Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Chapter 4: Getting Started (as a Male Stripper)

*Note: The following chapter is an excerpt from my book, "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper" that is available here.  

Previous chapter: click here

I get e-mails all the time from guys wanting to jump into this profession, thinking they’ll bang multiple girls at each party while the money rains down on them. Some even think that stripping will provide them enough income to pay for college along with their monthly bills. And don’t get me started on the misconceptions. Porn sites out show male strippers having orgies with multiple girls at the strip club, taking turns boning several models bareback before shooting a big load on their faces… Yeah, that’s porn.
(Though it is possible!)
That doesn’t necessarily mean that fantasies become reality in this line of work. There are plenty of opportunities for money and women (or men if that is your preference), and a savvy male stripper can make out like a bandit with both.   
It’s not a perfect occupation though. Even after working in the industry for a while, many men start complaining: the women were mean; working on weekends sucks; driving everywhere sucks; the employer takes a big cut of the money.
The bottom line is that stripping is a job, and every job has its fair share of bullshit. I’ll list the drawbacks below so you can determine whether or not this is the path for you.

Drawback #1: Working Weekends
That means Friday and Saturday nights, so get ready to say “goodbye” to your social life. This job will be your new social life. 
Most customers plan their parties on the weekends since that is when they have off work. So about 95% of the time, you will work either Friday or Saturday night.
During spring and summer, your employer will have work for you just about every Friday and Saturday night if you’re near a big city or a hot tourist resort where people go to have bachelorette parties and special events. I hope you didn’t have any plans to go out with friends or family because that’s not likely going to happen during peak season with this job.
If you continuously turn down work because you want to hang out with your friends or go on a date during the weekends, expect your employer to book another stripper in your place. And the next time a party becomes available, the other guy will have first priority because he is more reliable than you are.

Drawback #2: Last Minute Bookings
Imagine making plans to go out to dinner with your girlfriend at a nice restaurant. It’s 6 p.m., and you two sit down and order something to eat when suddenly your cell phone rings. It’s your booking agent. There’s a bachelorette party at 9 p.m. Do you want to do it?
Well, you can probably finish dinner, but you’re not going to get laid afterwards. Your girlfriend will be mad if you take the show because you ruined the date night, and your employer will be disappointed if you cannot take the show because you’re costing him the sale.
This scenario happens a lot. Parties book strippers at the last minute all the time. Sometimes, another stripper cancels just prior to his show, so your employer wants you to go in his stead.
Last minute bookings always happen on the same day, hours before the show. Sometimes they are impossible to make on time, and the booking company will be understanding. They sometimes even charge more for last minute shows. Companies love male strippers who are available because that’s more money for the company.
Male strippers who are always available get first dibs for parties on the roster.

Drawback #3: Travel
Whether you strip at private parties or onstage at a male revue, expect to travel—a lot.
Chippendales and other similar male revue strippers go on long tours where they travel from city to city, with long periods away from home. Homesickness is a common malady on the road. Some of these guys live in hotels, sharing rooms with coworkers. They rarely get their own space, and they sit on a tour bus or plane for hours at a time.
The other groups of touring strippers live with fewer luxuries. Most have to use their own modes of transportation, which is money out of their pockets. Sometimes, the money they earn from the male revue fails to cover the travel expenses, making the event a waste of time from a financial standpoint. At the very worst, some of these guys sleep in their own vehicles.
Private party strippers often have it the easiest, but they still do a lot of travel. They drive (or take public transportation) directly to the location of the event, which can be minutes away or several hours away. Traveling costs time, money, and puts wear and tear on the stripper’s vehicle.
While the idea of travel may sound like a novelty—see new sights and try new things—being on the road all the time starts to suck before long.

Drawback #4: Unstable Income
If you think you’re going to get rich doing this job, think again. Male strippers share one major thing in common with firefighters—they both usually work other jobs to earn a living.
Sometimes, I go weeks without work, and at other times, I do nothing but hop from party to party.
As mentioned earlier, most parties fall on Fridays or Saturdays. The spring and summer times are the peak season. Work starts to dwindle when everyone hibernates for the winter.
No parties means no income. That’s a jagged pill to swallow for those looking for easy money. At least you know what you’ll get with other jobs that offer a set salary and set work hours. Working as a male stripper is a surprise each and every time. You can go to a bachelorette party anticipating $100 in tips and walk away with less than $10.
The exception lies with touring acts such as Chippendales, who make a steady salary and have a constant workload. Male strip clubs also present a normal schedule at a fixed location, but their success and the success of their employees depend on the flow of customers coming in and out of the establishment.
Living in a big city that has a large demand for male strippers is a big plus, along with living near a place where people congregate with extra money to waste, but expect fierce competition from other guys.

Drawback #5: Pension and benefits
It ain’t happening.

Drawback #6: Competition
Male stripping is a highly competitive job. The better guy gets the work. Better involves a number of factors: looks, muscles, reliability, work ethic, stage presence, costumes, etc.
This is a dream job for most men. Who loves to be the center of attention in front of a room of hot girls? I’m sure just about every straight guy out there would raise his hand. As a result, the sheer number of applicants for this job is overwhelming. The supply of wannabe male strippers far surpasses the demand for them. That’s why booking companies want to hire the best guy to send out to customers, not the most average.
What baffles me is the number of guys who send me e-mails with pics asking if they’re eligible to become male strippers. Most of the time, these guys have abs, but are rail thin. Sometimes, they have some muscle mass, but hold too much body fat. Take a look at a male stripping booking website. Those guys have good muscle mass and look like models. They are the competition. If you look like shit standing next to those guys, then you probably aren’t qualified for this job, even if your girlfriend says you’re the hottest stud in town.
The same thing happens at male revues. The best looking and most charismatic guys get the money while the least attractive guys get ignored. It can be demoralizing if you’re at the bottom of the totem pole.

Drawback #7: Social Repercussions
Do you work a professional day job? Are you part of the church choir? Would word of your job getting out to the public damage your reputation with your community, friends, or family? If so, you might want to consider if the risks are worth it.

Drawback #8: Muscular Maintenance
Do you like to eat junk food, or go out drinking on the weekends? Do you have a sweet tooth? Do you hate lifting weights on a regular basis? If so, then this job is not for you.
Developing and maintaining a muscular body requires discipline and good eating and training habits. In other words, it can be a pain in the ass.
You might be one of those lucky guys who can cram anything down their throats and not gain an ounce of fat while maintaining muscle mass. Hell, I was one of those guys in my early 20s. However, most people cannot. Metabolism slows with age, so even the young guys who shrug off their bad habits tend to pay later in life. The male strippers who like to drink, party, and eat whatever on a regular basis don’t last in the field very long. Once they pack on the pounds and lose muscle definition, the women start complaining.
Most normal human beings need to be highly dedicated to good training and nutrition in order to develop a ripped, muscular body and keep it. This requires a sacrifice of time and effort in the gym and kitchen, not to mention forsaking heavy drinking and drugs. Healthy living can be boring. The abundance of junk food, alcohol, and laziness in our society means job security for a male stripper. Therefore, you must always strive to maintain an ideal physical condition, as there are other ripped and willing guys ready to take your place should you falter and become flabby.

Drawback #9: Relationships
Being a male stripper and a good boyfriend/fiancĂ©/husband at the same time is hard, especially when you’re young and horny. Opportunity and temptation lurk at every corner in the guise of eager girls in their prime wearing tantalizing perfume and provocative clubbing attire that draw your attention like a tractor beam. Every party can become a test of faithfulness and virtue for a stripper in a relationship.
Relationships are one of the top reasons most guys quit this job, according to my booking agents.
A good male stripper either stays single, or has an extremely open-minded girlfriend who doesn’t mind the fact that he comes in close physical contact with many women on a weekly basis.
I’d even go as far to suggest getting a bi-sexual girlfriend who encourages you to bring home cute girls from your work, but that’s just me. 
Quitting this job at the start of each relationship and reapplying for it again at the end of said relationship is a great way to get you on the blacklist of male stripping booking companies. Nobody wants a flaky employee who changes direction depending on where the wind of his relationship is blowing.  

Drawback #10: Bad Customers
Ever worked as a waiter? Imagine the table full of difficult customers who piss and moan about their drinks not having enough ice, or there wasn’t enough salad dressing on the salad, or salt on the fries. No matter what you do to please them, they find something else to scold you about. Next, they want to complain to the manager about how much of a shithead you are even though you did everything in your power to please them. Well, strippers get bad customers too, and having a room full of pissed off women griping at you while you’re wearing nothing but a thong is very uncomfortable. You’re in their place alone, and there is no manager or coworker to bail you out. Have fun in the coop of angry hens pecking at you!
Bad customers come in all forms. They can be insulting and rude. Sometimes they are demanding or too aggressive. They may try to micromanage your routine, or refuse to participate. Maybe these customers try to grope you beyond your level of comfort. Sometimes they are downright disrespectful. For instance, during one of my shows, the bachelorette took a silicone dildo and attempted to slap me in the face with it, just because she thought it was funny. I didn’t think it was funny at all.
Bad customers tend to be drunk in addition to obnoxious, so they’ll try things that a sober person wouldn’t normally do. Their actions are worse in a private party setting where the whole crowd is removed from the public eye.
These situations are demoralizing, and can devastate a newbie. Even veteran male strippers run into bad customers from time to time. It’s part of the job. If you get your feelings hurt easily, then look for employment somewhere else.    

Drawback #11: Dangerous Situations
Believe it or not, male stripping has its dangers, but this usually isn’t due to the customers. It’s from other men.
Some bookings may have a male stripper perform at a public venue such as a bar or club where there are men in the establishment. They usually aren’t with the party who booked the male stripper, but just happened to be present. Sometimes these guys get pissed because you’re getting all the attention with the women in the club, while they’re sitting in a corner getting drunk alone, so they think that taking out their aggression on the stripper will solve all their problems, or at least make them feel better.
In other situations, one of the girls at your party may have a boyfriend, fiancĂ©, or husband who is upset because you touched his woman, even if she or her friends encouraged it and you didn’t know her relationship status. Or perhaps he’s just a normal guy, but she’s a drama starter and wants to make him jealous.
Either way, you have a guy wanting to fight you, or worse: he wants to kill you. 
I have never had strangers want to fight me in public until I became a male stripper.
In addition to potential violence, there is also the risk of new locations. The customers who book you are strangers, and the place you’re going to is unknown. Usually, your booking agent tries to weed out the potential weird and shady customers, but a few manage to slip through the cracks.
If you’re timid and fearful of potential violence, you may want to avoid this job. On the other hand, if you love to fight and fuck someone up, you may want to avoid this job too, because you’re going to constantly find opportunities for a fight in the wrong setting—resulting in a trip to jail or to the hospital. 

Drawback #12: Start-up Expenses
Becoming a stripper isn’t as easy as showing up and taking off your clothes. Women pay for a male stripper, not the kid wearing a ball cap tilted to the side and jeans sagging down to expose his boxers. They want a stud in uniform, wearing some sexy underwear to hold all those dollar bills.
Booking companies need male strippers with reliable communication devices and transportation. You need to own a cell phone and be available to take calls. Don’t bother applying if you rarely answer or reply to messages, or your phone shuts off frequently because you can’t pay your bills on time. Transportation usually means your own vehicle, unless you’re in a big city where public transportation is more feasible. Cell phones and vehicles expenses come from your own pocket. Don’t expect to get reimbursed unless you’re a Chippendale.
The same goes for your wardrobe of costumes and thongs. The booking company expects you to have these things, and they will not invest in these items for you. If you’re lucky, they may recommend a few places to shop.
Also, you’ll need to provide your own music. How you do it is your problem. Unless you’re a thief, you’re probably going to have to spend some money in this area as well.
Think about these things carefully before deciding to sign up. One peculiar thing about this job is that the burden of getting started rests heavily on the applicant. If it seems like too much, then move aside and let the long line of other applicants ahead of you because they want this job more than you.

Drawback #13: Dancing
If you love to dance, ignore this. If you hate dancing, you’re going to have a problem because male strippers need to dance. Crowds expect it.

You have to dance in front of everyone. The women are watching you, judging you, and making comments about you. Such an endeavor would be nerve-racking for many guys who are fully clothed. You will be taking off your clothes. Now is not the time for insecurities and feeling self-conscious. 

Next chapter: click here


  1. You hit the nail on the head in #9. A bisexual girlfriend or wife is the way to go, especially if she loves to share and gets turned on by you turning other women on. Jackpot! Of course, I think that kind of woman is the ideal for any man, not just strippers. Unfortunately, there just aren't that many!

  2. You hit the nail on the head in #9. A bisexual girlfriend or wife is the way to go, especially if she loves to share and gets turned on by you turning other women on. Jackpot! Of course, I think that kind of woman is the ideal for any man, not just strippers. Unfortunately, there just aren't that many!