Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Stripper's Log: Saturday, July 6, 2013

Bachelorette Party

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Biloxi, Mississippi

My first party in July was for a group of Louisiana girls, some of them being certified Cajuns. Most of the were in their early twenties. They booked a nice hotel off the Biloxi coast near the casinos.

Two girls met me outside and escorted me through the lobby. The security guard, and old and stocky man, smiled when he saw me and asked if I wanted to borrow his pair of handcuffs.

"I'm a cowboy today, not a cop," I called out cheerfully. 

He chuckled as he walked away. "Have fun."

These girls were a nice bunch with the exception of one loud-mouthed girl. I'll refer to her as "Boomer" because she had a voice that boomed over anyone else in the room and reverberated off the walls. She was 35 years old, a little on the heavy side, married, and refused to participate due to being married, which was reasonable. However, she was extremely rude to me.

"That ain't a show," she said while I was entertaining the bride. "Come on, show me whatcha got!"

When I paused to talk to the maid of honor, Boomer interrupted and said, "We paid to see ya dance, not hear ya talk."

Another girl told Boomer that she was being rude.

"I guess it was rude," Boomer admitted. "Oh well."

The rest of the girls were having a great time and enjoying my show. One of the girls, a petite blonde with curly hair, slipped her tongue into my mouth when I took a lime from her mouth after I took a body shot off her abs. The bachelorette adored me.

Boomer continued to heckle me.

"I'm not impressed."

"Don't cha got anything else?"

"You're boring me!"

At first, I tried to ignore Boomer and focus on everyone else, but her booming voice was difficult to tune out. Finally, I tried to explain in a polite manner about what my job was all about, but she interrupted and told me in a condescending tone that I was doing my job wrong.

Anger rose within and was on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it. I had nothing to gain by arguing with her, so I put on a smile and tried to make sure everyone else had a good time.

I danced with the bachelorette, lifted her off the ground, and straddled her on the couch. We took several pictures together, and she told me that she "had a blast."

When I concluded the party, I went to each individual girl to thank them and engaged in a little small talk. I even stopped by Boomer wearing a smile. To my surprise, she was nice to me this time.

"You did a good job," she said. "You made the bride happy and that's all that matter."

While Boomer was talking to me, she coddled another girl nestled against her. Boomer reminded me of a mother hen taking care of her little chicks. Beneath her rough and tough exterior was a kind and gentle soul. She watched over these girls, gave them advice, and kept them out of trouble. She told me that they all had to go back home to Louisiana the next day.

When I told Boomer that I had some family members near Lafayette, she brightened. 

"No you don't!" she said.

"Of course I do," I said.

"What's your favorite football team then?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Well, I'm a Florida Gator alumni, so the Gators are my favorite, but-"

"Bah! The Gators?! Get outta here!"

"L.S.U. would be my second favorite though," I finished.

"Now you're just pullin' my leg."

"Are you kidding? The Fighting Tigers are just as big as the Crimson Tide in my neck of the woods."

When I told her that, she smiled and gave me a high-five.

In truth, I don't really watch or follow football, but there are quite a few Cajun restaurants in my town stocked full of L.S.U. memorabilia and trinkets, and I learned that some of my customers can be big football fanatics. A little knowledge goes a long way in building rapport, especially like it did with Boomer.

"Hey hun," Boomer said. "Get yourself somethin' ta eat before ya go."

Before I could give an answer, Boomer called out to one of the girls in the kitchen and told her to pack me something for the road.

"Take all the food you can," Boomer said. "We're gonna throw most of it out. I don't want ya goin' home hungry."

It was a little more than "somethin' ta eat." The girl in the kitchen packed me a container full of meatballs and sausages in barbeque sauce. Then, she gave me the entire vegetable tray of celery, broccoli, sliced cucumbers, and carrots, along with two fruit platter of blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and pineapple. She even through in a few peaches. All in all, it was about forty dollars worth of food.

I tried to refuse the generous offer out of politeness, but everyone insisted that they would have to trash the food because they were leaving in the morning. Being one to dislike unnecessary waste, I accepted with enthusiasm. I was very hungry too. 

I ate well on my drive home, and it took me half a week to eat the remaining fruit and vegetables. Boomer and her friends' generosity made me very happy. I was glad that I kept my cool with her the entire time. 


  1. You're a great writer and this was a great post :)

  2. Turns out there is a lot more customer service I'm your profession than it seems at a first look. You did an amazing job handling Boomer. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Turns out there is a lot more customer service I'm your profession than it seems at a first look. You did an amazing job handling Boomer. Thanks for sharing.

  4. It's pretty much a customer service job. A successful male stripper will realize that. I have the option of leaving if the customers become too disrespectful. However, this option should be used only as a last resort after trying all other possibilities.