Monday, October 24, 2011

The Bachelor(ette) Party Conundrum

Several people have asked me if I would ever approve of my future bride having a male stripper at her bachelorette party, especially since knowing first hand the crazy stuff that can happen at these parties. This may surprise some of you, but my answer is no. I disapprove of most forms of bachelorette parties. Before some of you jump onto my case about being a hypocrite, I also disapprove most forms of bachelor parties.

There are many ways to celebrate bachelor(ette) parties. Some people just have a mild party that involves family and friends. Others just get together with their best friends and have a vacation or partake in a shared hobby. Think of it as the pre-wedding party or event---it allows friends to spend time with each other before the busy and hectic wedding day. During the past 30 or 40 years though, bachelor/bachelorette parties evolved into a crazy event where you do perform "final act as a single person before tying the knot." This act involves getting together with your friends, getting smashed, going out to the clubs, getting a stripper, and vowing to keep a secret of the entire night. Hence, the slogan "What happens at a bachelor(ette) party, stays at a bachelor(ette) party."

These are the parties I disapprove of. Let's factor in all the ingredients: loads of alcohol, a whole night without the fiance, strippers or someone hot at the club, and your friends promising to keep your secrets... Sounds like a recipe for disaster. On top of that, mixing alcohol into any situation tends to provide tragic results such as cheating, distrust, or fighting.

Guys, if your girl likes to go out without you to ladies' night out at the club to get drunk, then you should be wary. Girls, if your guy likes to go out without you with his buddies to get drunk, he may be looking for trouble---unless he just loves to watch sports or play video games a lot. Keep this in mind: Not everyone who goes out drinking or partying without his or her significant other is a cheater, but everyone who is a cheater tends to go out drinking or partying without his or her significant other.

You should know your partner before marrying. The warning signs are there for those of you in relationships. Many people who desire to party with their friends while omitting the significant others often ask for trouble. I understand that this is not always the case. Some may argue that they have only innocent intentions of "having fun" when going out and drinking, but consider this: Every relationship has a low point where both partners cling to each other by a thin thread; therefore, going out and drinking provide the knife to severe this thread. Add a bachelor(ette) party to that mix and it can provide the fatal blow to the relationship.

Although I disagree with the concept of the bachelor(ette) party, there are innocent bachelor(ette) parties that consist of pure fun with friends. I have seen such nice parties with my own eyes. However, I have also seen bachelorettes who wanted to sleep with me, and I know that their marriage will not last. Not everyone is out there to cheat, but if you're already having misconceptions about your fiance's upcoming bachelor(ette) party, then you may need to sit down and reconsider getting married.

As for what I would do if I were ever to get married, I would have a mixed bachelor and bachelorette party where friends and family come together for a good time. This would involve a lot of food, games, and activities for everyone to enjoy. Perhaps a vacation for everyone involved. It may sound lame, but I don't desire a stripper or a wild night out because as you can see, I've had enough wild nights to last a life time. In addition, I will make sure that my partner isn't the type of girl who enjoys naughty thrills behind my back. This type of party is not for everyone, but by doing things this way, I remove all the bad ingredients for a disastrous recipe that I have witnessed so many times in person throughout my career as a male dancer.


  1. I'm really glad you posted this as this is one of the questions that I really wanted to ask. Tbh, I never thought of myself as someone who would be in to a stripper. I agreed with what you thought about it being mostly just silly and embarrassment, but damn! After reading some of what you've posted I could see myself getting really turned on. Being that I have a hard time controlling myself when alcohol and sex are on the table, I am now certain I should never attend a bachelorette or birthday party like some you have described. The funny thing is, after reading your blog I asked my husband how he would feel about me going to such a party and he said he would be fine with it because he trusted me. I let him know insure as hell wouldn't be letting him go to any similar parties and I think you illustrate a good point as to why! Love the blog btw! You seem like a lot of fun and a genuinely nice guy.

  2. Thank you for the kind words!

    When I initially wrote the stories and started the blog, I thought only men would be interested in reading. I'm flattered that you and other women find it appealing as well.

    And I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to have such a party!