Sunday, August 31, 2014

Out of Left Field

The following story was written by Male Stripper Tanner, who was also interviewed in my book. 

Male Stripper Tanner

Friday, August 29, 2014 –

The month of August was a milestone month for me. First, it marked my 1 year anniversary as a male stripper on the private show circuit. Also it was both a busy and lucrative month.  My previous record of $370 earned in one show was smashed by my new record of $634! This major financial triumph also contributed to my most earned record for 1 night of stripping gigs- $1,130! I had two other shows prior to the one that netted $634.

Aside from these financial highlights, every show I performed in went perfect with satisfied customers and a plethora of compliments ranging from my physical appearance to my great showmanship which prompted one surprised and skeptical bachelorette to exclaim - “You handled yourself with flair!”

With such positive reinforcement and great experiences, I was on a high of happiness and confidence. I felt like I could take on any show and bring down the house. This feeling however would meet its dark fate.

An 8pm Friday bachelorette party had been booked for me a month in advance and I was ready to embark on this show and continue my streak of successful shows as August was winding down to its last weekend.

I was given a number to contact and an alternate number for back up. I called prior to leaving to make sure I had the correct address and to get some logistical questions answered. Basically my typical pre-show chat.

“Hello” said a lady with a slight accent.

“Hi, I’m Tanner, how are you?”

I’m fine, how are you?

“Good. I’m this evening’s entertainment.”

“Oh, hi” her voice lit up.

I then proceeded to ask my routine questions such as if this was intended to be a surprise, what kind of music source they had, how many ladies etc...

Everything was confirmed and I was on my way.

The bachelorette party had at least 10 ladies with more expected on their way. The venue was in a high rise apartment on the 7th floor. I parked on the street a block away and proceeded toward their building. I was dressed in my usual suit and tie, and the white collar theme is a typical skit I do that has universal appeal.
I arrived at the main entrance of what was a higher end apartment dwelling.  I realized that there were two sets of glass doors with the second being inaccessible unless someone lets you in.  I proceeded to call the number I had called earlier that evening to inform them I had arrived. It went to voice mail. I then sent a text.

“We’re coming down” was the response.

About two minutes later I saw what appeared to be an attractive black woman approaching the first set of glass doors and pulling them open. I simultaneously made my way to the first set of glass doors and pulled one open and walked in. 

It turned out the lady was Hispanic with a dark tan complexion and she cracked a smile while making steady eye contact with me.

“Hi how are you?” she asked.

“I’m fine, my name is Tanner, how are you?” I replied.

“I’m fine, how are you? Oops, I just asked you that” she said in a shy laughter.

I had the impression she was a little nervous in comparison to the other women I had met in past shows prior to the party.

We promptly headed toward the elevators and she led the way by 2-3 paces. She had on a nice top and had a small waist which accentuated a prominent yet shapely butt and hips hugged firmly by long black tights.

“So have you ever done this before?” I asked

“Have a male stripper? No.” She answered in a smiling yet shy demeanor.

We reached the 7th floor and exited the elevator. I pulled out my IPod Nano and showed her my playlist of songs.

“Press this button, the first song. Don’t hit shuffle. I need the music to proceed in this particular order” I instructed.

“Ok” she replied.

“When I hear the music, I am going to enter the room.”

“Ok” she answered.

At this point through my peripheral vision I spotted someone turning in from the hallway into the corridor were we were standing. It was another lady from the show. She was also Hispanic, stood about 5’4” with a very dark tan complexion. She had acne blemishes on both of her cheeks and she was on the pudgy side. She had a handful of cash.

We locked eyes.

“Where is the guy?” she exclaimed while turning to the lady who met me downstairs.

The first girl gave a puzzled expression. “This is him,” she replied.

As this brief conversation transpired, within fractions of a second, a big “WHAT-THE-FUCK???” crossed my mind. 

“You are not the guy I picked! I picked a guy named Brandon off the site,” she insisted.

At this point all the positive, successful and happy experiences which marked the month of August just flashed by my eyes.  Instead a dark cloud of embarrassment and confusion settled in. To say this lady’s reaction came out of left field would be an understatement.

“You picked who?” I asked to avoid any potential awkward silence.

“I picked Brandon, the Latino guy,” she firmly stated.

At this point I thought maybe reverting to humor could change the tide.

“I’m him, the white version,” I answered back.

My attempt at softening the blow was not effective.

“No you are not, I picked Brandon!” she continued.

At this point the lady who originally met me downstairs immediately shuffled off heading down the hallway and disappeared into a room.

“Look, it’s nothing personal against you but the bride-to-be is expecting Brandon, she even saw his pictures.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say, perhaps he couldn’t make it and I was dispatched here instead” I countered.

“No” she responded while shaking her head.

Prioritizing the need to display professionalism I said “I’m sorry, too bad things didn’t go as planned.”
I then turned and walked away in the direction of the elevators and she subsequently went the opposite direction back to her room.

A shout of “OH MY GOD,” resonated down the hallway as she slammed the door shut.

I later got to my car and texted my agent notifying him of what happened.

“Wow really? That sucks,” my agent texted.

“They wanted some Hispanic guy named Brandon,” I replied. “They’re probably going to call and complain."

“Well they can eat my ass” my agent replied. “You should have walked in and said Hola, I have an el grande penis, lol.”

Although my agent was in high spirits and didn’t seem to mind that the party bailed, I was both embarrassed and pissed off. How can I get an overwhelming positive response from women at my other shows and then encounter something as pathetic as this?  What if all the other women at the party had been given the chance to see me and my performance? Would they have been truly disgusted? It is one thing to perform in front of an unappreciative crowd but getting turned away at the door definitely takes the cake and will always be the highlight of my worst experience in the field of male stripping.

Fortunately I only had a short 11 mile drive back home.  The lesson learned here is when you least expect it, a bad situation can arise unannounced. But in this industry and in life in general, you have to push forward while keeping your composure.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Behind the G-String Paperback Version Out Now

My first book, Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper, is now available in paperback. Buy it at Createspace.

The e-book is also available at Amazon.   

Here is what the readers had to say:

"I just got the book -- it is a great read even if you are not trying to break into the business!"  - LivingImageofAten from Reddit

"This book will give you pretty much all the tools you need to be a successful male entertainer. The stories and interviews add humor and insight into this bare-all profession. I highly recommend this book to all curious about the business."  - Matt

"After reading it, I was able to apply the concept described in the book and was able to seduce many women. Would recommend to my future male children and grandchildren."  - Chris A

Included in the book:

- Candid interviews with male strippers and booking agents

- Brand new and exclusive stories, including the wildest party of Dion's career

- A list of booking agencies that are hiring

- A list of touring companies that are hiring

- How to make yourself more attractive and presentable to the ladies

- An extensive walk-through of a typical stripping routine

- Common myths about male strippers debunked

- How to deal with difficult customers

...And much more!

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Behind the G-String - Now Available on Amazon

My first book, Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper, is now available. Buy the e-book on Amazon for the Kindle. 

Don't have a Kindle? Then download the free Kindle reading app so you can read it on your phone, tablet, or PC. 

Here's the description of the book:

Explore the unique and hidden world of the exotic male stripper. This comprehensive guide tells you everything you need to know on getting the most entertaining job in the world. If you ever wondered what it's like to be a real life Magic Mike, then look no further. Discover if male stripping is the dream job for you. 

Also included:

* New wild stories that are not on the blog
* A list of stripping agencies that are hiring
* A detailed routine for private party male strippers

Don't like e-books? No need to worry. A print version will soon be available. 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

E-mails Regarding Height

Lately I've been getting a lot of e-mails from male stripper applicants who feel that their height may be an issue. Here's what they have written (all spelling and grammar errors remain intact):

Marcc M. wrote:

Heyy i need help im 5'5 do you think they'll accept me to do stripping

Irvin B wrote:

Well I am 22 about to turn 23, I am a good looking mexican,  I noticed as I am getting a bigger and muscular aesthetic body I am looking better ( facial), I am not a shy guy to dance in front of women ( even thought I never been on stage ), I have move, naturally I love to dance, great personality and many women always told me I look like the type of men to be a flirty one even thought I am not flirting just smiling most of the time.However  I am 5'5 tall ( pretty short) maybe 5'6 with boots lol, I am moving out to tampa. With all the experience you have, I will be grateful to receive an honest reply/opinion from you think I am able to make as a stripper? Side note: for some reason it seems that males get attracted to me since I am always getting compliments from them pretty often lol, which I think it would be the case for women as well... 

 Michael V. wrote:

Hey there, I have been reading your blog for a while (great guide seriously, thanks for putting your experience on the internet) and I am interested to start a stripper career. And I was wondering what is your opinion about my height/weight/physic about a job like that. I am 5'8'' and around 154 lbs . I'm not very muscular and not very tall and I just want an expert opinion. Thank you once more for this blog it is really helpful !Best regards ,Michael

Isaiah W. wrote:

Is there a specific height limit that agency's prefer? Thanks man 

My response:

I'll be honest and blunt with all of you. Height is a very important quality of male strippers, with taller being better. An agency might consider a shorter guy if he is better built and better looking than most of the roster of the incredibly muscular and good-looking guys. Even then, some companies have height requirements with 5'10 (177 cm) usually being the bare minimum. Most companies prefer 6'0 or taller.

Height ranks at number one among the physical traits women complain about when it comes to male strippers. Even a good looking and muscular guy who is 5'5 will get complaints.

You have to take in account that some brides and birthday girls will be exceptionally tall. I've run into some girls who tower well over 6 feet. Many women will want to pose with the male stripper for pictures. Imagine a 5'5 guy standing next to a bride who is 6'2 and wearing high heels. The short guy would resemble a midget in comparison and possibly make the bride feel like an ogre. That's shitty customer service there.

That said, don't let your height get in the way of applying. I have seen short male strippers before. In fact, I met another guy at a male revue who was 5'5, but he was the most muscular one among us. He was far from the most popular, but at least he didn't embarrass himself when he ventured out into the crowd. However, Chippendales and other big name companies would never hire him.

If you're short, you're going to start off with a handicap. Just as it is in basketball, height plays an essential role for male strippers. It sucks. It's not fair. But we cannot all be male strippers, just as we cannot all be rocket scientists or professional basketball players. That's life. Don't let height prevent you from trying, though. Continuously train and better yourself, then apply and see what an agent says. Rejection won't hurt anything except maybe your ego.

And to those who e-mail me seeking help, a little courtesy or gratitude goes a long way when I take time to write you guys an answer. Yes, I'm talking to you Marcc (e-mail #1). You asked me for help without any trace of common courtesy in your e-mail, and then said nothing when I gave you a response. Not even a "thank you" or even the slightest bit of acknowledgement. If that's how your attitude is with everyone, then you're definitely not cut out to work as a male stripper which requires a certain degree of professionalism.