint. At the
very worst, some of these guys sleep in their own vehicles.
Private
party strippers often have it the easiest, but they still do a lot of travel.
They drive (or take public transportation) directly to the location of the
event, which can be minutes away or several hours away. Traveling costs time,
money, and puts wear and tear on the stripper’s vehicle.
While
the idea of travel may sound like a novelty—see new sights and try new
things—being on the road all the time starts to suck before long.
Drawback
#4: Unstable Income
If you think you’re
going to get rich doing this job, think again. Male strippers share one major
thing in common with firefighters—they both usually work other jobs to earn a
living.
Sometimes,
I go weeks without work, and at other times, I do nothing but hop from party to
party.
As
mentioned earlier, most parties fall on Fridays or Saturdays. The spring and
summer times are the peak season. Work starts to dwindle when everyone
hibernates for the winter.
No
parties means no income. That’s a jagged pill to swallow for those looking for
easy money. At least you know what you’ll get with other jobs that offer a set
salary and set work hours. Working as a male stripper is a surprise each and
every time. You can go to a bachelorette party anticipating $100 in tips and
walk away with less than $10.
The
exception lies with touring acts such as Chippendales, who make a steady salary
and have a constant workload. Male strip clubs also present a normal schedule
at a fixed location, but their success and the success of their employees
depend on the flow of customers coming in and out of the establishment.
Living
in a big city that has a large demand for male strippers is a big plus, along
with living near a place where people congregate with extra money to waste, but
expect fierce competition from other guys.
Drawback
#5: Pension and benefits
It ain’t happening.
Drawback
#6: Competition
Male stripping is a
highly competitive job. The better guy gets the work. Better involves a number
of factors: looks, muscles, reliability, work ethic, stage presence, costumes,
etc.
This
is a dream job for most men. Who loves to be the center of attention in front
of a room of hot girls? I’m sure just about every straight guy out there would
raise his hand. As a result, the sheer number of applicants for this job is
overwhelming. The supply of wannabe male strippers far surpasses the demand for
them. That’s why booking companies want to hire the best guy to send out to
customers, not the most average.
What
baffles me is the number of guys who send me e-mails with pics asking if
they’re eligible to become male strippers. Most of the time, these guys have
abs, but are rail thin. Sometimes, they have some muscle mass, but hold too
much body fat. Take a look at a male stripping booking website. Those guys have
good muscle mass and look like models. They are the competition. If you look
like shit standing next to those guys, then you probably aren’t qualified for
this job, even if your girlfriend says you’re the hottest stud in town.
The
same thing happens at male revues. The best looking and most charismatic guys
get the money while the least attractive guys get ignored. It can be
demoralizing if you’re at the bottom of the totem pole.
Drawback
#7: Social Repercussions
Do you work a
professional day job? Are you part of the church choir? Would word of your job
getting out to the public damage your reputation with your community, friends,
or family? If so, you might want to consider if the risks are worth it.
Drawback
#8: Muscular Maintenance
Do you like to eat junk
food, or go out drinking on the weekends? Do you have a sweet tooth? Do you
hate lifting weights on a regular basis? If so, then this job is not for you.
Developing
and maintaining a muscular body requires discipline and good eating and
training habits. In other words, it can be a pain in the ass.
You
might be one of those lucky guys who can cram anything down their throats and
not gain an ounce of fat while maintaining muscle mass. Hell, I was one of
those guys in my early 20s. However, most people cannot. Metabolism slows with
age, so even the young guys who shrug off their bad habits tend to pay later in
life. The male strippers who like to drink, party, and eat whatever on a
regular basis don’t last in the field very long. Once they pack on the pounds
and lose muscle definition, the women start complaining.
Most
normal human beings need to be highly dedicated to good training and nutrition
in order to develop a ripped, muscular body and keep it. This requires a
sacrifice of time and effort in the gym and kitchen, not to mention forsaking heavy
drinking and drugs. Healthy living can be boring. The abundance of junk food,
alcohol, and laziness in our society means job security for a male stripper. Therefore,
you must always strive to maintain an ideal physical condition, as there are
other ripped and willing guys ready to take your place should you falter and
become flabby.
Drawback
#9: Relationships
Being a male stripper
and a good boyfriend/fiancé/husband at the same time is hard, especially when
you’re young and horny. Opportunity and temptation lurk at every corner in the
guise of eager girls in their prime wearing tantalizing perfume and provocative
clubbing attire that draw your attention like a tractor beam. Every party can
become a test of faithfulness and virtue for a stripper in a relationship.
Relationships
are one of the top reasons most guys quit this job, according to my booking
agents.
A
good male stripper either stays single, or has an extremely open-minded
girlfriend who doesn’t mind the fact that he comes in close physical contact
with many women on a weekly basis.
I’d
even go as far to suggest getting a bi-sexual girlfriend who encourages you to
bring home cute girls from your work, but that’s just me.
Quitting
this job at the start of each relationship and reapplying for it again at the
end of said relationship is a great way to get you on the blacklist of male
stripping booking companies. Nobody wants a flaky employee who changes
direction depending on where the wind of his relationship is blowing.
Drawback
#10: Bad Customers
Ever worked as a waiter?
Imagine the table full of difficult customers who piss and moan about their
drinks not having enough ice, or there wasn’t enough salad dressing on the
salad, or salt on the fries. No matter what you do to please them, they find
something else to scold you about. Next, they want to complain to the manager
about how much of a shithead you are even though you did everything in your
power to please them. Well, strippers get bad customers too, and having a room
full of pissed off women griping at you while you’re wearing nothing but a
thong is very uncomfortable. You’re in their place alone, and there is no
manager or coworker to bail you out. Have fun in the coop of angry hens pecking
at you!
Bad
customers come in all forms. They can be insulting and rude. Sometimes they are
demanding or too aggressive. They may try to micromanage your routine, or
refuse to participate. Maybe these customers try to grope you beyond your level
of comfort. Sometimes they are downright disrespectful. For instance, during
one of my shows, the bachelorette took a silicone dildo and attempted to slap
me in the face with it, just because she thought it was funny. I didn’t think
it was funny at all.
Bad
customers tend to be drunk in addition to obnoxious, so they’ll try things that
a sober person wouldn’t normally do. Their actions are worse in a private party
setting where the whole crowd is removed from the public eye.
These
situations are demoralizing, and can devastate a newbie. Even veteran male
strippers run into bad customers from time to time. It’s part of the job. If
you get your feelings hurt easily, then look for employment somewhere else.
Drawback
#11: Dangerous Situations
Believe it or not, male
stripping has its dangers, but this usually isn’t due to the customers. It’s
from other men.
Some
bookings may have a male stripper perform at a public venue such as a bar or
club where there are men in the establishment. They usually aren’t with the
party who booked the male stripper, but just happened to be present. Sometimes
these guys get pissed because you’re getting all the attention with the women
in the club, while they’re sitting in a corner getting drunk alone, so they
think that taking out their aggression on the stripper will solve all their problems,
or at least make them feel better.
In
other situations, one of the girls at your party may have a boyfriend, fiancé,
or husband who is upset because you touched his woman, even if she or her
friends encouraged it and you didn’t know her relationship status. Or perhaps
he’s just a normal guy, but she’s a drama starter and wants to make him
jealous.
Either
way, you have a guy wanting to fight you, or worse: he wants to kill you.
I
have never had strangers want to fight me in public until I became a male
stripper.
In
addition to potential violence, there is also the risk of new locations. The
customers who book you are strangers, and the place you’re going to is unknown.
Usually, your booking agent tries to weed out the potential weird and shady
customers, but a few manage to slip through the cracks.
If
you’re timid and fearful of potential violence, you may want to avoid this job.
On the other hand, if you love to fight and fuck someone up, you may want to
avoid this job too, because you’re going to constantly find opportunities for a
fight in the wrong setting—resulting in a trip to jail or to the hospital.
Drawback
#12: Start-up Expenses
Becoming a stripper
isn’t as easy as showing up and taking off your clothes. Women pay for a male stripper,
not the kid wearing a ball cap tilted to the side and jeans sagging down to
expose his boxers. They want a stud in uniform, wearing some sexy underwear to
hold all those dollar bills.
Booking
companies need male strippers with reliable communication devices and
transportation. You need to own a cell phone and be available to take calls.
Don’t bother applying if you rarely answer or reply to messages, or your phone shuts
off frequently because you can’t pay your bills on time. Transportation usually
means your own vehicle, unless you’re in a big city where public transportation
is more feasible. Cell phones and vehicles expenses come from your own pocket.
Don’t expect to get reimbursed unless you’re a Chippendale.
The
same goes for your wardrobe of costumes and thongs. The booking company expects
you to have these things, and they will not invest in these items for you. If
you’re lucky, they may recommend a few places to shop.
Also,
you’ll need to provide your own music. How you do it is your problem. Unless
you’re a thief, you’re probably going to have to spend some money in this area
as well.
Think
about these things carefully before deciding to sign up. One peculiar thing
about this job is that the burden of getting started rests heavily on the
applicant. If it seems like too much, then move aside and let the long line of
other applicants ahead of you because they want this job more than you.
Drawback
#13: Dancing
If you love to dance, ignore
this. If you hate dancing, you’re going to have a problem because male
strippers need to dance. Crowds expect it.
You
have to dance in front of everyone. The women are watching you, judging you,
and making comments about you. Such an endeavor would be nerve-racking for many
guys who are fully clothed. You will be taking off your clothes. Now is not the
time for insecurities and feeling self-conscious.
Next chapter: click here
Next chapter: click here
Chapter 3: Why Hire a Male Stripper?
*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.
Previous chapter: click here
Previous chapter: click here
Sometimes, I get asked, "Why should a group
of ladies hire you when they can go out and get any guy they want for
free?" In business, this translates to, "Why should I buy your
service/product?" If you cannot answer this question, you should not be
selling your service or product. You should not be a stripper if you cannot
demonstrate why women should pay you to perform.
This is an obstacle
anyone in business faces. Sure, there are plenty of men out there who would be
happy to volunteer a strip show for a crowd of attractive ladies. What makes a
good male stripper different from the other guys is quality, professionalism,
and entertainment value.
First, when women hire
male strippers, they want a stud. They don't want Average Joe, or a guy with a
beer gut, or a rail thin college kid who weighs less than most of the girls do.
They want a universally appealing man with an appealing face and a muscular
body with well-defined abdominal muscles. Therefore, appearance plays a huge
role in determining the quality of a male stripper, and good appearance comes
from routine exercise, proper diet, genetics, and hygiene.
Male strippers also put
forth a high degree of professionalism for their shows. This ranges from the
costume selection to the friendly attitude he displays. When a stripper takes
on a show, he makes a promise with customers to be dependable, arrive on time,
and put on a good show. He also gauges each girl to determine her comfort zone
and how to react accordingly. Above all, they have the ability to work with
customers of different backgrounds, cultures and creed.
Most importantly, women
hire male strippers because of their ability to entertain. Whether it’s a
bachelorette or birthday party, the girls want some fun and a good laugh. A
male stripper knows how to provide a good time with plenty of activities for
the women to enjoy.
So why should women hire
a male stripper over the average guy? Because he is the epitome of masculinity
mixed with entertainment.
Chapter 2: Reasons to Become a Male Stripper
*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.
Previous Chapter: Click here
Next chapter: click here
Previous Chapter: Click here
You like being the
center of attention
You like to earn easy
money
You get paid to party
with women of all types
You like to show off
those muscles that you have worked so hard for
Every day at work is
different—you never know what you’re going to get into
You like to travel for
work
You like dressing in
costumes
You enjoy wearing
thongs and skimpy underwear
You like performing in
front of a crowd
You enjoy that feeling
of rock star treatment
You love to dance
You can meet many girls
on the job
You can sometimes have
sex on the job
You earn a lot of money
under-the-table
You will have many
interesting stories to tell
You will have a
unique life experienceNext chapter: click here
Chapter 1: An Intro to Male Stripping
*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.
My name is Dion, and I am a male stripper.
In
high school, I wasn’t the star football player or prom king. I was the musician
in chorus class who had never even been inside a gym. I spent all my free time
playing video games, reading fantasy novels, and watching anime.
I
moved to Gainesville in 2002 to attend the University of Florida, one of the
top party schools in the United States. I missed out on the wild parties,
apparently. I spent my 21st birthday working a part-time job at the
gym and doing homework. There was no crazy birthday party, no outing with
friends. I couldn’t even get a girlfriend. I was in the prime of my life making
good grades at a good college, but I felt like a loser.
My
saving grace through this period was bodybuilding. Ultimately, it was my dream
to compete. I wanted to enter a bodybuilding competition and be the best built
guy in the region. However, while I had good muscular symmetry, my frame would
never allow me to attain the hulking physiques of pro-bodybuilders, meaning I
wasn’t likely to win any competitions. Moreover, my muscles weren’t getting me
any girls.
Then
I walked into French Addiction, a lingerie store, and saw an ad for male
strippers. Part of the requirement was having a nice physique. No dance
experience necessary. I applied and got the job.
Getting
this job marked the biggest turning point of my life. I became a whole other
person. My life shifted from a dull existence to one full of excitement. I went
to the best parties and got paid to
do so. My forays with the opposite sex exceeded all my fantasies and
expectations. Girls constantly called me wanting to hang out. My life made
those movies about the college party life seem boring in comparison.
The
money was great too. I made more in thirty minutes working a party than I did
during a week’s worth of work at the gym. Other students had to take grueling
shift work to earn minimum wage, while I partied with girls and earned more. I
couldn’t believe it. Sometimes I had nightmares that the whole male stripping
job was just a dream.
To say that male stripping changed me is an
understatement. It transformed me into something better, more dynamic. This
occupation also gave me plenty of memorable adventures. Becoming a stripper was
one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I would do it over again
and again.
That’s
enough about me. What about you? Why do you want to become a stripper?
Monday, September 22, 2014
Farrah De Lis Rips Off Agency
UPDATE: After this post, Farrah De Lis removed all social media content relating to her name Farrah De Lis, including the videos from her YouTube video. She probably goes by another stage name now, if she's still stripping that is (if she hasn't ripped off enough people). Also, she posted in one of the comments below. I'll let y'all take a guess which one she is.
NEW UPDATE 2018: One reader informed me that Sarah Michelle Drescher is her name, and she has the reputation for being a life-long criminal. If you Google that name, then she also pops up being involved with a murder, though the charge was dropped against her.
When a stripper works for an agent, he or she usually collects the money from the customers upfront before the performance. This money is the initial down payment and does not include tips. After the show, the stripper sends a percentage of that money to the agent in order to get new bookings.
Unfortunately, some strippers decide that this is a great opportunity to steal. They simply keep the money and never contact the agency again.
Farrah De Lis (her stage name, but you can Google it and get some results) was a prime example.
She worked at one of my agencies, and they booked her and another dancer called Holly, who was her friend, to strip at an all-night bachelor party in New Orleans, from 8 p.m. until 2 a.m. in the morning, six hours total. The guys had a limo and wanted Farrah and Holly to go to the clubs and hang out with them the duration of the night. According to my agent, Farrah De Lis was to collect $900 and send $200 of it to the company. The $200 covered both of the dancer's booking fee. That deal was more than fair in this industry, and Farrah agreed to send her and Holly's portion together since Holly was a new hire.
The first problem came when the customers complained that Farrah and Holly ditched them at 11 p.m., staying only three of the six hours, even though they paid the full $900 up front. They were very pissed at her.
The second problem came when Farrah failed to pay the agent. Two weeks went by. The agent attempted to call and text her because sometimes shit happens, but the phone call went to voice mail after two rings--which the agent thought was Farrah deliberately sending the call to voicemail--and she ignored the text messages.
During this period, Farrah De Lis began applying at other stripping agencies seeking employment. Unbeknownst to her, the agency she ripped off had already sent a warning out to the other agencies. Another national agency recognized Farrah and stated that she was "bombarding" them with e-mails looking for work.
Farrah De Lis did not get hired. Instead, that agent told her flat out that he "doesn't hire dancers who steal money."
Irony screwed her shortly thereafter. A rich customer called the first agency and specifically requested to book Farrah and one other girl for a whole evening for his best friend's bachelor party with a generous budget of $2,000 to spare. That was not including the fat padding of tips, which he assured would flow freely provided the girls do a good job. Too bad Farrah was no longer employed, because she would have made a ton of money.
To summarize the consequences, Farrah De Lis had forsaken a high-paying gig and much more lucrative work opportunities. She also faces the possibility of theft charges. Most of all, her reputation as a reliable dancer is ruined because the first agency blacklisted her name, and word of bad dancers spread like the flu in the stripping industry.
All for $200. What a dumb thing to do.
And how do I know this?
I was visiting my agent when he booked Farrah, and he later told me the whole story, which I'm now sharing because it teaches one important lesson in life: Don't steal from your employers--it's like chopping off the hand that feeds you.
Update: One of my readers sent me a link of her video on Youtube, which you can see below:
NEW UPDATE 2018: One reader informed me that Sarah Michelle Drescher is her name, and she has the reputation for being a life-long criminal. If you Google that name, then she also pops up being involved with a murder, though the charge was dropped against her.
When a stripper works for an agent, he or she usually collects the money from the customers upfront before the performance. This money is the initial down payment and does not include tips. After the show, the stripper sends a percentage of that money to the agent in order to get new bookings.
Unfortunately, some strippers decide that this is a great opportunity to steal. They simply keep the money and never contact the agency again.
Farrah De Lis (her stage name, but you can Google it and get some results) was a prime example.
She worked at one of my agencies, and they booked her and another dancer called Holly, who was her friend, to strip at an all-night bachelor party in New Orleans, from 8 p.m. until 2 a.m. in the morning, six hours total. The guys had a limo and wanted Farrah and Holly to go to the clubs and hang out with them the duration of the night. According to my agent, Farrah De Lis was to collect $900 and send $200 of it to the company. The $200 covered both of the dancer's booking fee. That deal was more than fair in this industry, and Farrah agreed to send her and Holly's portion together since Holly was a new hire.
The first problem came when the customers complained that Farrah and Holly ditched them at 11 p.m., staying only three of the six hours, even though they paid the full $900 up front. They were very pissed at her.
The second problem came when Farrah failed to pay the agent. Two weeks went by. The agent attempted to call and text her because sometimes shit happens, but the phone call went to voice mail after two rings--which the agent thought was Farrah deliberately sending the call to voicemail--and she ignored the text messages.
During this period, Farrah De Lis began applying at other stripping agencies seeking employment. Unbeknownst to her, the agency she ripped off had already sent a warning out to the other agencies. Another national agency recognized Farrah and stated that she was "bombarding" them with e-mails looking for work.
Farrah De Lis did not get hired. Instead, that agent told her flat out that he "doesn't hire dancers who steal money."
Irony screwed her shortly thereafter. A rich customer called the first agency and specifically requested to book Farrah and one other girl for a whole evening for his best friend's bachelor party with a generous budget of $2,000 to spare. That was not including the fat padding of tips, which he assured would flow freely provided the girls do a good job. Too bad Farrah was no longer employed, because she would have made a ton of money.
To summarize the consequences, Farrah De Lis had forsaken a high-paying gig and much more lucrative work opportunities. She also faces the possibility of theft charges. Most of all, her reputation as a reliable dancer is ruined because the first agency blacklisted her name, and word of bad dancers spread like the flu in the stripping industry.
All for $200. What a dumb thing to do.
And how do I know this?
I was visiting my agent when he booked Farrah, and he later told me the whole story, which I'm now sharing because it teaches one important lesson in life: Don't steal from your employers--it's like chopping off the hand that feeds you.
Update: One of my readers sent me a link of her video on Youtube, which you can see below:
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Story: Her Dirty Little Secret
The following story is a chapter from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper"
Her Dirty Little Secret
It’s easy to guess what men do when they fraternize. But when women get
together, they partake in activities that would appall and shock most men.
Not all men, though.
For some reason, ladies tend to let their guard down in front of male
strippers. Strippers show up to entertain them, not pass moral judgment. We
become invisible ghosts at these parties, witnessing acts we would never see
under normal circumstances.
I had a bachelorette party in Florida for a group of girls just out of
college. There were eight girls total, around 23 to 24 years of age. They
requested a cop outfit. My customer contact was a girl named Katelyn, and she
seemed lively and eager over the phone. Katelyn and her friends had never had a
male stripper before.
When I arrived at their beach condo, Katelyn met me alone outside to pay.
She was tall, hovering an inch or two above me. Her blonde hair and doll-like
face made for a fetching combination. We discussed my entrance. Then she went
inside to wait with the rest of her friends.
Clad in my police uniform with a flashlight in hand, I pounded on the front
door. Katelyn opened the door anxiously. I announced that the neighbors had
called and complained about the loud noise. Katelyn apologized on the behalf of
her friends. I asked if I could come inside and “take a look around.” Katelyn
invited me in, and I made my way into the living room, giving a lecture about
noise violations and how much their citation fees are. The bride, unaware that
I was a stripper, nodded along, vowing to keep the noise down.
Her fearful expression changed to astonishment once someone started the music.
I began to strip for her.
She loved my strip show, but she wanted very little physical contact. She
suggested I circulate among her friends instead. We went through the typical
private party activities: fishing money out of bras with the teeth, the male
stripper version of lap dancing, humiliating the shy girls, burying my crotch into
a few faces, and some kinky games with the blindfold. Once I finished the
activities, it was picture time.
Had the party ended here, it would have been on a good note at the end of a
nice melody. Everything went perfectly according to plan. Great crowd, great
tips, and a great performance.
However, the girls proposed that I stay with them to play beer pong … with
a twist.
Whenever someone scored, the opposing team would have to remove one article
of clothing. Hmmm … Eight girls playing a game involving stripping, and I’m the
only guy. I did not need much convincing.
We made teams of two. A petite brunette in booty shorts volunteered to team
up with me. The other team was Katelyn and the bride.
The other girls rooted for Katelyn and the bride. They wanted me to lose so
I could strip completely naked. That was okay with me, but I stipulated that my
teammate had to strip first considering I had already removed most of my
clothing. The girls agreed. I smiled inwardly. The whole scenario sounded like
a rigged lottery where I was the winner regardless of the numbers.
Unfortunately for the crowd, my teammate was amazing at beer pong. Her
throws had perfect accuracy, and after a few turns, the bride and Katelyn stood
on the other side of the table wearing only their panties. They managed to
score once before they lost, causing my teammate to lose her shirt.
We played a new round. We had two new challengers. My teammate and I
devastated them down to their thongs. My teammate scored most of the points,
but I did all right since I was the only sober one there. Our win came at a
price, though—my teammate lost her bra and her booty shorts. Only her pink
thong with black polka dots remained.
Throughout our bouts of beer pong, the girls asked me about stripping.
“What was your craziest party?” “Do any girls ever try to hook up with you?”
One girl suspected me of stuffing my thong. “You put something in there to make
it look bigger,” she said. I laughed and shrugged, but didn’t say anything. She
would see it soon enough if my team lost.
Two more girls stepped up to the table. They were just as good as my
teammate. It was a close game. Both teams had one cup remaining. I almost
ringed their cup, but it hit the lip of the cup and bounced away. My teammate
missed her shot. The opposing girl threw the ball and it went straight into our
last cup.
Everyone cheered and looked at me expectantly.
“Take it off! Take it off!” they chanted. “Take it off!”
They were shouting so loudly that I’m surprised their neighbors did not
call the actual police. I reached down undid the metal snaps that kept my thong
on.
“Wow! I didn’t know it would snap off like that!” my teammate said. “So I
could have just unsnapped it the whole time?”
“Pretty much,” I said, slowly peeling the thong away. “And here’s your answer
to the previous question.”
My cock came out and hung down.
All eyes were on my cock. It was like one of those dreams where you’re
naked in public and everyone is staring. Except this time, the girls cheered at
my nudity rather than staring in horror. Sometimes, reality is better than the
dream world.
I resumed dancing with the girls. The performance took on a renewed vigor
with everyone being nude or close to it. Breasts bounced and jostled in front
of my face. One blonde girl picked up my thong and put it on. It looked nice on
her except for the bulging fabric in the front. “It has space for my
non-existent package,” she exclaimed.
Everyone laughed. However, my thong looked fantastic on her ass. She
pranced around—pretending to be me—dancing on the other girls and thrusting her
imaginary penis at them.
The girls who weren’t dancing with me kneaded at each other’s breasts like
nursing kittens. They compared density, size, and firmness. This wasn’t the
first time I’ve seen such a spectacle, so I wasn’t surprised. But to the
average guy, this phenomenon is as incomprehensible as a party of straight
males whipping their dicks out and letting each other grab them for comparison.
It would never happen.
Katelyn hovered around me most of the time. We discussed books we’d read.
She seemed well-read and intelligent. I learned that she worked in marketing
and hated her office job. While we were talking, I stole many glances at her
large, bare breasts. My cock brushed against her leg and got hard. Katelyn was
standing between me and her friends when this happened, so they did not witness
my unintended prodding. Katelyn continued talking about her job as though
nothing had happened, but her eyes dipped downward and she smiled.
It had been a few hours since I’d arrived. A few girls yawned while one
began dozing off on the couch. I thanked everyone and went to collect my
belongings.
“I’ll walk you out,” Katelyn offered. “Let me put some clothes on.”
“Okay," I said, knowing full well of her intentions.
We went out of the condo together and walked down the stairs on the front
porch. When we got to the bottom, Katelyn turned to me and said, “Well, it was
nice to meet you. Take care.” She shuffled around nervously and leaned forward
to give me an awkward hug. As she began to pull away at the end of our hug, I
grabbed her hands and reeled her toward me. “Okay, to hell with it,” she said.
Our make-out session led to enthused caressing of intimate places. I led
her under the stairs so we weren’t in plain view of anyone who happened to be
taking a stroll in the parking lot. Voices deep in conversation echoed from the
distance, and I didn’t want to give an unintentional peep show. I took my shirt
off. Katelyn unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. As I pulled my cock out, she
took her shorts off and kept her t-shirt on.
“I wanna fuck you so bad,” she gasped. Next, she squatted down and began
sucking my cock in a slick and steady rhythm. She was very good at this. Had
she continued for another minute or two, I would have erupted into her mouth.
Instead, she stood up and turned around, thrusting her ass towards me. I
reached down to my pants, which were around my ankles, and pulled out a condom.
I rolled it on and eased my cock into her. She moaned. Just as we were about to
establish a comfortable repetitious motion, someone opened the front door of
the condo.
We couldn’t see who it was because we were under the stairs. The surprise
was neutralizing to our sexual efforts. Katelyn immediately stood up and
covered her breasts. “I’m okay,” she shouted to the unidentified friend above.
We heard the sound of the door closing.
“I guess she went back inside,” I said.
We resumed our passion, or as much passion as a couple can produce outside
under wooden stairs next to a lit parking lot. The occasional noise of a car
door slamming in the distance or voices at another condo set us at unease, but
we continued. After we were finished, we kissed.
“So how long are you here till?” I asked her.
“Till Monday morning. Why don’t you come hang out with us at the beach
tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I can do that. We should keep in touch. I head up to Georgia on
occasion.”
“Really? Call me whenever you’re in town. I have a really nice apartment.
You can stay with me, and there are plenty of things to do.”
“Well, what if you have a boyfriend by that time?” I asked.
“I won’t,” Katelyn said. “I just got out of a three year relationship.”
We never finalized any
plans. I haven’t heard from her since. It was another night of work for me, but
it was lascivious encounter with a male stripper for Katelyn.
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