Party Log: May 9, 2014

Gulf Shores, Alabama

May 9, 2014

A grandma booked me for her granddaughter’s bachelorette party. The mother paid me. It was a family thing. The bride and her friends were all 21 years old and very inexperienced.

When I first stripped, the bride did not want any interaction with me whatsoever. She would not even tip a dollar bill into my thong. The rest of her friends were the same. Most of them were too hesitant to do anything with me, except one wild girl.

I wondered if their reluctance stemmed from the fact that the bride’s mother and father hovered in the background, trying to cheer them on. 

It took every ounce of effort and willpower on my part, plus my years of experience as a showman, to draw some of these girls out of their modest shells. The bride’s mother was calling all the girls “a bunch of chickens” and chiding them for not acting crazier. Even the father told the girls to “loosen up and relax.” By the end of the party, I managed to convince the bride to dance with me, slap my ass, and even take bills out of my thong with her teeth while wearing a blindfold. The bride even wanted to hire me for a future party, so I guess she was happy.

The highlight of the evening came after I finished my performance. The bride and her best friend asked if I stuffed a sock into my thong. I told them that I didn’t. Then, they asked if I used a penis pump on it to make it bigger. I chuckled at this because I never heard such a question before, even on my website. I then explained that it was only my dick inside my thong and that I take off my thong during some shows, so using a sock to give it a bigger illusion would make me look stupid.

“So you don’t pump up your penis at all?” the bride asked.

“Yeah, your penis is always like that?” her friend asked. “It’s not hard at all?”

“Nope. If it were hard, it’d be popping out for everyone to see.”

Then the mother drifted over to us and said in her thick Alabama accent, “Honey, just cause y’all’s men have small peckers doesn’t mean the male stripper has one.”

I lost all composure and broke into a fit of laughter.

What was even funnier was the fact that the girls did not object to the mother’s statement, or rushed to defend their men's manhood. They simply accepted it in silence.