Terminal Cancer

Last week, one of my agents pushed for a party for a girl who was dying with terminal cancer. Having a male stripper was on her bucket list. The agent felt a deep sense of sympathy for her and vowed to get her a dancer.

Lately, I've been too busy to strip much. I've been doing fewer and fewer parties each year due to not having weekends free. This weekend was no exception, but my agent asked when free. He was trying to make it work for this girl. I actually had that particular day off, and hearing the story, I had to do the party.

Unfortunately, when I showed up, the girl with the terminal cancer was so sick that she was continuously throwing up in the bathroom and couldn't even watch me. I tried to stay as long as I could until she got better, but she didn't. I danced for her friends, but never got a chance to meet her because she couldn't come out.

It was also her birthday.

There was a notebook that everyone was signing for her. I wrote a long personal note and left her the badge for my police costume as a souvenir. Then I had her friends take some risque pictures of me in a thong just for her. It wasn't much, but I hope it would bring her a smile later.

Cheating Bride

Last fall, I had an interesting show where the bride was very hands on. She was a very attractive blonde and played along to every single game with candor, groping me unabashedly throughout the night. Eventually she stripped down to her underwear--a thong and a bra.

Her friends were equally as fun. They showered me with money, and the party continued on as most other parties, except this one was a bit wilder. Several breasts came out, along with the massage oil and an almost nude bride.

Then, two men showed up.

The bride and her friends had met them at a bar on the previous night. The party invited them in, and they watched me in the background and stayed out of the way while I massaged the bride. They were friendly enough and seemed like your typical, ordinary college guys.

After the party, when I put on my clothes, the bride began giving these two men lap dances, alternating between them. She was debating which one was her favorite. One of them joked and pointed to me, saying "I think he is your favorite." Everyone laughed.

After a few drinks, the bride invited the two men to the bedroom along with the maid of honor. They closed the door. This upset a few of the girls who knew the absent groom.

I collected my money and left. I had done what I was paid for.

On the way home, I thought about how some men worry about the brides cheating with the stripper. While this does happen on occasion, I think more of the cheating happens at the regular bars and clubs.

And could I have slept with the bride? Sure. I could have pushed that envelope and maybe succeeded. She was very receptive to me until I announced that I had to leave. I probably would have done so when I was much younger.

But as I had said, I show up to do my job and leave. Not stir up trouble.

New Year's Resolution for (Aspiring) Male Strippers (2019 Edition)

I have posted resolutions for both aspiring and professional male strippers in the past.Here is another updated one.

Even now, I find that much of this advice still holds true.

So take these resolutions for what they're worth to you.



Aspiring Male Stripper Resolutions

• I will train to build a better body.
• I will eat a healthy diet to attain an ideal physique.
• I will improve my dancing abilities, even if I think I know how to dance.
• I will groom myself and maintain the highest standards of hygiene.
• I will start a portfolio of professional pictures of myself, so I have something to send to employers. (2019 Update: Some employers prefer recent selfies now)
• I will have my own cell phone with Google Maps and uninterrupted service.
• I will have my own music player accompanied by a set list of good dance songs (phones and portable speakers work).
• I will put together at least two different costumes.
• I will buy some sexy underwear for stripping.
• I will contact at least three different employers for work.
• I will listen to criticism.

Professional Male Stripper Resolutions

• I will maintain or improve my work-out routine, diet, and physique.
• I will practice my dance routine and look for ways to improve it.
• I will continue to look my best, never slacking because I have achieved success.
• I will learn to perform and speak in public, even if I think I already know how.
• I will check out different employers to learn about other opportunities out there.
• I will treat my current employer(s) with respect because they provide me with work.
• I will give my customers the best service that I can.
• I will put together another costume and/or improve the ones I already have.
• I will create business cards and network with local limo services, party buses, event organizers, or any other possible venues that may require a male stripper.
• I will update my portfolio if necessary.
• I will abstain from activities and substances that are detrimental to my health and physique (i.e. drugs, binge drinking, other illegal activities).
• I will not be envious of others, nor compare myself to my peers.
• I will be amiable, enthusiastic, and professional.
• I will not boast, brag, or gloat about my profession.
• I will always remember where I came from.
• I will strive to learn other skills and knowledge in life, because I know that I cannot strip forever.

• I will evaluate my bad parties and discover new ways to satisfy customers, even if they are difficult.
• I will count and record my earnings, even the tips down to the last dollar. I will use this information to track my personal budget, note the customer flow each month and season, and to note which parties netted the most tips so I can make the necessary adjustments for improvements. 

• I will save/invest my excess tip money wisely, instead of splurging on unnecessary things that will not benefit me in the long run.
• Keep my eyes and ears open for new opportunities and careers.
• I will seek out other job opportunities for the future, because stripping is not a career.

With that said, good luck on 2019!