Saturday, June 15, 2013

Two parties. One was in northwest Florida while the other was in Biloxi, Mississippi. Combining the time it took to prepare before the show, performing, and commuting, I spent about ten hours total.

The first party was a simple bachelorette party of about twenty girls. The mother hired me for her daughter, so there was a mix of older ladies and young girls of college age. She wanted me to arrive as a pizza delivery man and even provided me with a Pizza Hut box. I rang the doorbell and entered, opened the pizza box for the crowd, showing them that it was empty.

"I ate the pizza," I told them. "It's my last day working at Pizza Hut, so I don't give a shit."

Some of the girls laughed. They knew I was the stripper and pointed me to the bachelorette.

The bachelorette was very timid, so spent enough time to give her a short strip show. Instead, I just focused my attention on her girlfriends, who were very attractive. There was one blonde who looked like a tall and tanned version of Taylor Swift. I thoroughly enjoyed my time on top of her.

Overall, the crowd was tame due to the mother's presence along with the few other older ladies, but they treated me well. One girl asked for my phone number and another invited me out to the club, which I turned down with much regret because of my next show in Biloxi.

Biloxi was about a three and a half hour drive from where I was in Florida.

My show in Biloxi started after midnight, which is rare. Usually the girls like to eat dinner, have the stripper, then hit the clubs. This party was hitting the clubs first and having the stripper afterwards. Believe it or not, this was the first time that I stripped for a group of girls after they hit the clubs
It was the birthday girl's fortieth birthday. The event took place at the Beau Rivage Casino Hotel in Biloxi, Mississippi. The plan was simple. I was to hide in the closest until she arrived into the hotel room and burst out to surprise her. I thought that this was a bad idea, but the other girls insisted on it.

Luckily, the birthday girl did not attack me or have a heart attack when I emerged from hiding. Instead, she berated her friends for awhile, saying that she knew that they were acting suspiciously all night. Next, I had to wait for her to choose a song to her liking. Once I started stripping for her, she sat there unimpressed.

"Come on," she said while I was unbuttoning my shirt. "Show me what you got."

She continued to make demands while I stripped. One thing I hate is one of my clientele directing my performance. That's like an audience member telling a standup comedian which jokes he should tell.

The whole time, the birthday girl refused to play along with my directions. She dry-humped me as I danced with her friends, or she straddled her friends. She climbed atop of one girl's face and announced that she was on her period. The other girl squirmed from underneath in a feeble attempt to escape. The truth was, the birthday girl was really on her period. I avoided close contact with her for the duration of the party.

Besides the birthday girl, the other girls were a great audience. Two of them wanted to make out with me and were getting more and more physical as time went on. Throughout the whole event, a few girls trickled in and out of the room to smoke in the hallway.

That was a mistake. Apparently it was against the hotel's policy to smoke in or around the rooms.

A wandering security guard walked up and saw the smoking violation. He looked into the room and saw me in a g-string entwined with one of the girls who wanted to kiss me. We broke apart as more security guards came. The birthday girl immediately launched into an argument with the head security guard, stating how ridiculous they were acting about a simple cigarette.

I gathered my clothes to get dressed. The party was over.

The head security guard asked for the birthday girl's I.D. She became more irate, which didn't help her situation any. After awhile, a hotel manager arrived and told the birthday girl that she was being issued a $250 fine for smoking in and around the hotel room, which would be charged to her room fee.

The hotel manager and security left, leaving a fuming birthday girl and a bitter ending to a wild night.

I left the hotel at 3 a.m. and got home at almost 6 a.m.