Male Strippers & Muscularity

Hi,

I just stumbled onto your blog, and while male stripping isn't a subject in which I have a keen interest, a question does come to mind.  It is whether all (or most all) male strippers are the muscle-bound guys I always see, and if so why?

I'm pretty familiar with what guys look for in women, and it's amazingly diverse.  Some like 'em fat, others thin, and so on.  Three guys entering the same brothel will invariably happily choose three different providers simply because their tastes are different.  True, female strippers normally conform to conventional average standards of sex appeal, but even female strippers vary a lot.  I remember one super fat one (who went by Eartha Quake) who was quite popular.  More to the point, while most female strippers are in some kind of shape (dancing is good exercise) few give the kind of evidence of serious gym sessions that male strippers do.

I'm also reasonably familiar with women's tastes (although of course no male can ever fully understand these) and they are diverse too.  Specifically, some women aren't attracted to the muscle-bound stripper physique but rather prefer the skinny rock star look or on occasion even the fat, bald accountant look.

Thus I wonder if my impression of male strippers all having to conform to the same standards of muscle-bound attractiveness is true, and if so why.

If true, my total guess is that the explanation lies in the much smaller market for male than female strippers.  That is, standards of attractiveness may be more lax for females simply because there is a greater demand for them and the market must compromise, whereas the lower demand for male strippers may raise the standards for the men in the occupation.

However, I also wonder if maybe prejudice is operating--even male prejudice.  That is, I suspect that men more than women affirm the muscle-bound physique, so maybe men are setting the standards for male strippers?  If so, this would help explain why most of your offers for side work come from gay men rather than women.


Thanks,

Ken  

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My response:


Male strippers tend to be muscular because the degree of muscularity has a strong association with testosterone, the male hormone. Therefore, society associates big muscles with masculinity. Some examples of this include super heroes from Marvel and DC comics; all the male heroes have a bodybuilder's physique. Athletes exemplify masculinity, and society glorifies them. The same trait applies to male strippers. When customers want to hire a man to take his clothes off, they want someone who represents the epitome of masculinity with muscularity added in the package.

It's true that what men look for in women is quite diverse, but the same applies to the other side of the coin. Most men look for feminine traits in female strippers, such as breasts and hips, rather than muscularity and independence. Having sexy breasts or curvy hips don't require extensive training sessions at the gym at all. In fact, most female strippers can get away by showing off their femininity while being overweight, thin, etc.

You make a good point about the high standards for male strippers. There is a much lower demand for male strippers, although the popularity of male strippers has been on a steady rise during the last two decades. The low demand results in fierce competition where the better male gets more work based on his looks. In this case, muscularity makes up a large portion of how the man looks besides his face, so it's very important to have a decent body.

Men often place more emphasis on having a muscular physique, but that does not affirm the standards of male strippers. The women, or customers rather, choose the standards, and they often choose the guy with a muscular physique. If the customer preferred someone skinnier or fatter, then the skinnier or fatter guy would get the job... But that rarely occurs, otherwise just about every skinny or overweight guy would be spilling into the industry. Keep in mind that the customers are women in my case, and I'm not covering what the gay male audience wants.

Some women may say that they do not prefer muscles, but they often hire a muscular man as their stripper. Whenever I go to parties, I see posters of muscular men tacked up on the walls. Companies market muscular men to women all the time. Next time you're at the book store, pick up a romance novel and look at the cover. You often seen a feminine woman cradled against a muscular man. Target audience? Female readers. So females affirm the standards of muscularity in a more subtle way.

Another point you brought up is the "side work," often referred to as "gay-4-pay" in the industry. Exactly as you imply, the side work often comes from male customers, or gay male customers. It's a simple concept really. Gay men act like straight men: they hire out of sexual desire, hence the side work. You very rarely ever hear of women buying prostitutes to satisfy their sexual urges. If a woman wants sex from me, she usually expects to get it for free. Another example, if you want to see a female stripper take off more clothes, then you pay her more money. Most of my female customers would find it absurd to pay more money for me to take my thong off, and even more-so to charge for side work. Why? Because they're often the gatekeepers to sex. It is difficult to reverse that concept overnight. That's why male strippers and female strippers are quite different.

I Wanna Be A Male Stripper! (Part 1)

On average, I get about a dozen e-mails a week from guys who want to get into this industry. Because so many of the e-mails are similar in nature, I decided to share them in an effort to answer any future questions that you aspiring male strippers out there might have.

The first e-mail is by Andres:

Hello Dion,
Thank you for your willingness to help answer questions. I am 25, 5'11, hispanic male, currently 151 lbs, slim body with good definition.
My questions to you are:
What would you recommend would be an ideal body weight?
Is there such thing as skinny male strippers? What is their success rate?
What is some advice you would give to first time strippers?
Where did you resort to for dance moves? Do you have an online link you recommend?
Do you shave or wax?
How many costumes do I need? Do you have a website you would recommend?
What are strip clubs looking for when hiring male strippers?
Is a dick pump necessary?
How was your first stripping experience at a club?
Thanks

Dear Andres: 

I suggest that you gain about twenty pounds of muscle. That alone will not get you work though. I have not taken in other factors such as your looks, charisma, professionalism, common sense, and personality. But being too skinny can be a problem because your competition may be a guy who is 5'11 and 195 lbs. with good definition. He's going to get the work. You're not.

There are skinny male strippers though. Once again, think of the competition. You may get the job, but the girls will most likely pick the guy who looks like he weighs a bit more than the average girl at the party.

I don't really have any recommendations for dance moves. It's all about your own style really. Just as comedians have to make their own jokes, male strippers have to make their own routines.

I shave. Never wax. I did that once and got so many ingrown hairs from it.

As far as costumes are concerned, I wrote a whole section on costumes in the guide section of my site.  

I have never used a dick pump before. But now that you mentioned it, perhaps you can find a muscle suit that comes with a dick pump. Then you would have the ideal weight, the dick pump, and a costume all in one! 

My next story will go into detail about my first stripping experience at a club.

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The next e-mail is from Pieter:

Good day Dion

Can you give me some advice?
Im interested in becoming a male stripper but I dont know the ins and outs or even how to start. Have no experience whatsoever. I could really use some advice.

Looking forward to hear from you

Kind regards
Pieter

Dear Pieter:

I'm interested in becoming an electrical engineer, but I don't know where to start. I have no experience or a degree for the matter. I need advice. I know this is a vague and open-ended question that shows little research and initiative on my part, but requests a long drawn out answer on yours.

In all seriousness, click on the "Guide: Becoming A Male Stripper" tab at the top of the my page. That said, are you going to be too lazy to do all the work and research yourself? Or are you going to ask an agent to do all the work for you?

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And one more from Jake:

Hi, so I was reading your blog and it's really nice all the tips and stuff.

I have a question though, so I know this place that is currently hiring young male strippers with no experience, sounds perfect, only thing is my body is not like Captain America or anything, I've been at the gym for 1 month and there's some definition going on here and there it's all good all pleasant to the eye, I have an athletic figure, I'm real good looking, but I don't have a six pack... So should i apply for the job now? Or wait a few months till I have that amazing body?

Jake

Dear Jake:

I suggest you take yourself over to the place and ask the management to access your body and looks for you. They'll give you an honest opinion.

Here's my opinion though: One month of training ain't shit. I've been training for years before I started stripping, and let me tell you that a few months of training is not going to bring about that crazy transformation.

There is one exception and that is genetics. You may have been blessed with a good body naturally, but even that will only take you so far. Either way, if you think training alone is going to be the answer, then you're wrong.

Like I said, go and apply. See what the management says. You can make it without a six-pack. Yet, there may be a guy working at the club with a six-pack, good looks, and a charming personality, and he's going to get all the money while you're standing there with a dollar bill in your G-string watching him get all the women.

Just because you get the job doesn't mean you'll get the money.

Dion 

Advice: Building Yourself

Occasionally, some requests will come my way asking how to get girls. Being the guy that started at the bottom of the totem pole, I try to offer helpful advice in any way I can. 

Chance, another male stripper, commented on one of my posts about taking responsibility and building yourself for better. In fact, his comment summed up the reality of getting girls better than anything I can conjure up. Below is the following comment he posted:

A man becomes attractive to a woman when he is passionate about something. A man must make his life mission his top priority before and above a woman.

This is to say: If you are finding ways to consistently better yourself; women will become attracted to the project in motion, not necessarily the end result.

You can start by doing this many ways: 

- Hit the gym (health, physique, confidence)
- Start a business (Money, status)
- Create style in your wardrobe (Status, style)
- Restore an old car to new condition
- etc, etc.

The whole point here is you are doing something that you are passionate about and it will help you grow as a person. More importantly, a woman will see that she is not your top priority and will fight for that position; although subconsciously she doesn't want to be top rung on your ladder.

Poster #1 has a typical loser mentality with "Dion has muscles, so he can get girls with a snap of his fingers". (Shake my head)

This further proves my point. What is Dion doing that you aren't poster #1? He is hitting the gym 3+ times a week as well as watching his diet.

If you knew that muscles attract women, wouldn't you hit the gym as well? No, you wouldn't.

If you knew money attracted women, wouldn't you attempt a business or further your education in hopes of climbing the corporate ladder? Probably not.

I am also a male stripper and can tell you that I am approached 10 fold while stripping because all of my qualities are on display (Muscular, confident, socially adept, money oriented, etc.) - It is not the title of a male stripper that truly turns women on; it is the qualities associated with such a task that make their pussy tingle. Not to mention other girls going crazy for you - women are way more competitive than men.

Bottom Line - Make your mission your priority, not women. If you build it (Yourself), they will come (bitches).

Chance made some great points. When I first started stripping, I was just a college student who attended school full-time, lived in an apartment, had little life experience with no other extravagant qualities. Even though I was a young, 21 year old stripper, I wasn't getting even a fraction of them women that approach me now that I'm 31 years old. Throughout the years, I became a teacher, worked in accounting, publishing, etc. I have a good full-time job now, a house, savings, investments, no debt, and even more goals to propel myself forward. It's not just the fact that I have money, assets, and a good life that women find attractive. It's the motivation, drive, aspirations, and the ability to take care of myself that lures them.

Setting goals and standards garnish respect and admiration. When you achieve those goals, set new ones and increase your standards. For example, I still train to further improve my body. I strive to learn more skills to better myself. I constantly improve my house and the condition of my life. 

 A lot of people refuse to improve themselves, resigning to a fate of mediocrity and sloth. For instance, take the obese guy who refuses to go to the gym, giving up on the prospects of improving his own physical health and appearance. Instead, he goes to the nearest buffet and stuffs himself. Another example lies in the starving artist college student. He takes out a huge student loan and gets a degree in art, creative writing, music, or philosophy, then he finds out he can't do shit with the degree afterwards and whines about needing government handouts because he can't earn any money. What he should have done was learn other skills or trades that would have earned him a spot in the work force. Hell, if it came down to earning money, I would scrub toilets for a living if I had to. What's sad is that a huge number of people promote a lazy attitude when it comes to advancing themselves in life.

So instead of lamenting about what you don't have in life, look for ways to improve yourself. Like Chance said, "if you build it, they will come." This quote not only applies for getting women, but for general success in life.