Monday, December 29, 2014

Worst Trend of 2014: The Lumbersexual

Back when I first started stripping in college in 2003, the metrosexual was the biggest fashion fad among male students. Even South Park covered an episode about it that same year called, "South Park Is Gay!" This wasn't exactly a bad trend for male strippers. Maximus, a fellow coworker of mine, indulged in it.

Lumbersexuality: The new trend of millenials. Image courtesy of Stockrocket/Getty Images

Since then, the metrosexuals have grown older, got married, and had kids, and decided to replace fashion with comfort. Hipsters have taken their place, populating colleges, cities, and coffee shops. Now the "Lumbersexual" has arrived, which is like a more rugged version of the metrosexual and hipster, sporting a poofy beard accompanied by a plaid shirt or suspenders.

In her detailed article, "Out of the Woods: Here He Comes: The Lumbersexual," Holly Baxter refers to them as men who carefully groom themselves, especially their beards, in an attempt to mimic the rugged outdoors look. She has a point. Big bushy beards have been cropping up everywhere with the young guys who can grow them. While that's nice and all, you may want to avoid this trend, especially if you're trying to become a male stripper.

First off, some younger girls may like the bearded lumberjack or even hipster look, but there are many others who will detest it. In the world of stripping, all women are customers, therefore the man must try to be universally appealing to as many as possible. This bearded look only attracts a niche market.

Also, male strippers often have to wear costumes that depict men of uniform. Imagine the lumbersexual type dressed in a cop uniform, or firefighter, or military uniform. These professions require men to be clean-shaven. Ever seen a drill sergeant or cop with a bushy beard? Didn't think so.

Here's another problem with the lumberjack look. It falls into the category of "trying too hard." If you have to go out of your way to show off your manliness, then chances are you're not that manly. Spending extra time trimming and manicuring your beard is tantamount to the metrosexual guy who spends that much time styling his hair with gel.

While it's nice that the lumbersexual wants to look more rugged and manly than his metrosexual and hipster counterparts, there's already a group of outdoors men who have been doing that for a while now. They're called rednecks.

Here's my advice. Grow a beard only if it looks good on you, or to hide your double-chin or lack of jawline. These excessively bushy beards aren't appealing to employers. Personally, I'll keep mine shaved. The last thing I need is to give a girl's breasts carpet burn when I'm fishing a dollar out from her bra with my teeth.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Stripping: A Dishonorable Position

A high school teacher living a double life gets fired for being a male stripper on the side.


Stripping is one of those jobs that carries a negative connotation with society in general. Even though it's a booming market that will always be in demand, people associate stripping with the sex industry, many times looking down on the workers. Even male strippers earn some of the social stigma of their female counterparts, though not to such a strong degree. Therefore, it's no surprise that if you strip at some point in your life, it can come back to haunt you in the future.

Benedict Garrett was one such casualty. He lost his job as a high school teacher because his students found out that was a stripper side (read the full story: here). Garrett also worked as an adult movie star. Of course, Garrett disagreed with the notion that "porn and stripping has a negative effect on society." He further argued that other teachers aren't so perfect themselves.

He has a point. Many professional jobs would fire an employee if word got out that he or she worked as a stripper or porn star. Interestingly enough, not all profession jobs would fire an employee for having a minor criminal record. Strange, isn't it? It's better to commit a misdemeanor crime than to work in a perfectly legal occupation.

I've heard many degrading terms about male strippers. In the comments section of this blog post (click here to read), Mustang Sarah uses the terms "insecurity, narcissism, and irresponsibility" to describe all male strippers, even though her only experience with one was a guy she dated. I've even had one guy criticize me for "giving up my dignity so a bunch of whores could treat me like a piece of meat." As Garrett noted, many people feel that stripping has a negative effect on society.

Is that really the case? Do strippers, especially male strippers (for sake of this blog), really cause problems in society.

No. Negative individuals and their destructive collectivism cause problems.

For instance, I also worked as a teacher like Benedict Garrett and stripped on the side too. As a teacher, many people treated me with respect for working a noble profession. Take this article, for instance. However, I have gotten to know many teachers, and I assure you that some of them shouldn't be around children.

Several male teachers, whom I have worked with, took a very unhealthy interest in their high school students. If I had a daughter, she sure as hell wouldn't be going into their classes. One teacher has since married a female student. Another got fired for dating a former student. And another, who used to be my teacher when I was in high school, got arrested for possessing child pornography.

So are male strippers the problem here? No. Are teachers the problem? No, the bad individuals are the problem. You have bad strippers and bad teachers. They're just bad employees, and they slide through the cracks at every job.

Many male strippers are just like Benedict Garrett and myself -- they work professional jobs and strip on the side. According to one of my agents, many of his male dancers work as lawyers, teachers, firefighters, personal trainers, and bankers. The list goes on. Many of his younger male dancers are college students or guys going to into medical school. Just because they're male strippers doesn't mean they're deadbeats who with no goals in life.

Some male strippers are scumbags and fit the stereotype that Mustang Sarah alluded to, but so are some cops, teachers, politicians, priests, and doctors.  Hell, I knew a federal law enforcement agent who was the biggest liar and crook that I have ever met, and he cheated on his wife with prostitutes constantly, but his position is one that prides itself on honesty and integrity, and everyone assumed he was a good guy on first impressions based on his job. Therefore, judge an individual by his or her personality and virtues, not by status and position.

Unfortunately, many people out there still like to label themselves and others into groups, all complete with generalizations and stereotypes. It's human nature, and until humans stop being humans, you probably shouldn't list your ventures into the stripping and porn industry on your resume if you're ever planning a professional career. Mr. Garrett had some great points, but he just wasn't careful enough.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Critiquing Applicants - Part 3

Welcome to yet another edition of "Critiquing Applicants." This time, we have several young men who think they have what it takes to appeal to crowds of eager women. Let's see how they fare:

Aleashauntea raps and strips for your party!
Male Stripper Applicant #07

Stage Name: Aleashauntea

There are some people on this planet with over-inflated egos, and there's this guy. Here's his e-mail to an agency:

My name is (removed) I a am 26 and in shape.I live in Panama city FL.I have done a little striping Web I was a young teen but nothing recently.I am of athletic build about 126 pounds and I love to dance.I am about 5'6.I have car and I have a day job. My stage name is Aleashauntea and my cell is (removed) and my email is (removed).

Aleashauntea, I have some advice for you. You'd better stick with whatever day job you're doing because there's no career for you in the exotic dancer industry.

Notice that Aleashauntea describes himself as "in shape" and having an "athletic build." He's also 5'6" and weighs 126 pounds. That's a good figure to have... if you're a college girl.

Like my professional backdrop?
Now take a look at his pictures. He included one professional pic that was probably taken in a recording studio. That's nice and all, but it has nothing to do with stripping, and it's a very dark pic that obscures the applicant's features.

My favorite pic is of Aleashauntea in the backseat of a car with a girl next to him. Imagine what was going on in this guy's mind when applying. He's wanting to show his best pictures, so he chooses the backseat of a car out of all the backdrops available to represent himself. The cropped girl is a bonus prop. Unfortunately, this photo showed off his facial profile the best. It only gets worse from here.

Now check out his selfie pic on the left. It's the only pic that shows his whole body clad in clothes in a dark and dingy house. Perhaps Aleashauntea thinks the combination of that 126 lbs. athletic build in ambient lighting must drive the ladies wild.

Then there's the stage name: Aleashauntea. For starters, it's too long and difficult to pronounce, making it impossible to remember. Hell, I developed carpal tunnel syndrome from typing that excessively long name out several times in this article. It doesn't sound very manly or cool, nor is it catchy.

Seriously, Aleashauntea needs to check himself for narcissistic personality disorder because he obviously overestimates his looks and abilities. I wonder what kind of stripping he did on the web as a teen... for NAMBLA members? I can't imagine anyone shelling out money for this guy.

There's just one thing I wonder about. Since he's so delusional about his appearance, imagine how he is with his music... It probably sucks too.

Final Verdict: REJECTED

Male Stripper Applicant #08

Stage name: Gemini

Real Name: Provided
DOB: Provided
Experience: Several clubs in New Orleans such as Rainbow Room, Corner Pocket, and Bourbon Pub.
Transportation: Yes
Stage name-Gemini
Height-6'0 ft
Cell: Provided
Costumes: 2
Email: Provided
References: Provided

On paper, Gemini looks good to go, but the pictures tell a different story. Before we judge him too much, let's analyze his work history at these clubs.

First off, my agent was already aware of the aforementioned clubs (Rainbow Room, Corner Pocket, etc.). Those clubs are gay clubs, and they are inadequate references when applying for booking agencies and male revue acts because the expectations are different with female customers versus male customers. Plus, the quality of male strippers who have worked at these clubs range from good to downright atrocious.

Some of these gay clubs aren't very picky when it comes to muscularity and showmanship.

Gemini shows off his eye liner.
The gay club dancers come in different varieties than the bachelorette party or male revue strippers. Some are very skinny and don't lift weights at all (like Gemini here), yet they can attract more customers than the typical beefcake guys. These skinny guys are referred to as "twinks" and they function quite well in the gay club setting.

On a side note, here's what one reader, Ron, said about the Corner Pocket where Gemini claimed to work: "It is basically a seedy little dive bar in the French Quarter that has been there for ages. The dancers are typically rough trade/redneck types-- according to legend, the original owner would recruit dancers by going to the Greyhound station and waiting for buses from the state penitentiary. It is a beloved local institution and a friendly place to get a drink and meet crazy characters, but it is not Chippendales!"

In Gemini's case, he may appeal to the customers who like twinks, hence his previous success in those gay clubs. However, he has no shot at any agency or male revue company unless he bulks up.

Overall, Gemini needs to stick to the gay clubs and make his money there. His body fails to justify a $200 an hour price tag for women. His pictures are too grainy and taken in poor lighting conditions. The serious expression looks creepy, especially in the dark setting. He needs to smile to look more approachable, especially when he's applying to work for female customers.

On a side note, Gemini isn't a bad stage name.

Final Verdict: REJECTED

Male Stripper Applicant #09

Stage Name: Imperial

Imperial didn't apply at my agency. Instead, he applied at an agency based in Hong Kong. He is a British Born Chinese and will be the only Asian male stripper for the agency located in Hong Kong. Believe it or not, most of the other male strippers there are white.

Imperial sent other pics with his face, but asked that I not show it due to his professional job, so that's why only the gladiator pic of him is posted.

My agent (based in the United States) also saw Imperial's pics, and said that he would hire him in an instant. Imperial has good muscularity, low body fat, and good symmetry. In this picture along with several others, he shows his legs, chest, and abs. Unlike most applicants, he doesn't hide anything.

On top of that, Imperial indicated that he understands the showmanship and customer service required for stripping, something of which many guys don't get. This guy gets it, and any agency would benefit from having him among their roster.

Final Verdict: HIRED

College Entertainers' #1 stripper
Male Stripper Applicant #10

Stage Name: Red Fire

Name: Wiley
Location: Tallahassee, Florida
Date of birth: Provided
Stripping Experience: One year at College Entertainers
Transportation: Yes
Cell phone number: Provided
E-mail: Provided
Costumes: None
Stage Name: Red Fire
Height: 6'4"

"This guy is a dumbass," my agent told me.

First, Wiley sent the above information without a picture. The stripping experience portion of it looked great, especially the part where he worked a year at "College Entertainers."

For those of you not from Florida, here's a little background about Tallahassee, Florida. In addition to being the capital of Florida, it is home to Florida State University and its football team, the Seminoles. Therefore, it's a college town with loads of students everywhere.

Wiley, being a Tallahassee local, knew of the college demographics and therefore fabricated the company with the generic name of "College Entertainers" so he'd looked more experienced. My agent knew that Wiley was full of shit, though.

"I know about most of agencies out there in Florida, and there ain't a single one of 'em called that," my agent said. "To give him a benefit of the doubt, I asked for a pic and got this shitty ass-end of a joke. No company in their right minds would ever hire this lanky greaseball. College Entertainers, my ass!"

Final Verdict: REJECTED

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Brides Cheating at Bachelorette Parties

Q: Dion, my fiance is having a bachelorette party, and a male stripper will be there. Should I be worried? Do brides cheat on their husbands with male strippers at bachelorette parties? If so, what percentage of them cheat?

A: First off, the male stripper isn't the problem here. The real issue is either the lack of faith you have in your fiance, or the lack of faithfulness she has towards you. You should be more worried if this woman is really the right woman for you, since you don't know if she'd sleep with a complete stranger behind your back.

Now onto answering your question.

Yes, there are brides somewhere out there who have cheated on their future husbands with a male stripper. However, the percentage of brides and male strippers hooking up is actually pretty low. The percentage of brides and random guys at a club hooking up are much higher.

Think about it.

Bachelorette parties tend to hit the clubs and bars after the male stripper performs. The girls get drunk, dance, and mingle all night long. Random men approach them, some preying on the girls' inebriated state. These guys have plenty of time to build a rapport and seal the deal.

Throwing alcohol in that mix doesn't help either. Alcohol loosens inhibitions, which causes people to make poor decisions, such as pick fights with the police or sleep with random strangers.

Now combine the club atmosphere, a group of girls from a bachelorette party, alcohol, and a bunch of horny guys, and you have a good recipe for some bad mistakes to happen.

Here's one reader's recent account of what he had witnessed at a club:

I went out last Friday and saw this beautiful bachelorette in a white short dress. She was dancing with her girlfriends then later started dancing with some dude in the middle on the dance floor. I guess she was feeling him and started making out for 2 minutes straight. Her girlfriends just watched in disbelief, then separated her from the guy and took her home. I was like, damn, if her girlfriends weren't there, she would've gotten fucked for sure.

See? That bride made out with someone at the club instead of a male stripper. Going to back to the original question, stop blaming the male stripper for suspicions of your fiance's infidelity.

Cheating stems from an innate desire to do so. If your fiance wants to sleep with another man, she's going to do it whether a male stripper is there or not. Of course, a combination of alcohol and a muscular stud present may accelerate that process, but it was a process in motion to begin with.

Rather than trying to stop this bachelorette party from happening, you should evaluate whether your future wife is the type of girl who likes to go out and do crazy things behind your back. If she does, then maybe you should reconsider marriage, because you cannot put her in a cage and control her every behavior.

Just remember: Even a caged animal has urges.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

A Male Stripper's Take on Julien Blanc's Tactics

Julien Blanc. Age 26.

Unless you're a fugitive from justice living in the hills, you've probably heard of the international dating expert, Julien Blanc, by now. His seminar about approaching Japanese women (and women in general) has become quite the controversial fodder for the media to feed on lately. Some people consider his unorthodox methods bordering on the realm of sexual assault. Don't take my word for it; watch the video here:

There's a full, unedited version of the video here.

Given the nature of the internet, people online often cut snippets of what someone says or does and edits them to manipulate the message to further a specific agenda. Therefore, I gave Julien Blanc the benefit of the doubt and sought an unedited version of his seminar about Japanese girls to see if his critics were twisting his message. They weren't. Julien Blanc's methods are some of the most filthy ways to "pick up" women short of slipping pills into their drinks.

As a male stripper, I earn money based on my ability to appeal and entertain women on a universal level. After over ten years on the job, I feel that I'm somewhat versed in the subject and find that my best interactions with women result from a mutual respect, meaning we both like each other and try to make the other person happy. In fact, I can attribute the majority of my success of career and dating from amiable reciprocation.

So believe me when I say this, but the advice depicted in the above video doesn't work. Relying on treating another human being with outright disrespect solely for personal gain will make you a hated person really quick, which defeats the purpose of "seducing" women because the whole point is to make them like you.

Also, most of Blanc's tactics would possibly land you criminal charges if you were to try that in public. Grabbing a girl's head and forcing it towards your crotch against her will is called "lewd and lascivious" where I'm from. Others call it "assault" or even "battery." Granted, perhaps he was already hanging out with these girls and they were cool with it, but even if they were, he was trying to portray to the audience something like, "Hey, look at me! This bitch is on my dick. I'm cool now!"

Notice near the end of the video where he's grabbing women or trying to kiss the cashier at the store, the girls are trying to GET AWAY from him. He's telling guys that this shit is "super effective" with girls, but it's not. The Japanese girls in the video look fearful, as if unsure of how to react at the sudden assault. Some of the girls were laughing because they were extremely nervous. That cashier looked trapped, like she wanted to be somewhere else but there. This crap isn't picking girls up. It's sexual harassment, plain and simple. Again, maybe he needed some "shocking material" to catch viewers attention. In that case, he was successful...

You may ask, "But Dion, don't you put your crotch in girls' faces at your bachelorette parties?" Yes, but there's a huge difference. It's consensual. Not just verbally, but I watch the body language and the girl's reaction. If she doesn't want me on her, I move onto somebody else. I even tell a girl to let me know if she doesn't want to participate. Another thing is that these girls are paying for me to pull these stunts, which I only do on willing participants. Julien Blanc finds unwilling participants who don't even know him, and he downright molests them.

If you're one of those guys who actually thinks Blanc's methods work (you probably paid to attend his seminar too, right?), then do yourself a favor and look at the female comments on all of his dating advice videos on Youtube. None of them have anything good to say about the guy. If the general public has that opinion on such tactics, then common sense should dictate that it's time to try something else!

Now I've worked in Japan as an English teacher for almost two years and became almost fluent in Japanese. I would even boast that I understand Japanese culture a lot better than the average Westerner. I've dated and hooked up with a few Japanese girls while I was over there, and even had my own Japanese girl fan club where I worked (that's a story for another time). I managed to attract Japanese girls by acting like a gentleman and treating them well. I assure you that I did not grab a girl's head and guided to my dick, or try to forcefully kiss a random store clerk.

Julien Blanc aims at Japanese girls because they are less confrontational (on average) than their western counterparts, making them easier targets to prey upon. They're less likely to beat your ass and scream at you if you try to kiss them forcefully in public. His other videos claim that if a girl outright says, "no!" then to back away. Well, some of these girls freeze up and might not be able to say no. I can tell by the those Japanese girls' body language in that video that they're screaming, "NO!!"

The PUAs market their "dating expertise" as a one-size-fits-all glove. They'll tell you that your looks, body type, income, and social status don't matter because it's all about "the game" and your approach (I'll pull of a few examples later on this). They'll tell you that you can get a "perfect ten" by attitude alone. Why do they do this? Because it's the path of least resistance. It's easier to change the words you say to someone than to change your lifestyle, daily habits, and job. Do you think a pickup artist would get more sales if he claimed that you'd get more girls if you looked good, owned a house, and worked as a doctor? Hell no, because not everyone can look good, own a home, and be a doctor.

So for you guys out there looking to get women, stop idolizing and following garbage spouted by these self-proclaimed "dating experts" or PUAs in attempted to "seduce the hottest girls." Getting a girl is a very dynamic process that changes with each individual, and can't be summed up by some pre-planned approach. There is no pickup advice shaped like a one-size-fits-all glove. Each girl has her own taste for men, and finds different traits appealing.

Some people have argued with me on this and said, "But Dion, you have muscles and you strip and model... It's easy for you to get girls!" Well, I didn't always have muscles, and I couldn't keep a girlfriend in high school to save my life. My prom date ditched me at prom because she was embarrassed to be seen with me. Then I started working out, cleaned up my appearance, and dressed better. My chances improved. I graduated college and got a teaching job. My chances improved even more. I own my own house, got an even better job, and started hoarding savings for retirement. My chances are better than ever. And I'm constantly looking for ways to improve myself even now.

See the pattern? You build yourself, you'll build your attraction. You should always be a constant work in motion.

Julien Blanc doesn't teach this. Instead, he teaches men to take the wrong attitude with women, and look where that got him. Just Google his name. You'll see.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Short and Out of Shape

From Eddie M.

Have questions for you about male stripping, im currently 22 years of age and after watching Magic Mike, i dont know why but it inspired me to  become a stripperz,i guess becomes i always been a ladies man, sometimes give lap dances to my girl friends at partys/clubs, not to sound cocky but im attractive, my concerns are im short 5'4, out of shape, so my questions are is there a certain height requirement? What type of body do you have to have to be considered to be hireable by an agent/company's  or get gigs



Being a male stripper has many perks--the limelight, the women, the fun, and easy money--and I can see why the job is appealing to you. However, you have several issues that will prevent you from getting a job.

Problem #1: Your cocky attitude as demonstrated in this quote "not to sound cocky, but I'm attractive... I always been a ladies' man..."  Confidence is a good thing to have, but arrogance will ruin you in this job unless you have a really great look backed up by a deep pool of talent. Many women will seize that arrogance as a chance to verbally pounce on you and bring your ego down several notches. As a common rule, you let the women determine if you're attractive, not the other way around.

Problem #2: You sound like you want this job to satisfy your own pleasure rather than what the customers want. Most companies will get that vibe from you. You need to understand that girls pay a lot of money for a male stripper, so they expect their money's worth of entertainment. If you cannot provide that, then you'll face a roomful of jeering girls. The scenes in Magic Mike sound like fun, but those girls aren't going to fall into the palm of your hand for nothing.

Problem #3: Your age. Most agencies prefer guys who are 25 years or older due to their more mature nature. Younger guys tend to be more unreliable, irresponsible, and cause more problems in general. That's not always the case, of course. I started this job when I was 21.

Problem #4: Your appearance. Wear your hat straight or lose it. Having it tilted to the side looks ridiculous, not tough. That style may work with your circle of friends or at a local high school, but most female customers have professional jobs (or husbands/boyfriends who are very well established) and will view you like an insecure boy.

Out of shape? No problem! Your competition isn't.
Problem #5: As you've claimed, you're out of shape. If you're doing a male revue, imagine being out of shape and standing next to three muscular studs. The girls are flocking to them and ignoring you. Sounds pretty demoralizing, doesn't it? It is. I've seen it happen, and I cringed out of sympathy. You don't want to be THAT guy. You better hit the gym if you're seriously considering this job.

Now everything above is fixable. You can change your appearance, attitude, your muscularity, and you'll eventually mature (hopefully). You cannot fix your next problem...

Problem #6: Height. At 5'4", you'll be shorter than most girls. When you pose for pictures, they will tower over you. In fact, height is the number one complaint against a male stripper (besides punctuality). Just as guys don't want to see a 400 lbs. female stripper, girls don't want to hire a manlet, unless it's a midget stripper per special requests, which you're too tall to be in this case. Also, you won't be able to do any large male revue acts, since they often have a minimum height requirement of 5'10" to 6'0".

Don't let your height discourage you though. I have actually met a male stripper who was 5'4", but he had a hulking bodybuilder physique, a good face, and a soft-spoken personality that appealed to quieter girls. Therefore, his strengths compensated for his flaw.

If you think I'm being rough, then understand that I'm giving you realistic answers. Agents and customers alike will notice these issues with you and address them in a much ruder way. Some women will outright insult you. Popularity with a few ladies in your social circle doesn't equate to universal appeal across the spectrum. The last thing you want to do is go out there and embarrass yourself.

As of right now you don't have a shot, at least when it comes to stripping for women. You might think you do, otherwise you wouldn't have e-mailed me, but you really don't. Work on those problems I listed and then try again. Take all of this criticism as a means to improve yourself.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Time I had Sex with a Male Stripper - Fiona Ellis

(Dion's note: This isn't my story. It was taken from The Fat City Review. You can see the original page here. I put this story up because it demonstrates a female perspective of these encounters, albeit a negative one in this circumstance. There will be a follow up post with my comments about this story.)

The Time I had Sex with a Male Stripper - Fiona Ellis

I went to see Magic Mike at the movie theater on opening night.  The movie itself was okay, but Channing Tatum’s dance moves were the highlight.  As I watched him gyrate onscreen my mind kept wandering back to my very own encounter with a male stripper.   I went to the movies with new friends and did not want to share the story with them, still too embarrassed about the incident, even though it happened almost ten years ago.  Only a few people know the truth of the night with the stripper.

The year was 2003 and I was in my last year at a small liberal arts college in Massachusetts.  I had preceded my final year with three years of equal parts drunkenness and an earnest interest in getting my English Literature degree.  Nights at the library were often followed by nights at dive bars, making eyes at the unsavory man with whom I shared classes, and later, in the early morning hours, finding myself either in a state of undress or at the take-out Chinese restaurant that was open for business until 4am.  It is only now that I can truly appreciate the sense that, at that moment in time, I was just like everyone else, displaying the kind of unabashed debauchery that only comes when I think I have nothing to lose and a future laid out for me; a future that will no doubt bring me money, success, and love.

In the first month of school my six roommates and I, barely able to furnish our apartment, found ourselves responsible for planning our friend Emily’s 21st birthday party.  Emily was the last of our group to celebrate this milestone birthday and we wanted to do something different.

At a serious brainstorming session, one of proportions only equivalent to that of United Nations peace talks, we decide to hire a male stripper.

A week later, twenty five girls gather in our small apartment.  We toss back Bud Lights and enjoy the soft buzz of anticipation spreading through the party as everyone, except the birthday girl, learn of the surprise we have planned for the evening.

There is a knock at the door and the stripper is standing there, not wearing a costume like a police uniform, firefighter gear, or army fatigues, but instead is in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.  He has a shaved head, cut arms and chest, and a small, tight ass.  The group is excited and drunk.  He asks for a place to change and I show him into my bedroom.  Within seconds he changes and emerges from the bedroom wearing a red g-string.  He immediately starts dancing for us, exhibiting his obvious skills as a performer as he bends and twists his body.  As if he was a gymnast in a former life, he twists his body in different and inexplicable directions.  We hoot and holler, giddy from the beer, and watch the nimble contortionist in a banana hammock dance in our living room.

The next day we would learn that our male neighbors, who live a few doors down from us, could hear us cheering and chanting, as we screamed with delight and disbelief at the stripper’s dance moves.  Our male neighbors appear uncomfortable when they tell us they could hear the wickedness of our voices.  They look at us, their sweet and respectable female friends, and they are rendered almost speechless at the idea that we could get riled up by a naked male ass.

The stripper continues to energize the crowd and then suggests private lap dances for the birthday girl and whoever else has the cash to stick into his red g-string.  I grab a chair from the kitchen and put it in the birthday girl’s room.  She goes in alone with him and we try to subdue ourselves by waiting outside, ears pressed against the door.  One of the party guests decides to break into the lap dance room and the party moves into the bedroom as we watch the stripper put his leg over the birthday girl’s shoulder, his crotch a few inches from her face, sweat pouring down his back.  Then he looks at me, and says, “You are next.”

I blush.  His eye contact is unnerving and I feel both appalled and flattered.   The birthday girl runs out of the room and suddenly I am sitting in the chair.  The moments are hazy and I had questionable judgment due to my high intake of alcoholic beverages.  He picks me up, no easy feat, and puts his mouth next to my ear.

“Do you want me to stay and hang out?” he asks me.

I am taken aback by his question.   Confusion sets in.  Why is he asking to hang out with me?  Initially I think that he is a professional, merely singling me out and complimenting me because I look like fun and will give him the few singles I have crumpled in my hand.  A part of me supposes, or hopes, that I entice him and appear so irresistible that he wants to sleep with me.  It suddenly becomes a game.  Out of all the girls at the party, the male stripper wants to spend more time with me.  The alcohol does not allow me to make a lucid decision and I enjoy the drama of the possibility.  I am going to sleep with a male stripper.  When will I ever have this chance again?  I question myself.  This is a sort of test of my limitations.  Am I ready to go this far?  I crave the adrenaline rush of my possible riskiness.

“Sure,” I tell him, “if you want to stay.”

He and I make a quiet agreement and I sneak out to tell my roommates.  They are used to my dubious decisions and patiently request that we send him home.  I say okay to them but know that I will later blame the alcohol for my decision to sneak the stripper into my room.  Truthfully I know that it is not the alcohol but the pursuit of the high I get from lying to my friends that causes me to make my decision.  Later when I tell them the truth of what happened between me and the male stripper, I will watch their faces express shock and dismay at my actions.

The sex is forgettable and sweaty.  Halfway through the act I can barely contain my repulsion with myself.  I am disgusted, not with him, but with my inability to turn down his offer for sex.  After he finishes, we lay in my bed and he tells me about his ex-girlfriend and how he is heartbroken about their recent break-up.  With his head on my arm, he talks and I barely listen.  Instead I look up at the ceiling and pray for the moment when I can interrupt his story and tell him politely that I want him to leave.

Eventually, he leaves.  For the next week, I shower at night, after my roommates have gone to sleep.  And each night I cry, hoping the sound of the water will muffle my pathetic weeping.  I recognize that I have no one to blame but myself for my actions.  My friends had attempted to stifle my need for the thrill of having gratuitous sex.  It is not the sex that I wanted; instead it is the spectacle, the very strangeness of the fact that I have now had sex with a male stripper.  For years I can’t decide if it’s a humorous anecdote to tell friends, or something sad that happened—an incident in my past that I wish to forget.   I still do not know where I stand.  The reality is that I had sex with a male stripper.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Critiquing Applicants - Part 2

Welcome again to another series of "Critiquing Applicants." Once again, several men feel that they are sexy enough to perform in front of a crowd of ladies at $200 an hour. Lucky for you, the reader, and me, one of my agents was kind (or mean) enough to forward me another batch of applicants. Let's see how they fare.

Male Stripper Applicant #04

Stage Name: None Provided

Instead of following directions, this particular applicant attached a few pictures and wrote this message that is really just a long run-on sentence:

hey im Bob (real name changed) ive been doing this myself and with my gf for a year or so we need more work so i thought you may be able to help im 21 6foot8 220lb ican dance spin poi/fire and even do some DJ work 

Judging by the pictures he provided, I can see why he needs more work. He also needs to work on his writing skills; I've seen grade school children put out better writing.

Here's what my agent said: "It's funny when applicants lie about their experience. He claims that he and his girlfriend have been stripping for a year, but he doesn't seem to even know what being a male stripper is about. And the so-called "girlfriend" didn't apply for job, but he's claiming she needs work too. If she were real, wouldn't she have applied too?"

Besides those suspicions, there are several more glaring problems here. First, this guy looks like he had never spent a day in the gym; no visible abs, flat chest, thin arms, and poor taste in tattoos. Seriously, what is with the tattoo on his chest? His pose looks like a feminine slouch. He also fails to show his legs in the pics too, but one can assume that they lack the chiseled refinery just like the rest of his body.

He does have a few good things though. Being tall in this profession is always a good thing, but he's more like a lanky Sasquatch at 6'8" than a stripper. His facial aesthetics are good enough, and he probably may look the part in clothes...until he strips, of course. The strip-o-gram companies don't need DJs, but if he can spin fire, then that's a pretty cool trick for showmanship, although a private bachelorette party wouldn't want him to burn down their living room.

Overall, there really isn't any way an agent can justify charging women for this guy. He didn't follow directions, he doesn't have costumes, and he doesn't fit the requirements. If he is a male stripper, as he claims, then he probably works at a gay club and markets himself as a twink, because the bachelorette parties tend to require more muscular guys.

Final Verdict: REJECTED

"Can be ripped in ten days"
Male Stripper Applicant #05

Stage Name: Slim Goodbody

Slim Goodbody's choice of a stage name is ironic. His e-mails to the company are even better.

Here's his opening message in reference to employment:

Love it
Give me a call (phone number omitted)
That was it. No other information; no pictures. He left a phone number without an area code. Slim must have never met anyone outside his town, because he would know that an area code is required.

On a side note, this example is a great way to stay unemployed. Never contact an employer with such an unprofessional attitude and demand they call you, even if it is a job like stripping. Follow the directions, gauge what the company is looking for, and communicate in a professional and polite manner. Slim's opening message was downright rude.

Nevertheless, my agent gave Slim a short response about following directions and never expected to hear from him again, but lo and behold, Slim responded with his pictures and information:

Real name: Provided
Location: Provided
Date-of-birth: NOT provided (hiding something, Slim?)
Transportation: Yes
Phone number: Provided, but without area code
Stage name: Slim Goodbody
Height: 6'5"

He attached his pictures and included the following message.

"Can be ripped in ten days"

Now judging from his picture, there is no way he can shred enough body fat in ten days to look "ripped." Even if that were possible, Slim lacks the muscle mass to look the part for the job. He, as his stage name implies, is too slim for the job in terms of muscularity.

Slim Goodbody over 15 years ago.
Slim should have gotten ripped first, then applied. Not the other way around. That's like applying for an top-paid engineer position without a degree or any experience and saying, "Well, I can get my engineering degree in four years." Get your qualifications in order before you apply.

We're not done just yet. Slim provided one more picture for the agency to review, which is listed on the right.

There are several things wrong with this photo. First of all, it was obviously taken a while ago, perhaps in Slim's glory days of being in shape and on the basketball team. Second, it shows possible deception on Slim's part, like he's trying to impress upon the viewer that he's a superb athlete. Maybe he was a superb athlete, but that was in the past. Sorry, Slim. Showing the old photo tactic might have worked back towards the beginning of the millennium, but people have caught on now.

Final Verdict: REJECTED

Male Stripper Applicant #06

Stage Name: Golden Boy

Golden Boy followed directions and sent in several pictures. Given the insufficient quality of most male applicants, my agent was pleasantly surprised with this one.

According to the pictures, Golden Boy has a great look, overall. He has the face of a model, and any company could market him based off a head shot alone. Some girls request blonde guys, so he could fill that particular niche too.

Golden Boy is in decent shape, but he is far from top tier in this industry. He doesn't show his legs in any picture. He could fill out his frame some more and tone those abs, because he'd pale in comparison against most of the other established male strippers out there. Under normal circumstances, an agency would dock points for these shortcomings in his physique, but his facial aesthetics more than compensate. Golden Boy is a prime example of how good looks can offset other weaknesses.

Then my agent interviewed him.

"He's only twenty-two and still wet behind the ears," my agent said.

Age can be a touchy issue for male strippers. Agents tend to shirk away from younger guys (under 25) due to a lack of maturity and work ethic.

Here's what another agent summed up about younger guys: "They show up late, or cancel at the last minute, or they use the parties as their personal hookup joint. Whatever it is, they're either unreliable or cause trouble."

Still, Golden Boy has potential in the industry. The agent told him to build up a bit more muscle mass, especially in the chest area, and work on the abs. At 5'11", Golden Boy stands at a good height, and probably won't get complained on. However, most of the work will go to a more established stripper in the area unless Golden Boy can prove himself the better candidate.

Golden Boy has no experience either. Usually, many high-end companies prefer guys with experience, and some only hire guys with experience. They'll make exceptions for the right guy and put him through training and give him a trial run to see if he works out. If the customers like him, and he proves reliable, then he can stay with the company and take bookings on his own.


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Does It Suck To Be A Male Stripper?

My experience being a male stripper is generally a positive one. This profession has garnered me a lot of money and enjoyment over the years. I often have a great relationship with my customers and an upbeat outlook on the profession. Not all guys in the industry share my enthusiasm, though. One former NYC male stripper, who appeared in this article on The Gothamist, has a more depressing take.

He described the male stripping industry as a "gateway of sorts," which results in rampant drug and alcohol abuse, especially if you already indulge in drugs and alcohol. Now I have witnessed this phenomenon with my own eyes, watching guys take their night's earnings and blow it all vice-related activities, so I'm aware that it goes on in some circles. He further elaborates on the "types of sluts who bangs strippers," describing them as "cum dumpsters" or girls with daddy issues." He said this in reference to weekend work: "I realized that all those weekends I lost I could have been on LEGIT dates with girls that I could have cultivated deep relationships with."

The article in The Gothamist summed up his quotes very well here:

He said his various gigs as "very Groundhogs day like." He notes that a lot of women are uncomfortable having fully-naked men in their homes, even when they're strippers. He claims that stripping destroyed his dating life. He believes working as a stripper "will further accentuate that lower self esteem in the long run...Fact is you are not developing self respect or are exploiting a are exploiting something that isn't true."

Just listening to this guy makes you find the job to be sad and not-so-glamorous. It's quite the opposite take on my experience, which has a more sunny outlook. Now this difference may result from our different personalities and lifestyle, but location can also play a role. This guy stripped around NYC. I stripped in the Dirty South. Our clientele were different. Perhaps mine treated me better over the years. Who knows?

What I do know is that I have spoken to the guy via e-mail and talked about the profession a bit. He seems to be a pretty nice guy, but with a bad experience from the job. He asked me, "Don't you get tired of it all, brother? I mean, doesn't being on call every weekend like a doctor get old?"

Not really. Perhaps it's just my outlook on life, but I don't think being a male stripper sucks.

Instead of viewing the gig as a perpetual Groundhog Day of the same ole shit, I take a rock band performance approach. I view my female customers in a manner similar to a crowd of fans purchasing tickets to see their favorite band perform, such as Metallica. I travel to the location and perform for an hour with a whole list of activities, once again, similar to Metallica performing for two or three hours with a whole list of songs. I elicit crowd participation in attempt to create a memorable show that these girls will talk about and remember. I want to see them cheer, laugh, smile, and have an overall good time. Doing all of this gives a sense of purpose to the job.

In turn, a sense of purpose in the job is what promotes happiness and satisfaction in what you do. Drugs, alcohol, and random acts of sex don't give people a deep sense of purpose in life. Doing those things on a daily basic will result in the Groundhog Day effect where you're just going through the motions of life, but never really accomplishing anything.

I used to treat stripping as a means to an end, whether it be money, girls, or self-esteem boost. As a result, my performances left me with an empty feeling at the end. The sex flings on the job didn't enhance my life once I got home to my empty apartment.

That all changed once I tried to produce a good show. Hearing a party of girls say, "Dion, we had the most awesome time with you," gives me a lot more satisfaction than a mere twenty dollar tip (although the tip is nice!). Eventually, I'll spend that twenty dollars and it'll be forgotten, but I won't forget the smiles of gratitude from the party.

The bottom line is to take pride in doing a job well-done, rather than seeing your job as a means to an end. Find reasons to enjoy your work. Once I committed myself to making my customers happy, my own happiness increased so now a night at work almost guarantees to put me in a good mood.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Critiquing Applicants - Part 1

To give a better comprehension of what is an acceptable male stripper candidate, I decided to ask one of my agents to provide me with some recent applicants to show who gets hired and who doesn't. The quality of applicants range all across the spectrum. Apparently, each person has a different perception of what is considered "sexy," so let's use this post as a quick reference guide on what agencies review.

Keep in mind that the average cost of a male stripper in the industry is approximately $200 an hour, not including tips. An applicant must have exceptional qualities to justify a group of women forking out such an amount of cash for his time.

Without further ado, let's start on the applicants.

Male Stripper Applicant #01

Stage name: Tank

Information: None provided. This applicant did not follow any directions on the company's employment page and failed to give any of the requested information about himself, including whether he had transportation, costumes, or previous experience. This makes the applicant look unprofessional, because if he can't follow simple directions about an application process, imagine how poorly he'd fare with more complicated directions from specific bachelorette parties.

At least Tank provided some pics, which included a good view of his face. Most agents complain when applicants crop out their faces, which is about as absurd as a teacher hiding his teaching certifications while applying for a teaching position. You can see that Tank works out a little bit, but notice that he deliberately cropped the photo where his midsection starts. That shows he's trying to hide his abs, perhaps due to high body fat. He also fails to show his legs. Agents need to see whether an applicant has decent legs or chicken legs. 

Now onto his looks. First of all, Tank looks over 40 years old. Most bachelorette parties consist of girls in their 20s. This guy looks old enough to be their dad. Second, the long hair doesn't look good. Third, his physique is lacking in terms of muscular definition and symmetry. It's obvious he works out, but he fails to meet the competitive standards of the industry. 

Tank also included another picture that depicts him crawling on the floor with a lecherous grin. He looks like a serial rapist crawling after his victim. "Come 'ere, little girl. I'm gonna getcha!"

How on earth is this considered a good pic? 

"Want some candy, little girl?"
I think a bachelorette party would call the cops if this guy showed up to their door with this expression on his face asking for $200 an hour. 

Final Verdict: REJECTED

Male Stripper Applicant #02
Black Shaggy

Stage name: Black Shaggy

Real name, date of birth, location: *provided*

Experience: "No experience, but danced all my life."

Transportation: "No transportation but will relocate to area close

Phone number: *provided*

Costumes: No costumes

Height: 6'1"

Oh boy... Where to begin?

Let's start with the best thing about this applicant -- he followed directions and listed everything honestly.

I also see where he's going with his stage name, Black Shaggy. He does resemble Shaggy from Scooby Doo, except he's black. All he needs is a green shirt. That's pretty cool and all, but women don't exactly see Shaggy as a sex symbol. I guess it's a good nickname among his peers when he's getting high, which I'm assuming he does based on the droopy-eyed expression in the pic.

"I'm available for $200 an hour."
Beyond that, this guy has everything wrong. On a physical level, he doesn't even lift weights. His appearance is unkempt... And he needs to clean that mirror because it looks like it he has spent a lifetime popping explosive acne in front of it.

Black Shaggy has no experience and no costumes. No problem. I didn't either when I first applied.

But what the hell is he going to do without transportation? He claims that he can "relocate to an area close." How is that even possible? Perhaps he's going to live like a transient and move his tent for out-of-town bookings. Maybe he plans on riding a bicycle to and from each party. Imagine the female customer's surprise when Black Shaggy pulls up to the condo on a bicycle and asks for money.

I'm just curious what went through this guy's head when he viewed the roster of muscular male models and figured that he was on par with the rest of them, despite lacking experience, transportation, costumes, and all. "Yeah, women would totally pay $200 an hour for the Black Shaggy Show."

Final Verdict: REJECTED

Male Stripper Applicant #03

Stage name: Adonis

Real name, date of birth, location: *provided*

Experience: "I've worked with an exotic stripping agency before."

Transportation: "I have a car."

Phone number: *provided*

Costumes: jungle loin cloth and police officer

Height: 5'10"

This is the ideal applicant! First off, he followed all directions and sent multiple pictures, most of which depict his face, body, and even legs! They were high quality pictures taken in good lighting, not grainy selfies taken in the dark. As you can see in the above pic, Adonis is in top physique condition with great muscularity, symmetry, and low body fat---notice the visible abs, developed legs, and rippling torso. 

The agent said that Adonis seemed very polite and professional on the phone. Adonis verified his work history and had a good understanding of what the job was all about.

For you future stripper applicants out there, take notes. This is what your competition looks like. Any agency would have an easy time marketing him to a group of ladies for $200 an hour. 

Final Verdict: HIRED

That's the end of part one. Stay tuned for a future batch of "Critiquing Applicants."

DISCLAIMER: All pictures posted have been submitted via permission/waiver of the original owner. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Male Stripper Stories (UPDATE)

Here's an update:

If you were trying to read some of my "Origins" stories about when I first started my stripping career at French Addiction, you'll notice that they're no longer on the blog. I took them down because they will be in my memoir. These stories will be revised, edited and have some names changed. Once the book is out, I'll slowly start releasing these stories chapter by chapter on the blog again.

The memoir, itself, has really been coming along. The tentative release date is the 1st quarter of 2015. I plan to put out a high-quality and entertaining book on stripping, so that's why it's been taking some time.

Also, on the "Male Stripper Stories" tab at the top of the page, I added some extra stories to the list, so you don't have to navigate through my entire blog's history. I'll soon add some entertaining reader's e-mails to the list.

If you have any questions or comments in the meantime, please contact me at malestripperdion(AT)

And below are some pics from a photo shoot back in 2005:

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Chapter 7: Physical Requirements

*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.  

Previous chapter: click here

Me in the summer of 2014

Looks are subjective. The idea of beauty changes from person to person. Most companies in this industry don’t expect a “perfect 10,” but standards certainly exist. When a group of girls hire a male stripper, they usually want a man that is above average in both body and face. You must have the muscularity and the facial aesthetics to satisfy the majority of your customers.
When I say “satisfy the majority of your customers,” that ranges from the sorority house to a group of wealthy housewives to young professionals. Your girlfriend’s opinion is not an accurate reflection of what the industry is looking for. I get a lot of e-mails from guys who have a six-pack, but are rail-thin and weigh 140 lbs. They claim that they want to become male strippers because their girlfriends said they have the body for it, or their friends think they “have what it takes.”
To understand what the industry wants, do a quick search on the internet for companies offering male strippers in your area. Browse through those photos. See all of those muscular and good looking guys? Yeah, that's your competition. If they look better than you, chances are, they are going to get more work than you.
If you're going to be a male stripper, you're entering a contest. It's a competition where there is only one winner, and your prize is performing at the bachelorette party. Your pictures on a booking company's website are the first things the customer will judge you by. They don’t know your personality or entertainment value; just your picture.
Here’s a list of physical characteristics that you should have:

Muscularity – You don’t have to be a bodybuilder, but don’t be a stick either. Be sure to work out your legs too, because chicken legs holding up your massive torso looks stupid. You’ll want to sculpt your body to have a symmetrical display of muscle mass. So: how muscular or how lean should you be, you ask? The answer really depends on your height and body type.
Below is a chart on an ideal (but not absolute) height to weight ratio:

5'8" to 5'9" tall - 165 to 175 lbs
5'10" to 5'11" tall - 170 to 190 lbs
6'0" to 6'1" tall - 185 to 205 lbs
6'2" to 6'3" tall - 195 to 215 lbs
6'4" to 6'5" tall - 210 to 225 lbs

This chart is not absolute. However, it should tell you one thing: If you’re 6’1”, weighing 160 lbs. probably means you’re too fucking skinny for the job. Spend some time in the gym and build some muscle mass before applying.

Abdominal Muscles – Very important. If the human body is an “X,” the abdominal muscles represent the center of the “X.” They become the center of attention when your shirt comes off, so be sure to have some blocky abs instead of flab. The more muscular types can fudge this a little bit, but make sure you don’t have a gut overhanging your pants, or the “fatty abs,” which mean that your abs are visible, yet obscured and soft looking due to the layer of body fat surrounding them.

Handsome Facial Features – You don’t have to be the hottest guy in your town, but you need to have some degree of good looks. Having a universally attractive face helps a lot.
For guys who inherited the unfortunate results of the genetic lottery, you cannot help how your face is shaped. Some people are born with great facial features, while others struggle with their flaws. The good news is that you don’t need the perfect face to climb your way into this industry as long as your other features compensate for your facial shortcomings.
Your personality and how you carry yourself can increase your attractiveness with women. Facial expressions make a huge difference. Wearing a confident smile will have a better effect on customers than scowling all the time. Practice in the mirror and determine which expressions make you look best. Take a lot of pictures of yourself holding different smiles and looks, and solicit honest feedback from peers as to which make you the best looking.

Good teeth – You must have good teeth. Nice, straight, white teeth. If you have a chipped front tooth, stained teeth, or missing teeth, look elsewhere for employment. Male stripping requires good dental care, and good dental care leads to great smiles, which lead to a more attractive appearance.

Height – The ideal height starts at 5’10 (177 cm) and goes upward from there, at least in North America. The Chippendales’ minimum height requirement is 5’10. Many companies prefer six feet or taller. Height is one of the most common complaints about male strippers—customers want their men to be tall. For you short guys out there, you better outshine your competition in other areas to make up for the lack of height. Even then, a company will rarely take an applicant who is 5’7 or shorter. Even 5’9 and 5’10 is cutting it close.

Penis sizeIt’s not important. Period.
Companies look at your whole package of looks, personality, and work experience when reviewing you as a candidate, not the package below your belly button. At most shows, including male revues, you’re not going to show your cock off unless a ravenous female rips your thong off. There is nudity in this business at certain times and certain places, but you’re not being paid any extra for the size of your dick.
The only thing penis size can offer the customer in this business is novelty. A male stripper with a big dick is like a female stripper with big tits. The large breasts may catch extra attention or offer another asset to the customer, but if the woman is hideous, her tits won’t matter. The same goes for men. Women don’t want to pay to see a fat slob with a big cock. They’d rather have a good-looking hunk with an average cock. A cock is a novelty that can only enhance the entire package, but not sustain its entirety alone.
Forget about penis size. Don’t send agents pictures of your dick. Don’t even talk about it unless asked.

Overall, you don’t have to be perfect, but you have to have a marketable look. I have seen guys with average faces pull off work because they have great bodies, and vice-versa.
Keep in mind that you can change a lot about your physical appearance through exercise, diet, good posture, haircut, and hygiene. Just because you don’t have the minimum physical requirements now doesn’t mean that you can’t change a few things about yourself and come back later. Even for those of you who are already well-built and good-looking, there is always room for improvement.

As a male stripper, you’re a product that is going on a store shelf. Customers will browse you along with many others before they make a purchase. Try to make sure you’re the best quality item on the shelf. Otherwise, they will pass you over and pay for somebody else. That’s why meeting the physical requirements is a major priority. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Chapter 6: Personality Requirements

*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.  

Previous chapter: click here

Once upon a time in college, I had a conversation with a bodybuilder who was taller, bigger, and more muscular than I was. He had discovered that I was a stripper, so he said, “No offense, but I’m better built than you, so I should be able to go to your company and make a lot of money.”
He was right about one thing: he definitely had a better body. But he was forgetting something very important: Personality. He did not get the job.
Having a good personality is the key to success in this industry. Having a body like a boulder is a nice asset, but it can’t help you if your personality is as dull as one. We are not like female strippers. Our audience requires more than eye candy.
There are three personality traits that help make a successful stripper. Let’s examine each trait and its importance for the job.

Charisma In simple terms, charisma is the ability to make people give a shit about you.
I went to a Wrestlemania event with my brother when I was in middle school. I didn’t care about wrestling and only went because my brother wanted to go. Well, Hulk Hogan made a surprise appearance and the crowd’s cheers surged to a deafening level. He walked by me, scanning the crowd, waving, and smiling. He had an aura radiating around him that warmed the entire arena, its heat reaching even those sitting in the back rows. Even I, a person who dislikes Wrestlemania, found myself cheering when he cupped his ear towards my section of the crowd, expecting everyone to cheer him on. His personality was infectious. From that moment on, I understood why he was popular.
Male stripping is a lot like Hulk Hogan’s performance. You have to catch the audience’s attention, get them participating, and make them excited. That is charisma. Some people have an innate pool of it inside them, and they can whip a crowd up into a frenzy. Others who are more naturally shy, like me, had to train and develop it.
Charisma is not limited to performing. Being personable plays a huge part in being charismatic. Listen to what customers have to say about themselves and take genuine interests in their stories. People love a good listener, especially if that listener took his time from the spotlight to listen to an audience member’s story.
Whatever you do, work to minimize any of the following traits, which are counterproductive to charisma: rudeness, negativity, cynicism, apathy, and dullness.

ClassinessAs strange as it sounds, male strippers should be classy because they deal with customers from all walks of life. Some traits that make a male stripper classy are good manners and consideration for others.
Having good manners is important, because it shows other people that we care about them. Unfortunately, more and more people toss manners aside in favor of selfishness. Don’t be one of those people. Introduce yourself formally to the customer when you arrive. When you accept something from a customer, whether it’s payment or a bottle of water, always say “thank you.” Don’t accept anything without a word of gratitude. Thank the party again before you leave.
Use the titles of “Ma’am” or “Sir” when addressing people unless told otherwise. I see too many people saying “hey” or “hey, you” when they address others. Don’t be that insolent prick. It gives a bad first impression.
Taking a little extra time to utilize good manners does not hurt anybody. It shows that you are respectful, and when you give people respect, you are more likely to receive that respect in return. Good manners can only benefit you in this line of work, and best of all, they’re free.
Classiness also relates to the desire to do a good job and make the customers happy. The show is about the customers, not the stripper. Interact with the entire party if possible. Don’t ignore someone because she is shy or unattractive. Understand your customers’ vibe and adjust the wildness of your routine accordingly.
One male stripper I knew made sex his biggest priority. He’d show up to a party and seek out the girl that seemed the most willing to have sex with him. This often pissed the other guests off, but he wouldn’t care. He’d say that they were a bunch of “prudes” and move on to the next party with wild hopes of attaining the next easy girl.
Don’t be this guy. Have some class. Show exceptional character by giving your customers a memorable experience that they’ll talk about for weeks to come.

Reliability – Booking companies want their strippers to show up to the parties so they can get payment from the customer. If a stripper shows up late or fails to show, customers will call the company and complain, and booking agents hate nothing more than giving a refund because one of their strippers flaked. Also, agents frown on male strippers who are always unavailable or constantly turn down work. A reliable person takes on as many shows possible and shows up on time.  
Integrity is important in this industry. Many booking companies operate online, so the stripper sometimes collects the entire payment in person and sends the company its cut later. The company needs to trust its strippers.

To summarize, if you lack charisma, classiness, and reliability, then you most likely don’t have the personality required to be a successful male stripper. Your actions demonstrate these traits; your words don’t mean shit. That’s why you prove yourself by showing up to your parties on time, every time, being polite and considerate, and entertaining the crowd where they can’t thank you enough for a job well done. When the girls tell your agent how awesome you were, or they throw you some extra cash, you know that you’re on the right path. 

Next chapter: click here

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Chapter 5: Types of Male Stripping

*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.  

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There are several different branches of male stripping. While they all involve dancing and taking off your clothes, there are fundamental differences. Let’s examine the pros and cons of each type and see which one best suits you.

Private party
The male stripper travels to the clients’ party location and performs. This can be a hotel room, a residence, condo, club, or bar. Most of these parties fall into the category of bachelorette parties and birthday parties.
These performances rely more on interaction with the customers than a choreographed dance routine. The majority of male strippers perform at private parties. The stripper performs alone for a group of females.
Pros: Good money. More personal time for the crowd. Easier to manage the performance due to a smaller crowd. The performance usually only lasts around an hour. Sometimes the customers offer you food and drink, or they invite you to go out with them afterwards. Guaranteed good money for the stripper just for showing up. Performing alone means no competition for tips. No waiting for your turn to perform. Easier to work incognito. Fairly easy to break into compared to the other types of stripping.
Cons: Travel required. Sometimes you lose the profits at the gas pump. Solo act means you’re all alone when things go bad; it also means that you have to work the crowd on your own. Work schedule is very sporadic. Seldom repeat customers.

Strip Club
The male stripper performs at a designated strip club on stage. He has a set work schedule. In most scenarios, his act involves a choreographed routine followed by crowd interaction both on and off the stage. Because of the dance routine, most strip clubs require an audition. The movie Magic Mike depicts a realistic example of male strip club work.
A male stripper who works at the strip club also needs several costumes, since the whole dance act can cover several different themes.
Pros: Set work schedule. Repeat customers. Coworkers and employer can assist you when things go bad. Sometimes an emcee helps you work the crowd. The only travel required is the club. Other strippers can provide help and insights about the job. The staff can kick out the obnoxious customers.
Cons: You compete with your coworkers for tips. Repeat customers might include crazy people who stalk you. Longer work hours. Slow nights result in less money. Gossip regarding you and your coworkers spreads worse than STDs. Auditions make the selection process more difficult.

Regular Dance Club
A male stripper at a regular dance club is there to augment the atmosphere and provide customers with extra eye candy. People can tip him, but he’s not the center of attention. Gay clubs tend to hire male strippers for this purpose. Skinny guys are eligible for this job.
Pros: Set work schedule. Men are rumored to tip more. Get paid to go clubbin’ all night, free drinks usually included! Repeat customers. The gay clubs are the perfect place if you like getting groped by other men. Easiest job to get for a male stripping gig as the requirement level is the lowest. Skinny guys can apply here and do very well.
Cons: Limited money. Dancing the entire night at the same club gets old fast. A bad place to be if you hate getting groped by other men. No room to improve because you’re really just there to be part of the scenery. Someone in your town may recognize you. You get unwanted solicitations for sex a lot.

Male Revue
A specialized event where male strippers travel to perform. The location can be a bar, club, large venue, auditorium, concert hall, or wherever you can cram a bunch of excited women. The stripping act is similar to the male strip club, except male revues always involve travel. An organizer rounds up male strippers and sends them out to these locations.
Pros: Some establishments pay very well for male revues, and a large crowd can bring in a flood of money. Sometimes there are some very horny women. You have other male strippers working with you to assist with the crowd. You can keep a low profile from your job, family, and friends if you’re away from home.
Cons: Crowd size and participation are hit or miss depending on the location. If the crowd is small, kiss your earnings goodbye. Some women at male revues are overly aggressive. The staff at these establishments aren’t usually very helpful. Male strippers often incur the travel expenses themselves.  

Chippendale (or similar touring troupe)
The top tier of male stripping. Unlike the other types of stripping, these guys get a salary along with paid travel and accommodations. They work for it by rehearsing, touring, and staying in top shape. Entry into the Chippendales is highly competitive since there are usually only 24 Chippendales in the world at a given time.
Pros: Steady salary. Set work schedule. Travel. Paid hotel and food expenses if you’re on tour. Huge fan base. Easy access to sexy women. Work with the other guys as a team. Chippendale name is famous worldwide.
Cons: Large workload. Constant rehearsals and touring. Fierce competition means that you’ll have a better chance at winning the lottery than getting this gig. Life on the road can be strenuous. Aggressive women. Less flexibility regarding your other plans in life. Once again, you need to be the best of the best to land this job.

The Black Male Stripper Circuit
A serious business opportunity for black male strippers performing for a black female audience. The ladies usually come to see these performances out of feminine desire and eroticism rather than the celebration of a special occasion. These ladies may be dedicated fans or groupies, traveling from afar to see their favorite male strippers.
Pros:  A serious cash cow opportunity. A legion of fans. Celebrity treatment.
Cons: Fierce competition. Requires an excessive amount of performing talent. You must be black.

Just because there are several different types of male stripping out there doesn’t mean you have to stick with only one. You can work at a male strip club, do private parties, and travel around for male revues at the same time if you’re ambitious.
Personally, I enjoy private parties the most. They offer quick and easy money for an hour-long performance, along with a flexible work schedule. Plus, I prefer smaller crowds. I own a home and have a full-time job, so the prospect of touring doesn’t appeal to me. 
Choose whichever type of stripping suits your abilities and lifestyle. If you like to travel, join a touring male revue group or the Chippendales (if you can). If you like to stay near your home, work at private parties. If you just like to get laid and earn money, pick and choose any of the above.

For future reference, most of this book will focus on private party stripping unless noted otherwise, because private party male strippers make up the bulk of the industry. 

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