Thursday, October 28, 2010

Top 5 Essential Outfits for a Male Stripper

For any apiring male stripper, costumes are an absolute necessity. Those men who think they can work for an agency without a costume will never get any work. I never got work until I bought some costumes.

Without further ado, I'll present the most important costumes:

5.) Pizza Delivery Guy - Go to Pizza Hut and request an empty pizza box. Offer to buy a pizza if you have to. Walk in with the pizza as you wait for your payment. This costume is the most amusing, because girls are less likely to suspect that you're a stripper. Reactions of utter shock and surprise are common, because no one ever expects the pizza delivery guy to take off his clothes.

4.) Cowboy - Country women often request the cowboy outfit. The best thing to do with this outfit is to designate a "cowgirl." To do this, you first take off your cowboy hat, place it on a girl's head, then place her above your crotch and make her "ride" you while you dry hump her.

3.) Fireman - With this costume, a male stripper can show up to the party, knock on the door, and announce that he has to check inside the building due to a reported sighting of smoke. When all is clear, he can start stripping.

2.) Military Uniform - This was a must-have when I stripped in Ireland. The agent demanded that I get a Navy uniform. American girls request it as well, though less often. This outfit made number 2, because of its popularity in the U.K. and Ireland. This outfit is for the girls who love their men in uniform.

1.) Police Officer - The most requested outfit. Women request this almost 50% of the time. The more authentic the police uniform, the more fun the party becomes, especially when the girls believe that you're a real cop. Just show up, announce that the neighbors called the police due to a noise complaint, then interrogate the bachelorette. Sometimes the bachelorette will become indignant because she thinks that an actual cop is ruining her party. On top of that, handcuffing women is always fun.


Those are the Top 5 essential outfits for any male stripper. To even consider stripping, I recommend owning at least two of the above. I had three: the cop, cowboy, and pizza-delivery boy.

Authentic cop, fireman, and military uniforms aren't the easiest to find. Expect to spend good money for high quality outfits. I spent a few hundred dollars on my police outfit, but the amount of work I received for having it made the investment worthwhile.

In conclusion, a male stripper is not defined by just his looks and charm, but by his costumes as well!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Race Matters

There is no such thing as racial equality in male stripping. And there never will be.

Ethnicity makes a huge difference in this field---at least with the private parties. A crowd of black girls will request a black guy. Country girls usually want a white guy. Latinas typically request latino guys. No one ever requests an Asian guy...well except once, but I'll go into that another time.

Well, I am half Asian.

My mother is Asian. My dad is white, but has a bit of Native American Indian blood in him. As a result, he tans easily, and so do I.

Fortunately, this mixture benefits me since my agent promotes me whenever convenient. If the girls want a white guy, then he tells them that I am white. If the girls want a Latino, he tells them I am Latino. Black girls almost always want a black guy, so I wouldn't get the same amount of work as I would if I were black, but my agent says I'm darker than most guys. Therefore, I can cover a broad range of ethnicities, maximizing my profits.

My agent really only exaggerates about race when the girls make a big issue out of it. I have shown up to parties where my agent told the girls I was 100% white or Latino, only to have the party discover that I was mixed. The girls never cared, as long as the performance went well. Here and there, a few girls will get together and dote on me about how exotic I am.

Sometimes I lie.

I have told girls that I was Eastern European, Native American Indian, or some strange mixture that I concoct at the last second. They always believe me, or my agent. Either way, they're happy and I get paid in the end, so everyone benefits.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Male Stripping Questions - Part 21

How much longer will you be a male stripper? It seems as if being a male stripper is age limited to younger men. I'm not sure what age one stops stripping. What's next after you stop doing it? John


Not much longer. I work professional job as my main source of income strip for extra money. I'm in the process of getting a new professional job and probably won't have time to strip. Stripping is becoming tiresome anyway. I like having my weekends free after a typical work week, not driving around all night alone.

I'm 29 now, but I think male stripping is more suited for younger men. I have heard of male strippers who were over 30. Some Chippendales perform even beyond 40. If I wanted to continue to strip, then I think I would have another ten years at least. I'm in the best shape of my life now and show no outward signs of aging. But I'm not going to stick around with this job.

Male stripping is not a wise career choice, unless you work as a Chippendale who's great at saving money. You cannot list any great qualifications or work skills due to male stripping on a professional resume. As a private party stripper, work is erratic and inconsistent. Male stripping is more for younger men who are attending college or seeking a second job on the side. I started male stripping in college and it provided me with good money and some of the best times of my life. Yet, there comes a time when one must move on.

I'm in the process of moving on. I'll strip for a little while longer, but there is no more growth for me in the male stripping business. I need something else.

I have several things lined up. In addition to a new job, I'm in the process of working on a manuscript about my experiences as a male stripper. One literary agent already expressed interest. I just need to write down my experiences as a memoir, or consolidate some of the stories on here into a book.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Lost in Translation - Japan 2005

In 2005, I received my Bachelor's degree and got a job as an English teacher in Japan. As a result, I had to quit my job as a male stripper for almost two years.

Although I studied Japanese at college, I still didn't know everything about the culture. I experienced several varieties of culture shock over there. The one the stood out the most was the average Japanese girl's perception of Western men.

Before I left for Japan, I was seeing three American girls at the same time. When I arrived in Japan, I didn't get laid for almost half a year. I wondered why. I still looked the same as I did in America when girls were paying me to strip.

Then I made a shocking discovery: Most Japanese girls thought I was gay.

At first, I was clueless. Several of my Japanese coworkers made gay jokes with me, but I simply thought they were joking. Then, some female students asked me outright about my sexual orientation. After awhile, I realized that everyone was serious--they actually thought that I was gay.

In America, this kind of mistake would never happen. I have the Southern Drawl when I speak. Most of my normal clothes consist of jeans, t-shirts, wifebeaters, and workout gear. I love guns and hunting.

A lot of young Japanese males dress in a style that some Americans call "metrosexual." I've seen many Japanese men wearing anything from tight, flashy jeans with white belt dotted with rhinestones to expensive hair perms. Yet, the Japanese girls thought I was gay.

For awhile, I thought someone at work hated me and was spreading false rumors. Then, I finally discovered the source of this misconception during a conversation with a Japanese coworker named Mizuho. She asked me what kind of men I liked. By now, I was beginning to get pissed.

"Where did you get the idea that I was gay?" I asked her.

"You're not gay?!" Mizuho said, surprised.

"No!" I said. "Who told you that bullshit?"

"No one," she said. "It's the way you dress. You wear tank tops."

"Tank tops?" I asked, a little confused at this point.

"Usually Western men who wear tank tops, work out, and have muscles are gay," Mizuho said.

I laughed at her. I have heard many stereotypes in my lifetime, but this topped my list as one of the most absurd. According to her logic, I guess most Western athletes are gay. I waved her over to the window and gestured down to the street below where hundreds of Japanese were walking. "See those young men there," I said, pointing to a group of teenagers who were dressed too flashy for even a gay club in North America.

Mizuho nodded.

"People in America would assume that they're gay."

"Uso!" she said.

"I'm not lying. Let's call in Ann," I said. Ann was my coworker from Texas. We called her in and I showed her to the window. "Ann, which would you is gayer: Those guys down there in the street, or me?"

Ann raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Mizuho thinks I'm gay because I wear tank tops and work out."

For a moment, Ann looked at me like I was telling her a bad joke. Then, she burst out laughing. "Dion...gay? No, Mizuho. You got it wrong. Dion is a redneck! Repeat it after me: redneck!"

From that day forth, I made some slight adjustments to how I dressed over there. Almost instantly, the local girls' gave me the reactions that I had in America. Who would have thought that a culture would equate homosexuality with working out or bodybuilding. The Japanese culture books never mentioned anything on this...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Being Friends With Exes = Retarded

Apparently, my male-stripping profession makes me some type of relationship guru. I've received several e-mails asking what type of girls to look for and what type to avoid. Answering each one of these e-mails privately has become quite time consuming, so I'm going to post my common advice.

Some of this advice can apply to the female readers as well, unless it's otherwise obvious.

For today, I'm going to focus on the disqualifying factors for a relationship. You don't need to date someone if he or she is associated with any of the qualities below:

1.) Friends with exes (or former fuck buddies).

In this day and age, the concept of remaining friends with exes has become quite common. No wonder the divorce rate steadily climbs higher. Never ever commit to someone who's determined to remain friends with an ex. Staying friends with exes (or fuck buddies) while investing in a new relationship is both inappropriate and unfair to your new partner. I strongly advise against dating people who can't let go of their past.

2.) "I need romance (in order to have sex with you)."

Guys, if a girl ever tells you this load of bullshit, then she's just not attracted to you anymore. Therefore, she needs romance as a substitute for attraction to have sex with you. Keep this in mind: Women never need romance for one-night stands. The girl who went to the club, got drunk, and hooked up with a random stranger was just craving a dick. So if your girl has ever had a one-night stand, but demands romance out of you, then I suggest you find a different girl.

Or the flip side to this:

3.) "I watch too much porn."

Ladies, if your man rarely fucks you, but always masturbates to porn, then he's just not attracted to you. Don't get me wrong, porn is great in moderate amounts---I'm a huge fan of it. But a man is living in a fantasy when he forgoes actual pussy for his favorite Internet porn star video.

Men, think of it like this: Your favorite porn fantasies are the equivalent of some women's favorite romance novel fantasies. The absurdity of you becoming the exotic prince of her romantic desires is tantamount to your woman taking a rough anal pounding and finishing you off with a blowjob while enjoying every bit of it. It's not likely to happen...unless your woman is into that kind of thing already.

4.) "I have trust issues, because my ex..."

If you're an honest person, then why do you have to pay for something that someone else has done in the past? For instance, just because someones ex cheated on him/her, doesn't mean you will. People with trust issues will treat you as if you will either lie, cheat, or stab them in the back.

I'm not advocating that you have to trust someone with complete and utter devotion from day one. Trust is earned, not dictated. What I'm saying is that your partner shouldn't place unfair accusations and suspicions on you because someone fucked him/her over in the past.

5.) Random psychological issues

I'll start this with a personal example.

When I was 23, I was fucking this hot blonde on a regular basis. After only a week of knowing her, she told me that her uncle used to molest her. I was pissed---not at her uncle, but at her. Whether or not her story was true, she was seeking attention. Even if it were true, why would she give out this information to someone she has only known for a damn week!?

She became angry when I didn't give her the typical sympathetic response. What did she want me to do about it? Beat the shit out of her uncle? Pat her on the back and offer to take care of her? Basically, her sob story about her uncle was only the prelude to other dramatic experiences in her life. I told her that she needed to resolve her problems on her own, or seek professional help---not unload it all on me. I soon cut contact with her, because she would have dragged me into her mess of a life story.

The moral of this story is to avoid dating anyone with deep psychological issues. Unless you want to act as a free therapist 24/7, I recommend dating someone who is normal. Therefore, your relationship starts out without any problems and you don't have to fix anything. Trying to become a savior for a self-destructive person will only result in a destructive lifestyle for yourself because you'll be carrying the weight of their emotional burden.

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Well, there you have it. Those are the negative qualities to avoid in prospective partners. Follow this advice and you'll weed out a lot of potential drama in future relationships.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Male Stripping Questions - Part 20

I forgot to answer the last part of Jake's e-mail during my last update. I also received another e-mail regarding male stripper porn videos.

I'll start with Jake's question:

How successful are you at picking up girls? Can you easily get a girl you want? Looking forward to your other advice.


When it comes to single women who share the same interests as I do, then I guess I'm pretty successful. Out of the last five girls I really wanted, I succeeded in getting with all five.

However, I had a much different story when I was younger. Hell, I hardly used to get laid before I became a male stripper.

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Now here was the question about the porn videos:

Hi Dion. Are you familiar with CFNM (clothed female nude male) vidoes on the net? in case you havent they are videos of a male stripper having sex with many women at a party. do you think this is real? Or fake? have you done anything like this?


Yes, I have heard of CFNM. No, these videos are not real in the sense of an authentic male stripper at an actual bachelorette party .

I am very sure that a porn studio sets up these "sex parties" and everyone in the video is tested before having sex. If these videos are selling in the United States, then the porn company has to ensure compliance with Code 2257. Therefore, these videos of the male strippers and the crazy girls fucking them are really just a bunch of porn actors doing their job.

Do you really think that a bunch of girls having fun at a bachelorette (hen) party will allow a camera crew to video tape them blowing a male stripper so everyone on the Internet can see?

Another fake aspect of these videos is the fact that every girl is usually attractive. At a real bachelorette/hen party, there is a large mixture of beautiful, ugly, plain, fat, skinny, average girls.

One last thing: A room full of girls won't have unprotected sex with a male stripper...usually.

To conclude, these male stripper videos are simply just porn. While the videos may resemble some aspects of a male stripping job, they greatly exaggerate the circumstances. The occasional girl who blows the male stripper in reality becomes a frequent room of girls who take turns sucking male-stripper cock in the porn video.

For those with any questions or comments, feel free to e-mail me: sinistralmetal@yahoo.com

Male Stripping Questions - Part 19

Thanks to all you readers out there. You and your e-mails give me motivation to continue this blog. Here's another e-mail.

Hey Dion

Great blog. I envy you and your lifestyle. lol I do have a few questions. Has anyone man wanted to fight you because of jealousy? Like a dude's girl was coming onto you and he got pissed?

How successful are you at picking up girls? Can you easily get a girl you want? Looking forward to your other advice.

Thanks man!

Jake


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I've seen a few jealous guys in my time. For the most part, I don't go out of my way to screw with their girlfriends/wives/crushes, but they find a reason to hate me anyway (though when I was younger I did). Some guys want to fight me; these are usually rednecks. Most of the others guys content themselves to indirectly yelling threats.

Here are a few encounters I had:

1.) 2004 - I performed for a girl's birthday party. There were both college girls and guys present. Most of the guys left as soon as I started stripping. After my performance, three of the girls invited me to go to the clubs afterward. They offered to pay for everything as long as I would drive, so I tagged along. I went to the club and danced with all three girls.

As I was driving the girls back from the clubs, one of the girl's boyfriend called and demanded where she was. She told him that she was with her two friends and "the stripper." He became so enraged that I could hear every word he started screaming to her through the phone. He told her that he was going to kill me as soon as I showed up. She tried to calm him down. He became even angrier.

I told the girl that if he boyfriend put his hands on me, then I would send him to the hospital. I don't know if he heard me or not through the phone, but as soon as I showed up to drop the girls off, he was nowhere in sight. Even worse for him, his girlfriend gave me her phone number.

2.) 2003 - Cowboy bar. A family reserved a section of the bar and wanted me to strip for a lady who was turning forty. Her husband paid me. They wanted me to wear a cowboy outfit.

As soon as I entered the bar, I saw over a hundred people. Most of the men wore cowboy hats, along with some of the girls. My heart sank when I saw the reserved section---it was in plain view of the whole bar.

I began to strip for the birthday lady. Her family and friends treated me well, giving me a substantial tip. They were all kind and generous. I looked out beyond them into the rest of the crowd and saw some young girls smiling at me. One girl beckoned me over with her finger. Another waved a dollar to get my attention. Near them, I saw some cowboys with faces darkened with anger. I stayed in the reserved area.

After the performance, a gigantic cowboy bouncer told me that he was going to escort me out. "A lot of boys in here are jealous 'cause of you gettin' all the attention from the ladies," he said. I looked at the crowd and saw many friendly female faces, but equally as many menacing male faces. The birthday lady's husband offered to walk me out as well. Both of the men accompanied to my car. Without them, I might have had some trouble.

3.) 2007 - College apartment. A mother and father hired me to strip for their daughter's 21st birthday.

Unfortunately, there were college guys in attendance, although most of them vacated the living room as soon as I started my routine. I stripped for the birthday girl in front of her friends, while the parents stayed in the kitchen. The girls seemed to enjoy themselves. They cheered me on as I did push-ups over the birthday girl, burying my crotch into her face with each push-up.

Then, a college boy passed by the living room and said, "If he touches my girl, I'll kick the shit outta him."

I stopped my routine and looked up at him. I noticed he wasn't even looking at me.

"Let me get something straight," I said. "I'm not here to mess with your girl, or try to steal her from you. If she doesn't want me around her, then I go to somebody else. Your insecure attitude will make you to lose her faster than anything I could ever do. And by the way, you won't do shit to me."

The whole room went silent with the exception of the radio. Without a word, the college boy left the room. One girl laughed. I apologized to the whole room for the encounter, but the girls took sides with me. I finished my routine without seeing the college boy again.

********

A few more jealous-man incidents have occurred, but I either listed them before or cannot recall them now. Either way, these situations don't happen often. When they do happen, they happen with little to no provocation on my part.

Ironically, I don't recall dealing with any jealous man when I was actually was interacting a little too much with his girl.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Getting Laid - Physical Appearance

I have received a few e-mails asking me advice on how to get girls. There are so many factors involved on attracting women: attitude, status, personality, common interests, and appearance. I'll get into each of these, but for now, I'm going to just focus on personal appearance.

Believe it or not, appearance becomes very important when you want to attract someone. Don't believe that horseshit that says, "Appearance doesn't matter at all." Yes it does. It matters a lot. If appearance didn't matter at all, then there would be no such thing as strippers, porn stars, and models. People say that appearance doesn't matter because they don't want to sound shallow. But in truth, we humans are shallow, and we focus a lot on looks. No one wants to fuck something that looks repulsive.

Contrary to what you have heard, women place a lot of value on looks. Unlike men, however, attitude and personality factors more into the equation. For example, a woman can look at a man within the first two seconds of meeting him and determine whether or not he's attractive. This initial reaction is the first step. Next, she talks to the man for a few minutes and comes to a conclusion whether or not she can fuck him. So basically, a woman can determine whether a man is fuckable within the first five minutes of talking to him. If she finds the man unattractive during this time, then the man has little hope of getting laid. While it's important for a man to learn good social skills, it's equally important for him to be good looking enough to spark attraction during those first two seconds.

So, if want to look attractive to the most women possible, then here are the types of looks NOT to do:

1.) Dreadlocks (a.k.a. shitlocks)


If you're white, then don't even attempt to pull of this look if you ever want to get laid by a girl who bathes on a regular basis. Just by having this hair, you weed out 99.99% of prospective girls by your ragged appearance alone. The rest of the .01% simply lowered their standards. My advice: Lose the homeless bum look and cut those clumps of shit.

Another variation of this hippie look is the shaggy hair and beard. I noticed that a lot of college kids sport this look now. I also noticed that they never have a girl, or they have a nasty girl.

2.) Emo/Scene Look


Another great look to have if you want to spend many lonely nights jacking off to anime porn while crying yourself to sleep. Most women will think you're a pussy if you sport this look, especially if you wear the tight jeans that cling to your skinny legs. Of course, some guys with this look may attract other emo girls, but that's like trying to fish out of a small pond when there's a huge ocean out there.

And leave the tight jeans style for the girls to wear.

3. Metrosexual


Okay, I said it's great to take care of yourself, but this is too much. You don't need to spend more time getting ready than your date. Unless you're trying to pick up people at a gay club, then don't bother with this look. If you do, then you're sure to piss off some gay people for misleading them with your metro style.

4. Computer Nerd



If you look like the stereotypical computer programmer (above), then chances are that women don't want to sleep with you, even if you are one of the smartest guys at your university. I'm just talking about looks, not profession. You can still be a computer programmer, but don't sport the wimpy look with the nasal voice. My cousin graduated with a computer science degree and works as a programmer, but he is jacked like brick shithouse, wears wifebeaters, and talks like an army drill sergeant...and he gets pussy.

5. Gangsta-Wannabe


The only girls who ever would hook up with these guys are the girls who also dress like this or just have low IQs. If you're trying for that intimidating gangsta look, then the only things that you're going to intimidate are your chances of having sex... ever, unless you pay for it. No one thinks that you're cool or tough. They just laugh. I don't think any girl gets wet when she looks at your hat tipped sideways, the baggy shorts that come down to your chicken-leg ankles, and your awkward, limp-wrist gang signs. If I ever had a son and he walked home looking like one of these kids, the beating I would give him would resemble a bloodbath.

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Now that I've covered the looks to avoid, let's go over what you should do. As a male stripper, my goal was to attract the most women across the broad spectrum as possible. That means I didn't have a specific demographic in mind. So with that said, I recommend the following:

1.) Exercise - You don't have to be jacked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but most women admire a well-proportioned physique with abs. Some women may say that they prefer skinny guys, a husky man, or such, but having a good physique NEVER hurts. You're also more likely to attract a larger variety of women, regardless of the type of men they're into.

2.) Decent clothes - You don't have to dress like a metrosexual guy, but don't dress like a damned hippie either. Hell, wearing a nice t-shirt with jeans would make you presentable as long as you look like you showered recently. You don't have to spend money on name brand clothes either. Believe it or not, most people beyond high school aren't going to make a big fuss if your t-shirt comes from Wal Mart instead of Hollister. And DON'T EVER WEAR SOCKS WITH SANDALS. That combination dries up pussy faster than any arid desert can.

3.) Short, well-groomed hair - If you're going to have long hair, then have nice hair at least. Don't try to look like your favorite rock band. No girl ever looked at Jerry Garcia or Willie Nelson and thought of them as sexy. Those guys got laid because of their fame and fortune, not because of their shitty hair. As for short hair, a little grooming is nice if it's longer than a military buzz cut. If you overdo it, women will just assume you're gay, which is not the desired effect (unless you swing that way).

4.) Avoid excessive piercings/tattoos - Women who are into piercings and tattoos are likely to admire these. However, with excessive piercings and tattoos, you are likely to weed out a girl who prefers a more clean-cut guy. If you don't have any tattoos or piercings, you don't hurt your chances with a girl who loves tattoos and piercings (and you can always get some later). Did you hear me there? A lack of tattoos and piercings cause the least negative impression among most. That is what you should aim for.

Tattoos are a great way to show self-expression, but so is a t-shirt. You can change a t-shirt when you tire of the design, but you can't change a tattoo so easily.

5.) Posture - Stand up straight. Be a fucking man. Quit slouching and sagging everywhere you go. If you slouch, then you better work on your posture. Chances are that most women will notice your slouch during the first two seconds of meeting you. Women like a manly posture, so lift that chin up and make eye contact. Exercise also helps your posture.

There you have it. A male stripper's advice on physical appearance. Some may argue that getting a women is 100% about personality, but physical appearance plays a significant role in addition to personality. Neglecting your physical appearance reflects upon your personality. If an ugly man and a handsome man enter a room with a similar personality and an equivalent amount of charm, then the handsome man will more than likely attract more women. In the very least, having a nice appearance will never do you any harm, except attract undesired attention.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Male Stripping Questions - Part 18

I received this e-mail a few days ago:

Hi Dion,

I really enjoyed reading your post from Sep. 26 about the blowjobs.

I have a related question about the blowjobs. What percentage of the women who have given you bj´s were married women and/or bride to be´s and how many were younger single women ?

Also, if you have had full on sex with women at the parties, how many were married, or brides to be as opposed to single girls ?


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This is a tough question to answer, because I would have to sit down and remember each situation to give an accurate statistic. So I'm just going to give a rough estimate.

Almost 50% percent of the women who gave me a blowjob were married or engaged. Out of this statistic, some of the married women were in an open marriage, meaning their husbands could care less whether their wives were sucking me off. The soon-to-be-married women were simply cheating. Their girlfriends often told them that "it was the last night to enjoy being single."

The other 50% percent of the single women fall into two groups: younger women and older women. So roughly about 25% of the women that gave me blowjobs at these parties were younger, single women. These women were drunk and horny, and were often egged on by their friends.

In regards to actual sex, I did it more with single women. Sex usually requires more effort than a blowjob. So if I was going to put forth such effort, then I sure as hell wasn't going to waste my time working on a girl who was already with another man, especially if there are other single women around.