Do Looks Really Matter to Women?

I received a few e-mails regarding my last post in reference to looks. To sum them all up, the many of the messages basically asked:

Don't women judge men by looks first?

One reader even supplemented a link where one guy from a popular forum used several pictures of a Calvin Klein model for his Tinder account, and immediately received many matches. He'd say the stupidest shit and still get phone numbers.

So to answer your questions, everyone judges by looks first. However, men often judge themselves with these guidelines:

• I rank about a "5" in the face (on a scale of 1 - 10).
• I'm x height.
• I'm y weight.
• I'm average build.
• I have an x - inch cock.
   

Women don't rate men the same way. In an article called How Women Perceive Attractiveness by Dr. Christakis and Dr. Fowler, women rated men on attractiveness based on photographs. The study observed that women found men more attractive based on certain social factors. For example, when a man was with another woman, he was rated higher. When a man was with multiple women, he was rated higher.

In addition, a similar study by John M. Townsend demonstrated that status attire had a profound effect on women's attractiveness ratings towards men. Basically men who wear trashy clothes gott rated lower. Men who wore nicer clothes got rated higher.

So what does this say about women?

Women don't view your rating of a "5" in the same way. Even if you do rank as a "5" physically, you can increase her perception of you through your body language, your clothing, your social standing, job, how you act and what you say.

If you think your self-worth to women is limited to your "5" rating, then you limit only yourself with your insecurity.

Playing the Hand You're Dealt

I always appreciate e-mails from readers, even if I'm extremely busy and don't have time to respond to them all in a timely manner. Just know that your e-mails and comments give me the motivation to write books and continually update this blog.

That said, I try to respond to all e-mails no matter what. However, I recently received an interesting e-mail that was difficult to answer, as it reminded me painfully of my younger days in high school where I was socially inept and faced repeated frustrations when it came to dating.

Here's the message from Jim (not his actual name, but that's what we'll use to keep him anonymous):

Hey Dion,

I have been reading your blog for quite some time now. I really enjoyed your book too. It has been amusing and informative at the same time. It's nice to read about your wild experience and imagine that lifestyle.

The question I want to ask is if you get rejected a lot when approaching women or dating. You seem like you are good at talking to girls so you're the ideal person to ask.

I get rejected all the time. I'm 28 and have a good job. I'm not handsome at all and a bit on the chubby side. Sometimes I wonder what's the point in even trying to date if girls don't find me attractive. I feel that if you're not born with good looks then you have it tough.

I was wondering if good looking guys go through hardships as well. Is there any advice you can give me on how to deal with this?

Thank you in advance.


Dion's Response:

Dear Jim,

It's really difficult to give you advice without me standing there in person to gauge your situation. However, I will said this: Life is like a game of poker.

We're all dealt a hand of cards when we're born. Some of the more fortunate players in life receive a superior hand: royal flush, four-of-a-kind, or a full house. These people are either born with wealth, good-looks, high intelligence, extra privileges, or a combination of each.

Those less fortunate may not even get a pair of matching cards. They are born into poverty, less desirable physical appeal, lower intelligence, fewer privileges, or a combination of such.

The one thing that real life and poker have in common is that you can succeed even with a bad hand. Even without a pair. Poor people have become wealthy. Unattractive people have become more attractive. Simple-minded people formed flourishing businesses.

From the sounds of it, Jim, you might not have been dealt the best hand, but you have a decent job now and that's a good start. So run with that hand. You can improve your appearance by exercising, eating better, and improving your hygiene. You can spice up your personality by taking on new interests and experiencing new things.

It's all on what you decide to do with your hand. The only thing you must never do is give up. That's what the losers of the game do. They bitch and gripe about their lot in life.

Even some players with the best hand -- the ones born with wealth, good looks, etc. -- squander their luck with bad decisions. I've seen people attractive people destroy their appearance with reckless habits, rich people blow all their money with nothing to show, and intelligent people whittle their talents on frivolous pursuits.

So you're not the best looking guy in town. You don't have to be. I'm not, either. Not all girls find me attractive, you know. But I constantly try to improve myself, whether it's exercising, enhancing my standard of living, reading something new to gain more knowledge, or learning a new skill. As long as you're a quality work in progress, somebody out there will take an interest. I've attained more success with women because I strive to maintain a constant state of improvement.

That's the interesting thing about life and poker. The outcome depends on your ability to make smart decisions, and maybe some luck here and there. You're not always going to win at something, but you increase your chances when you have the right attitude.

Examples of Bad Male Strippers

July 2015

Lately many of my customers have been complaining about their previous experiences with male strippers, and the number of bad incidents far outweigh the good. In some ways, the follies of these guys mean job security for me, but overall, they give the profession a bad name, potentially discouraging women from ever hiring a male stripper again.

The stories below occurred within the last month, and were shared by my most recent customers.



The DJ Stripper

My agent originally scheduled a party for me in Panama City at 6 pm on a Friday night. However, I had plans to go out to dinner with my family, so I politely declined. I sent him a text later apologizing. He replied, "No problem. I got another guy to fill in."

As I was driving home from dinner, my agent called and asked if I could do the party in Panama City around midnight or later. I agreed, wondering if this was the same party.

When I showed up, the customer appeared relieved. "I was worried because the other guy canceled on us at the last minute!"

 "I hope he had a good reason," I said.

"He said that he had to DJ at a club somewhere and should've never taken this gig. That made me flip out because I planned this all week and already paid with my credit card. When I told him that, he promised that the company would refund my money. I called the manager."

"What happened?"

"He got really pissed because that guy didn't even call him to let him know that he canceled."

I shook my head.

"That's not all! He looked like a kid. He sent us a picture and looked no older than fifteen!" She pulled out her phone, pulled up his picture, and showed it to me.

The photo was of a shirtless guy taking a selfie. He was ripped, but more lean than muscular. He wore his ballcap cocked to the side. I could see why the girls thought he was fifteen, because he resembled Justin Bieber and was trying a little too hard to look tough.

"I'm glad he canceled," she said, looking me up and down with approval.

The performance went well. The bride seemed happy along with the other girls. About halfway through my show, the customer who paid me came forward with her phone held towards the crowd.

"That other dancer just texted me. You gotta read this. What should I say? Is he on his way here?"

I read the text messages. The dancer had written that he had just finished his DJ gig and was available to strip for the girls if they still wanted him. He added, "You want this?" Followed by: "I'll eat you out better than anything you ever had."

I read his last text aloud to the party.

"What the fuck?" one girl said. "That's creepy as hell. Does he think that kind of talk turns us on?"

"He better not show up!" the bride said.

I told the customer, "Tell him that the company already sent another male dancer. I'll call my agent and tell him about this."

The customer did as I said, and the guy simply responded, "Have a nice night then."

The next day I called my agent and told him everything.

"He fuckin told them that?!" he yelled.

"Yeah, and tried to go behind your back to take your booking and keep the profits."

"Oh, he's fuckin fired. He fucked up when he told the customers I'd refund their money without calling me first. Who does he think he is? That other stuff he pulled just sealed the deal."



Bringing a Friend

Originally, my company slated me to do a party in Destin, Florida on Tuesday, July 28, but I couldn't do it due to my day job. So they filled the slot with another stripper.

On Thursday, July 30, I stripped for a bacehlorette party in Destin. It turned out that the customer was the very same one who tried to book a stripper on Tuesdsay, and she had a lot of bad things to say about the previous guy.

Here is a list of her complaints:

• The stripper brought his friend, which really made the girls feel awkward.
• The stripper couldn't dance, and his friend was even worse. (The video made me cringe)
• Both guys seemed to focus more on enjoying themselves than giving a good show.
• Since the stripper's friend didn't have a costume, they split the only costume the stripper had. One wore the shirt and the other wore the pants.
• Both guys wore fucking gym shorts as their underwear! Not thongs, but shorts.
• The guys didn't bring their own music, and instead, asked the girls to play theirs.
• They looked like they were still in high school, which was a big turn-off even for the crowd in their early 20's.
• When the customer expressed her disapproval of their lackluster performance, the stripper replied, "Come on, I have a four-year-old to feed at home."



The friend (left) watches in awkward silence in the background.

• Once again, the stripper brought his buddy along without telling the customer in advanced.

Needless to say, the customer called the company and complained. The agent sent me to clean up the mess.

All in all, it was an easy and fun crowd. I impressed them with my cop routine, and they especially enjoyed my thong, which unsnapped at the sides. They participated in each of my activities, and we all had a great time.

It's a pretty easy job to do once you get the hang of it, but some guys still manage to find ways to fuck it up. 

Like I said, though, it's job security for me.