Friday - April 12, 2013
Perdido Key, Florida
Perdido Key, Orange Beach, and Gulf Shores all line up in a row atop of the Gulf of Mexico.
I returned near the location of last week's party in Gulf Shores, only ten minutes away and in Florida.
This group of girls rented a condo and needed a male stripper for the bachelorette, who was unaware that I was coming. They requested the police costume and formulated the most original plan to prank the bride-to-be: the "noise complaint'.
So I donned on my crime fighting uniform and arrived at the party under the pretense of quelling the noise complaint. The girls played along well enough to my ruse, but the bachelorette figured it out and responded by collapsing into a hysterical fit of laughter on the floor.
Girls love the police uniform, but it rarely fools anyone anymore. The combination of bachelorette party, police officer, and noise complaint equals the most common cliche for a male stripper show.
My strip show lasted between five to ten minutes. Despite most of the girls being drunk to the point of falling and spilling drinks everywhere, they maintained the most conservative approach towards me. No body shots, groping, or anything sexually explicit. The most physical interaction that occurred was the bachelorette gingerly tipping some money into my thong.
The girls also called an end to my performance, which was a first. I would usually do that by announcement. Instead, one of the girls told the others to give me a round of applause. After that I collected my money and left, happy that the performance was so short and easy.
Ten years ago, this party would have disappointed me since there was little interaction and absolutely no shot at getting laid. Now, I look forward to it, being that it involves little work, little demand, and high pay. If only all parties could be this easy.