Friday, August 21, 2015

Playing the Hand You're Dealt

I always appreciate e-mails from readers, even if I'm extremely busy and don't have time to respond to them all in a timely manner. Just know that your e-mails and comments give me the motivation to write books and continually update this blog.

That said, I try to respond to all e-mails no matter what. However, I recently received an interesting e-mail that was difficult to answer, as it reminded me painfully of my younger days in high school where I was socially inept and faced repeated frustrations when it came to dating.

Here's the message from Jim (not his actual name, but that's what we'll use to keep him anonymous):

Hey Dion,

I have been reading your blog for quite some time now. I really enjoyed your book too. It has been amusing and informative at the same time. It's nice to read about your wild experience and imagine that lifestyle.

The question I want to ask is if you get rejected a lot when approaching women or dating. You seem like you are good at talking to girls so you're the ideal person to ask.

I get rejected all the time. I'm 28 and have a good job. I'm not handsome at all and a bit on the chubby side. Sometimes I wonder what's the point in even trying to date if girls don't find me attractive. I feel that if you're not born with good looks then you have it tough.

I was wondering if good looking guys go through hardships as well. Is there any advice you can give me on how to deal with this?

Thank you in advance.

Dion's Response:

Dear Jim,

It's really difficult to give you advice without me standing there in person to gauge your situation. However, I will said this: Life is like a game of poker.

We're all dealt a hand of cards when we're born. Some of the more fortunate players in life receive a superior hand: royal flush, four-of-a-kind, or a full house. These people are either born with wealth, good-looks, high intelligence, extra privileges, or a combination of each.

Those less fortunate may not even get a pair of matching cards. They are born into poverty, less desirable physical appeal, lower intelligence, fewer privileges, or a combination of such.

The one thing that real life and poker have in common is that you can succeed even with a bad hand. Even without a pair. Poor people have become wealthy. Unattractive people have become more attractive. Simple-minded people formed flourishing businesses.

From the sounds of it, Jim, you might not have been dealt the best hand, but you have a decent job now and that's a good start. So run with that hand. You can improve your appearance by exercising, eating better, and improving your hygiene. You can spice up your personality by taking on new interests and experiencing new things.

It's all on what you decide to do with your hand. The only thing you must never do is give up. That's what the losers of the game do. They bitch and gripe about their lot in life.

Even some players with the best hand -- the ones born with wealth, good looks, etc. -- squander their luck with bad decisions. I've seen people attractive people destroy their appearance with reckless habits, rich people blow all their money with nothing to show, and intelligent people whittle their talents on frivolous pursuits.

So you're not the best looking guy in town. You don't have to be. I'm not, either. Not all girls find me attractive, you know. But I constantly try to improve myself, whether it's exercising, enhancing my standard of living, reading something new to gain more knowledge, or learning a new skill. As long as you're a quality work in progress, somebody out there will take an interest. I've attained more success with women because I strive to maintain a constant state of improvement.

That's the interesting thing about life and poker. The outcome depends on your ability to make smart decisions, and maybe some luck here and there. You're not always going to win at something, but you increase your chances when you have the right attitude.

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