Wednesday, December 21, 2011

8 Things I Dislike About Male Stripping

Imperfection exists in all jobs, and like all jobs, even male stripping has its drawbacks. Even though most parties provide me with entertainment, some parties make me want to quit. I know that stripping is easy money, and there are a lot of professions that dish out high stress situations with little pay, but I have to list some points about stripping that I hate. While the list below may seem trivial to some of you hard-working leaders, keep in mind that I have to demonstrate that male stripping is not perfect all the time. This job has its bad moments.

So without further ado, here are the 8 things I dislike about male stripping.

1.) Demanding Girls - These girls resemble the demanding customers who come into any business and nitpick about every little, insignificant detail. Few things satisfy these customers. They are likely to bitch and moan about you despite your best efforts to please them. Fortunately, these girls come few and far between in my line of work.

2.) Mean Girls - Some people are just downright mean no matter what you say or do. Some girls have their barbs aimed at me as soon as I open the door---they just love to throw insults around for no good reasons at all except to make themselves feel better. I notice more of this type at sorority-oriented parties than anything else. Mean girls also tend to be demanding as well, which is the worst combination. In fact, the second party of my career contained both mean and demanding girls, and I almost didn't pursue male stripping because of it. Unfortunate for them, I can leave as soon as I collect the money.

3.) Jealous Men - I have noticed that the mere fact of women paying me to take off my clothes and party with them elicits pure hatred out of some men. I have also noticed that some of these men want to hurt or even kill me if some of the women in the crowd flirt with me. I have dealt with all kinds of bullshit regarding jealous men wanting to fight me throughout my stripping career. While dealing with jealous men is not common, it can be annoying and downright dangerous at times. Once I had a bar full of cowboys wanting to jump me. To remedy this problem, I carry a gun with me at all times.

4.) No Weekends - It's hard to plan a weekend when most of my work falls on a weekend. While most people spend time with their family or friends, I have to go to work. One consoling aspect about male striping is that most parties invite out after the party, so I end up going out. I just spend my weekends with strangers instead of friends.

5.) Jealous Girlfriends - Having a serious girlfriend and being a male stripper do not go hand in hand. Most women tend to have a problem with this job for obvious reasons. Even the more understanding and selfless girls eventually grow discontent after awhile. To avoid this problem, I suggest postponing all serious relationships while working as a male dancer.

6.) Social Taboo - I work a professional job during the day. If this employer discovered that I work as a stripper on the side, they would fire me. So I have to maintain a low profile and cover my tracks.

7.) Driving - I spend the majority of my time driving to and from a location rather than stripping (this may only apply to the male strippers who work private parties instead of shows). Factoring in the cost of gas, car maintenance, and wear and tear on my vehicle, the driving part sucks.

8.) Repulsive Women - Some women are repulsive. They are so scary that I don't even want to go near them. The odor emanating from these women would cause a skunk to wear a gas mask. Some of these women can outweigh sumo wrestlers. So guess what? As a male stripper, you have to entertain these women. A male stripper should not deny one group service due to appearance, meaning that if you stumble upon a party full of overweight women who smell of rancid sweat, then it's your job to entertain them. They paid for a service, and your job is to provide that service. Yes, it sucks sometimes, but you have to smile and do your job.

So there you have it. The eight things I dislike about male stripping. No job is perfect, but male stripping sure rates high on my list. If I could do it all over again, then I would sign up over and over.