1. Could you break down into percentages the amount of parties that a. the women don't touch your junk b. they just have a quick fondle/grope and c. they actually suck or jerk you off?
Keep in mind that these are just rough estimates that I pulled out of my ass. I didn't go through each and every party and break down the numbers. These numbers are also likely to change depending on when you ask me as well.
a. Women who don't touch - 25%
b. Women who fondle/grope - 70%
c. Women who jerk me off or give me a blowjob - 5%
2. Do the women you strip for ever try to play with your ass? (i don't just mean groping cheeks, I mean wanting to look at or play with your butthole and stuff like that)
A few girls have licked or kissed my ass cheeks, and a few girls have placed dollar bills in my butt crack and traced their hands inside of it, but I never had a girl "play with my butthole." I don't think most girls are into the whole ass-play or butthole thing. That's a field more suited for gay guys.
3. Have you ever had any embarrassing accidents/mishaps when performing? (like an accidental popout, getting an accidental boner, or accidentally jizzing?)
I have had accidental pop-outs and boners here and there. Boners happen when I am relaxed and the girls are turning me on. I never accidentally jizz. It takes a lot of effort for me to cum in front of a group of girls for some reason.
4. You're a good writer, but could you try writing some of your experiences in a more descriptive/erotic way (like some of the better stripping/cfnm* stories on literotica)? It'd be great for guys like myself who'd love to know what it's like stripping for groups of women but who are too shy or can't dance or are too ugly/skinny/fat/short to ever be able to try it for themselves. (*CFNM means "clothed female nude male")
Why thank you. Actually, I had a few erotic stripping stories that I wanted to send to Penthouse. I'll be sure to post some of them on here. I have only posted 50% of the interesting bits of my job, and new stuff is happening to me all the time. Keep checking back for updates.
5. How often women actually think you are a cop? Don't they know what it means when a good looking cop shows up at a bachelorette party?
Most of the time, women believe that I'm a cop. More so recently than when I first started. I believe that I had gotten used to the role of the police officer responding to the "noise complaint." When I first began the cop routine, I lacked the confidence and command presence that actual cops had because of nervousness. But I have done this routine so many times now that I sometimes feel like I am a cop showing up to quell the noise violation.
However, some women will know that I'm a male stripper for a variety of reasons. Women with good knowledge of law enforcement tend to see through my act. Other women just know that the formula of police officer and bachelorette party equals a male stripper. Most of the time, it's the bachelorette's friends that give away the ruse by blurting out that a stripper is coming, or they'll giggle and laugh in the background while I perform the cop routine.
If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail them to me here: firstname.lastname@example.org