Lately many of my customers have been complaining about their previous experiences with male strippers, and the number of bad incidents far outweigh the good. In some ways, the follies of these guys mean job security for me, but overall, they give the profession a bad name, potentially discouraging women from ever hiring a male stripper again.
The stories below occurred within the last month, and were shared by my most recent customers.
The DJ Stripper
My agent originally scheduled a party for me in Panama City at 6 pm on a Friday night. However, I had plans to go out to dinner with my family, so I politely declined. I sent him a text later apologizing. He replied, "No problem. I got another guy to fill in."
As I was driving home from dinner, my agent called and asked if I could do the party in Panama City around midnight or later. I agreed, wondering if this was the same party.
When I showed up, the customer appeared relieved. "I was worried because the other guy canceled on us at the last minute!"
"I hope he had a good reason," I said.
"He said that he had to DJ at a club somewhere and should've never taken this gig. That made me flip out because I planned this all week and already paid with my credit card. When I told him that, he promised that the company would refund my money. I called the manager."
"He got really pissed because that guy didn't even call him to let him know that he canceled."
I shook my head.
"That's not all! He looked like a kid. He sent us a picture and looked no older than fifteen!" She pulled out her phone, pulled up his picture, and showed it to me.
The photo was of a shirtless guy taking a selfie. He was ripped, but more lean than muscular. He wore his ballcap cocked to the side. I could see why the girls thought he was fifteen, because he resembled Justin Bieber and was trying a little too hard to look tough.
"I'm glad he canceled," she said, looking me up and down with approval.
The performance went well. The bride seemed happy along with the other girls. About halfway through my show, the customer who paid me came forward with her phone held towards the crowd.
"That other dancer just texted me. You gotta read this. What should I say? Is he on his way here?"
I read the text messages. The dancer had written that he had just finished his DJ gig and was available to strip for the girls if they still wanted him. He added, "You want this?" Followed by: "I'll eat you out better than anything you ever had."
I read his last text aloud to the party.
"What the fuck?" one girl said. "That's creepy as hell. Does he think that kind of talk turns us on?"
"He better not show up!" the bride said.
I told the customer, "Tell him that the company already sent another male dancer. I'll call my agent and tell him about this."
The customer did as I said, and the guy simply responded, "Have a nice night then."
The next day I called my agent and told him everything.
"He fuckin told them that?!" he yelled.
"Yeah, and tried to go behind your back to take your booking and keep the profits."
"Oh, he's fuckin fired. He fucked up when he told the customers I'd refund their money without calling me first. Who does he think he is? That other stuff he pulled just sealed the deal."
Bringing a Friend
Originally, my company slated me to do a party in Destin, Florida on Tuesday, July 28, but I couldn't do it due to my day job. So they filled the slot with another stripper.
On Thursday, July 30, I stripped for a bacehlorette party in Destin. It turned out that the customer was the very same one who tried to book a stripper on Tuesdsay, and she had a lot of bad things to say about the previous guy.
Here is a list of her complaints:
- The stripper brought his friend, which really made the girls feel awkward.
- The stripper couldn't dance, and his friend was even worse. (The video made me cringe)
- Both guys seemed to focus more on enjoying themselves than giving a good show.
- Since the stripper's friend didn't have a costume, they split the only costume the stripper had. One wore the shirt and the other wore the pants.
- Both guys wore fucking gym shorts as their underwear! Not thongs, but shorts.
- The guys didn't bring their own music, and instead, asked the girls to play theirs.
- They looked like they were still in high school, which was a big turn-off even for the crowd in their early 20's.
- When the customer expressed her disapproval of their lackluster performance, the stripper replied, "Come on, I have a four-year-old to feed at home."
- Once again, the stripper brought his buddy along without telling the customer in advanced.
|The friend (left) watches in awkward silence in the background.|
All in all, it was an easy and fun crowd. I impressed them with my cop routine, and they especially enjoyed my thong, which unsnapped at the sides. They participated in each of my activities, and we all had a great time.
It's a pretty easy job to do once you get the hang of it, but some guys still manage to find ways to fuck it up.
Like I said, though, it's job security for me.