California Muscle Thongs

***WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SOME IMAGES THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR WORK, SCHOOL, PRESENT COMPANY, OR PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO SEE A GUY IN A THONG***





For anyone wanting to become a male stripper, the man thong is one of the most important piece of clothing to get. Thongs hold dollar bills very well and give the female audience the authentic feel of "tipping" a male stripper. Some aspiring male strippers have even asked me where to find thongs.

Unfortunately, thongs for men are not the easiest thing to find. You cannot just go to Wal Mart or Target and pick one up off the shelves. You may have to check out a lingerie store, and even then, the selection tends to consist of poor quality and small quantity. I have searched far and wide for good thongs to wear and have purchased many thongs from many different manufacturers and vendors, and there is one place that sells thongs of great quality: California Muscle (www.californiamuscle.com).

Teaser thong from CM.

Some of you homophobes out there may say this clothing is for gay people, and you're right---most of it is marketed towards that demographic. But let me tell you something: If you think wearing a thong is gay, then maybe you shouldn't be a male stripper. Face it--when women pay for a male stripper, they pay for a guy who wears a costume, has a nice body, and shows it all off in a thong (and more in some cases). If it's gay to strip down to a thong in front of a crowd of eager and willing women, then I must have been gay when I stripped at a Halloween party that one time and had a threesome with two girls. Get over your insecurities, you pussies.

Anyway, I have been shopping at California Muscle (I will refer to it as CM for short) ever since I started stripping, which was ten years ago, and some of the thongs I purchased then are still in good condition till this very day.

Take the thong from the picture to the left, for instance. The picture was taken in 2003, and that thong has been through many shows over the past decade, tugged on by many women, and it still functions. I use it mainly for tanning now, and it's not as shiny as it once was, but it can debut once again if I so desire.

The thongs from CM also provide plenty of room for your privates to settle and hang, unlike a lot of underwear which mashes your shit together. And with some of more eager crowds of women out there, you're going to need that extra room.

Briefs, which are also available at CM, can substitute thongs for shows in a more conservative setting, usually in a public place such as a bar or club. Some countries, states, counties, or cities have laws regarding how much of the body one can "bare" to the public. In some areas, revealing the ass cheeks in a performance can result in a civil penalty or even a criminal violation. I always carry a pair of briefs as a backup. The "Colt" brief from California Muscle has served me well over the years, and they make for comfortable underwear as well.

The "Shimmer Thong" from CM. Notice the inner liner with the elastic ring.

The only thing that I don't like about some of the underwear from California Muscle would be the built-in cock ring that lines the inside of the front pouch of the thong. Made from an elastic band sewn into an inner liner, the ring supposedly provides support for one's cock and balls and allows a "fuller" look. Basically you shove your dick and your balls or just your dick through that ring, and the elastic band constricts around your junk to slow the blood flow from your penis, allowing for a longer erection or semi-erection. I guess if you're into cock rings and only using these thongs for sex, then the ring should give you no problem, and even some satisfaction for you kinkier ones out there. But if you plan on wearing these thongs for an extended period of time--such as driving to-and-from a show and performing--then that ring will feel like a goddamn clamp choking off the circulation to your genitals. Hell, many experts discourage wearing a cock ring for more than thirty minutes at a time.

The arrows indicate where I cut the liner out of this Colt Brief.

Another reason why I hate having the ring is the fact that some girls will try and yank your thong off of you. Imagine having that ring tightened around your goods and some random girl ripped it off from you in an instance, because she didn't know you were wearing a thong with an elastic ring around your goods. Might as well use your balls as a slingshot, because you'll be keeling over in pain from your first encounter with an overly-enthusiastic girl.

Therefore, I prefer the thongs without the cock ring. Unfortunately, California Muscle attaches the inside liner with a ring to most of their products, especially the ones I prefer to wear. My solution: Cut the liner out. See the Colt brief picture--The arrows indicate where I cut the liner. Works like a fucking charm. I've done this to most of my underwear from California Muscle.

A pleather thong from CM.

My main gripe with the thongs from California Muscle would be the price. The term "expensive" probably comes to mind of most of the shoppers. In this case, you get what you pay for. I bought cheap thongs from other places throughout the years, only to have them fall apart after a few shows. Like I mentioned earlier, the underwear from CM tends to last making it well worth the investment in the long run. 

Overall, the thongs and briefs from California Muscle are perfect for any male stripper. The briefs (without the ring) are more comfortable than most normal briefs out there on the market and function great even as casual underwear. Most of the selection from CM has proven itself durable throughout the years. Most importantly, California Muscle offers flashier and better underwear than most of its competitors out there as long as you can get over the price.