The following is from Chapter 9 of "Behind the G-String: Dion's Guide to Becoming a Male Stripper," which is available on Amazon.
Hygiene will make or break a male stripper. You can have a handsome face, a ripped and muscular body, great dancing skills, and an alluring stage presence, but all of those traits will be for naught if your hygiene is shit. A smelly stripper doesn't get tips.
Whenever you hear “You smell good!” from a customer, you’re doing something right. To hear such a compliment is a result of customer satisfaction and possibly a sign of attraction.
When it comes to hygiene though, we are not all created equal. Some of us naturally smell better than others. Unfortunately, it is difficult to determine whether you stink or not, because you become accustomed to your own stench after time.
My advice on hygiene not only applies towards the field of male stripping, but also towards dating and going out as well. A pungent odor will fizzle out a girl’s attraction just as quickly as douchebag commentary.
Therefore, here are ways to determine whether you stink:
Smell your dirty clothes after removing them. Set them aside and take a shower. After some time has passed, pick them up and smell them, especially in the areas where you sweat the most, such as the pits. his is the odor people smell on you.
Sweating profusely. People who sweat easily tend to stink more. Antiperspirants can alleviate this problem.
Your diet. You are what you eat. Some foods make you stink more than others. High protein and low carb diets can make your sweat smell like ammonia.
Lick your wrist and wait ten seconds before sniffing it. This determines whether your breath stinks. This odor is what other people smell when you speak close enough to them or make out with them.
Ask someone you trust. Reassure them that you want an honest assessment, not something to placate your ego.
If you smelled a horrible odor after performing one or several of the tests above, I have several steps for you to take to ensure that you smell decent before going out. Remember, if the ladies can’t stand your stench, then you probably won’t be making much money.
Step 1: Diet
Your diet and health habits determine how you smell. If you consume onions, garlic, beer, and red meat, you can bet on those odors seeping out of your pores, and people in your vicinity will not find it pleasant.
Avoid excessive amount of (keep in mind that I said “excessive”): onions, garlic, red meat, spices, beer, and soy products.
Foods that improve your smell: citrus fruits, watermelon, bananas, spinach, and nuts (high in zinc).
Step 2: Your Environment
Ever been inside a smoker's house that owns a lot of cats? That person and their house will smell like a mix between cigarette smoke and cat piss and shit combined. However, he or she will not even notice the smell. Just because you can ignore the smell doesn’t mean that your customers can.
My advice: Avoid having too many pets because their odor rubs off on you. Don’t smoke. We non-smokers can smell that shit on you from a stone’s throw away. The same goes for you potheads—don’t smoke before a performance. Clean your house thoroughly and frequently by vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, dusting, and washing your sheets. Dust and other airborne particles can seep into your clothing, making you smell as musty as your dirty house.
Also, wash your clothes. Don’t wear dirty clothes to a performance.
Step 3: Showering
Shower or bathe thoroughly before the event. Use a loofah sponge with soap or body wash to scrub your skin. Your target areas should be your face, neck, crotch, pits, chest, abs, and ass. Why? Because those parts of your body will be in close proximity to your customer, so you definitely want them smelling good.
Clean your belly button. Any nurse will tell you that the belly button can be a nasty place. When you let women take body shots from your abs, the last thing you want is a gross belly button.
If you plan to take off your shoes, make sure you really wash those feet. You might want to consider getting a pedicure. Not only do nail salons trim your toenails well, but they also clean your feet and toenails of dirt, dead skin, and bad odor. Plus, you get a foot massage on top of it all!
One more thing. If you take a shit before a party, make sure to shower and wash your ass afterwards. There are women who will stick their fingers in your ass-crack. Don't let customers pick your G-string from a dingleberry bush.
Step 4: Fragrances
You can enhance the smell of your body by adding cologne, body spray, scented moisturizer, and deodorant. If you have a rank natural body odor, I highly recommend using fragrances after a shower to mask your stinky self. Don't overdo it. A lot of people are sensitive to smells, and there is nothing more repulsive than a guy wrapped in a fog cloud of cologne.
Here’s what I do: First, I apply scented moisturizer (sometimes a vanilla or cinnamon scent) to my legs, arms, chest, back, ass, and crotch area. Don’t rub scented moisturizer on your dick—it really burns (I say this from experience because I tried masturbating with it before). Scented oils also work well. Just don’t use baby oil because of its particular smell. Next, I spray either body spray or cologne around various parts of my body. One spray of cologne around your head and torso area should be sufficient. Spray some on your ass if you like as well. Last, use deodorant so your pits don’t gas people to death when you raise your arms overhead.
Ensure that your clothes smell good when you put them on, otherwise you’ll offset your shower and fragrances.
Step 5: Oral Hygiene
Halitosis is enemy. The last thing you want is for women to back away from your bad breath while you’re talking.
Solution: Brush your teeth and your tongue. The tongue is the most common source of bad breath, especially on the posterior dorsum (the back part of your tongue). After brushing your tongue, gargle with mouthwash. This allows the mouthwash to reach the back parts of your mouth where the odor comes from. Don’t forget to floss as well. Having food in your teeth isn't very sexy.
You can sneak poor hygiene habits past an employer during the hiring process, but you can’t fool the customers. If you really smell, they will complain and you’ll find yourself getting less work or even fired. Good hygiene shows the general public that you take care of yourself.
Those of you who naturally smell worse than average have an uphill battle with odor. You need to focus that much harder on keeping yourself clean and smelling nice. When in doubt, carry an extra pair of clothes to change into when you sweat along with some wipes and fragrances. Bring along a backpack filled with clothes, cologne, deodorant, a toothbrush with toothpaste, floss, and even a washcloth. These things come in handy when you have three or four consecutive shows and need to freshen up in between gigs.
So remember: Your job is to produce an image of the fantasy man that women want, and excellent hygiene is part of that image.